After being resettled, I lived alone with my sister, who was unmarried. The residents of the area were worried about my fate.

They gave me in marriage to a violent alcoholic. He abused me, even when I was 3 months pregnant – so I had to divorce him. I wanted nothing to do with him. I run a shop in order to look after my daughter – she is 3 years old now. We make Rs. 200 to Rs. 300 a day, and I support the four of us, (including my father and mother) with this money.

My one wish is to give my daughter a better life.”

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The wish to protect and educate their children, was often repeated among the women Groundviews spoke to. This desire gave these women the will to endure, even in the face of psychological torture.

The CID came for me in October 2009. My daughter and I were arrested and taken to the 4th Floor in Colombo. I remained in remand for 6 months.

After 10pm at the 4th Floor, you don’t hear men’s voices. It’s only the screaming and crying of women who are being abused by the officers. Having my daughter there meant I did not suffer like they did. They spoke to me in such filthy language; they told me my husband hadn’t come back to the army side and wasn’t at any of the camps.

A CID man used to hit me. In Sinhalese he told me, if they released me, I had to go to all the camps and look for my husband. In April 2010, when I was released, they made it clear that I was never to report what had happened to me. Twice a month, I was asked to come to the 4th Floor. Eventually, I had to stop going because it was too expensive to make the trip. I was scared to go to anyone for fear that they would follow me. I stopped working and began to do small tasks at home, pounding rice flour and spices.

The CID kept calling me until I changed my SIM. A few days later, they would call on the new number. I have changed 19 houses since I was released. They suspect any relative I interact with so I’ve cut off contact from all of them. Since I live alone, and the CID constantly asks after me, people assume that my character is 'not good’.

My husband joined the movement to protect the Tamil people. We have done nothing wrong. The LTTE had a very good system in place. They were good to women and always looked out for their safety.

After the government changed, the army offered me money, a house and said my daughter would be taken care of if I told them 'the truth'. I haven’t even gone for counseling. It will only make things worse.

What I need most is support to carry out self-employment, it’s what a lot of women in my circumstances need. Many of them have been forced into prostitution to earn something but because of my child, I won’t do that."

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A representative from the Women’s Action Network – Mullaitivu explained that many of the Muslim residents followed the law laid out under the Muslim Marriage and Divorce Act (MMDA), and faced difficulties due to bureaucratic delays. Currently, there is no permanent representative from the Quazi court to act as an arbitrator in divorce cases. A single acting representative travelled to Mullaitivu once a week, but a heavy backlog of cases ensured women often had to wait months before their cases were even heard.

After he burned me, I couldn’t stand for long. After around 2 years of struggling, I found work at a hotel, but my husband found me again. So I stopped working there. Now I survive by working in people’s houses, doing jobs like sifting rice flour. I have to leave the three children with my mother when I do this.

Before my husband left, I was too nervous to even go to the hospital alone. Now, I have to do this on my own.

I went to the quazi court for aid and after five years have still not received adequate redress. I don’t even know where my husband is. I don’t know how he can remarry when we are not divorced.

I get Rs. 4000 a month working for an NGO. I will probably keep doing this work so I can feed my children and fund their schooling.

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The culture in the North and East changed dramatically after the war, the Women’s Action Network representative explained. Even the time usually people visited the kovil or mosque changed. Now, women in these areas avoid going out after 5:30 pm. Yet, many courageous women defy this unspoken rule in order to make a living.

I make palmyrah products to earn a living. I’m well-known in the area, for all the social work I’m involved in. When I go about on my errands, I take a knife with me. I do have the strength to stab a man if he tries anything funny, I am prepared to defend myself.

I work with a group of women and we go out at around 2 or 3 am to pick palmyrah seeds. The other women do not fear because I come along.

I had to go to work two weeks after my hysterectomy because I needed to feed my child. The doctor told me ‘do not think you are a man’ and said I shouldn’t work so hard. My child compares what she has against her other classmates. I want to be able to give her all of that so I work hard, disregarding my health and the doctor's advice.

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Rape and abuse are constant, yet unspoken of, issues that prevail in the North and East. Those interviewed were often reluctant to acknowledge this issue.

There are in fact, many who are in voluntary relationships with Army personnel, Women's Action Network- Mullaitivu explained. These cases are resolved on a personal level. However the fear of abuse persists, particularly among unmarried girls.

Many families like us face similar issues in receiving aid from the Government. The husband is in one area and the wife and children living in another, and so the allocation of aid is a problem.

Since my sister and I are unmarried, we face many difficulties. Our brother cannot work very far from home, since we are nervous to stay alone - the area we live in has a severe drug problem. I myself cook in a hotel. We have to send my younger sister to a neighbour’s house, when I go to work."

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While there are many who offer counseling in the North and East, there is a lack of consistent support, and particularly, of specialist services, Women’s Action Network – Mullaitivu said. There is just one specialist psychiatrist for the entire district. Local NGOs often assist with short term projects, but once funding dries up, they have to move elsewhere, so there is a lack of continued support. Yet, counseling can give many of these women a new outlook on life, even in the aftermath of violence.

Many who spoke to Groundviews also said frankly that the LTTE did not allow for extramarital affairs and abandonment. As such, they felt the culture in their areas had deteriorated after the war – and they were suffering the consequences.

It was counseling that saved me. I feel free now, thanks to that. I love singing, and the local hospital often asks me to sing at events.

My former husband gives me Rs. 12,000 a month as support. I am continually worried, however, that he might stop the payments. I still work as a teacher. When people see that I am doing relatively well, sometimes they question how I am able to support myself. I am often afraid, after sending the twins to school and before they come home. I have heard the issues that can befall women living on their own.

When you compare our way of life before the war and now, I see a huge change. During the LTTE's time, they would never have allowed people to have love affairs like this. They had a saying, “One person for one person”. How can today's society forgive people who abandon their wives in this manner?

There is no amount of money that can compensate for not having a loving father. The twins are sad they don’t have a father, which makes me sad. But I have to survive."

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I can’t afford tuition classes for her and to send her in a three-wheeler so I teach her at home, and she goes by bus for class.

One day on my way home, a man on a bike was following me. I walked into a shop for a while, hoping he would pass. Instead he started asking questions. He even asked for my telephone number. These young boys annoying me are very stressful.

I’ve told my daughter that she needs to study hard, to get a good job and not suffer like I am. She once came 10th in class. When she saw the first three winners standing on the podium at the prize giving, she told me she wants to be able to stand there as well. At the next prize giving, she came third. Her aim is to become a doctor."

I lost my mother in the war. I am supposed to be a Samurdhi beneficiary, and receive a house under the Divi Neguma scheme, but I still haven’t received anything. Life is very difficult. I survive by working as a seamstress. My father catches fish for us to eat. In fact, most of what we eat is from our own house – we grow coconuts too. If I die, there will be no one to look after the children.

People say things when I go for meetings with the local NGO. I don’t care. I need their support.

My husband has a house. He has lands. If he will promise to support us, I will grant him a divorce."

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An unspoken of narrative is the plight of the Sinhalese minority families. Often, their stories were forgotten and they received little aid rebuilding their lives with difficulty.

I built this shop with no help from the Government, with my own two hands. I now work here six days a week. In addition, I head several local societies, including the women’s society. I want a better life for my children.

Many donors only help the Tamil people. That hurts us. We don’t blame our Tamil neighbours, as we know it is the fault of the donors. But everyone should receive aid equally. Nearby, there was a CARITAS project where 29 houses were given out. Not even one Sinhalese family got aid. In another housing scheme, just 8 houses out of 50 were given to Sinhalese.

Alcoholism and drugs are a problem, particularly among the youth as they can’t find jobs. The poorest families have to stop their children's education. There have been cases of abuse and teen pregnancy too.

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