Brian's Last Musical began life as a theatrical production called The Last Ever Musical, which had it's workshop presentation on 15 April, 2013 in East London. Following the success of the workshop the show went on to have a four-week run at London's White Bear Theatre, from Tuesday 13 August to Saturday 7 September, 2013.
The original story outline: Brian Wilts, a small-time London based theatre producer, has spent his entire working life scheming, dealing, begging and borrowing, sweet-talking, manipulating and schmoozing, pampering, massaging egos, promising ‘the world’, and skating on financial, ethical and moral thin-ice, suddenly has a rude-awakening one morning when he finds himself facing his own judgement day. The opening night of a £95,000.00 theatrical commission from The Femlette Feminine Hygiene Corporation is fast approaching, Brian is up the proverbial creek without a paddle as, despite positive assurances to his backers, there isn’t in fact a show, he’s spent a large chunk of the advance on making his other loss-making productions happen, coupled with the maintenance of his hedonistic life-style. Added to which the theatre owners, themselves are under pressure to come up with a hit after a string of disastrous failures, are now insisting that the show, an exploration of ‘woman in today’s society’, be made more ‘up-beat’ than Brian’s original proposal, by turning it into ‘The Life and Death of a Tampon’, an all singing and dancing mainstream musical… Can Brian utilise his eclectic skills to rise to the challenge, or will his fragile house of cards come crashing down around him, making this his theatrical swan-song!
Reviews: The reception to the original production absolutely divided both audiences and critics... ruffling a few feathers was the intention of the writers, which they succeeded in doing.
One Stop Arts ★★★★ 'Bonkers, tuneful, satirical, and very British, this captivating and frequently hilarious show by Richard Bates and Simon James Collier is ostensibly about the launch of a gritty, visceral, boundary-pushing new musical called The Life and Death of a Tampon but is actually, and surprisingly, mapping out the spiritual journey of its protagonist.' 'The talented cast sing and dance extremely well and are totally clued-in as to the deeper import of the story. The clever choreography is by Omar F. Okai, assisted by Stacey Victoria Bland. Ms Bland, wickedly channeling Julie Harris and sending up method-acting something rotten, plays Lovelace Lewis, the ditzy, new-agey director of the new show – designed to take London and Broadway by storm. And the awful thing is, we are persuaded that it's not at all implausible.' 'Leejay Townsend has several hilarious moments as Roxand Smarts, the camp director of the ground-breaking new show, and the show itself has a few suitably cringe-making but ridiculously funny songs... Each member of the cast has their moment, or moments. Some of these occur in the very funny auditions scenes, where Rick Tolley auditions with a song called "The Last Twenty Three Minutes". You have to warm to a show with songs like that and another called, improbably, "Once I was a Scientist". Jeroen Robben almost stops the show with his "Justin's Last Stand". Lauren Harvey sings a panic-stricken "The Five Minute Call" and Emma Kurij, channeling another Julie – Julie Walters – displays a natural comic gift and a powerful singing voice as Marlene Haggis. Simon James Collier, who wrote the book and directs, keeps things moving at a nifty pace. The sparkly Eurovision-like set is by David Shields and the appropriately garish lighting is by Ciaran Cunningham. The Last Ever Musical will not be to everyone's taste. It is totally bonkers, very camp, however serious the underlying theme, and, despite its professionalism, seems as if the cast are making itup as they go along. For me, this is part of its charm. It's like we are sharing in someone's very bad and unhealthy dream, full of mad twists and turns and very sharp one-liners. I can see it doing very well at the Edinburgh Festival and in Off Broadway and being, for many, a most guilty pleasure.'
The British Theatre Guide: 'You are unlikely to encounter anything stranger than a depressed producer singing a love song to a sanitary accessory (that must be nightmare surely, along with his other visiting phantoms) but Richard Bates has come up with some attractive numbers and some clever lyrics. With Jonathan Barnes as Wilts, Emma Kurij as Marlene, the stage manager who ends up in the lead, Rick Tolley as sexually predatory Ben and Lauren Harvey and Jeroen Robben as a couple of engaging hoofers, this is a company that captures works together to transmit that show business enthusiasm whatever the obstacles helped by Omar F Okai’s spirited choreography, including a sparkly show-off solo for Robben and a sequence that encapsulates in just a few bars the company’s complex erotic entanglements. When needed there are some glitzy costumes by David Shields against a simple but shiny setting, with Ciaran Cunningham’s careful lighting among the best I have seen in this venue; like Collier’s direction they keep things simple and concentrate attention on the actors. The Last Ever Musical sets out primarily to amuse but behind some of the frothiest fun lie some home truths. I do hope that character Brian Wilts’s decision to make this his last production don’t apply to Simon James Collier for that would be a serious loss to London’s theatre.'
What's On In London: '[If] ...your world is musical theatre, then this is absolutely the show for you. Every performing arts student will baulk at the cringe-worthy drama workshop characterising tampons (cue a cacophony of self-indulgent snickers). The film ‘Something’s Gotta Give’ centres on a play we never see, though the storyline is besotted with the characters that bring it into being. Here, the subject matter is so apart from everyday experience that making a connection is difficult. And yet! Life IS a show – “all the men and women merely players…” as the Bard reminds us. One of the loveliest and funniest numbers ‘It’s Not You’ resonates as a moment of personal reflection. Later in Act Two comes ‘The Five Minute Call’ – “and I’m not ready” – the life of an actor beginning to mirror our own, and beautifully vocalised by Lauren Harvey. The human drama continues to warm-up in the second act, a fuller picture coming into view if somewhat dissipating in the crossover with the play within-a-play. Simon James Collier is a skilled writer and director. The second half commences with memorable scenes parodying not theatre production per se but Ingmar Bergman and Gilbert and Sullivan, in the literal frame of a producer’s nightmare. Good stuff. Laughing at failure is a guilty pleasure that always hits the mark.'
Following the success of their previous audio drama / musicals [Spooky Noises and Countess & Cabbages], Bates and Collier re-visited the piece in 2019 and developed The Last Ever Musical into Brian's Last Musical, focusing the attention on the tragic producer 'Brian' and the trials and tribulations of what it takes to make a London Fringe musical happen. This time though he has to deal with The Clean-net Corporation and it's sponsorship of £13,000.00, which includes the product placement of 'Zap-ette', an anti-bacterial toilet cleaner, which they insist be inserted into a musical re-working of the story of Queen Elizabeth the 1st and Mary Queen of Scots, called 'Women in a Crunch'. The piece will be recorded at Mountview Academy of Theatre Arts, London, in 2021, and presented as 8 x 20 minute episodes.
Credits:
Photo credit: Michael Brydon