Photo used with permission of Hannah Maryam
The One - By Neysa Singh
Whenever anyone asks me who my best friend is, it’s easy for me to give them an answer — Hannah Maryam. Of course, there’s only one person I trust and confide in above everyone else, and I realize that this can be a difficult concept for some people to grasp. The idea of having only one person, only one confidant, can be daunting. If you take away that one person, you’re left with no one.
For as long as I can remember, I have never been the most open person, but I take comfort in knowing that I can always talk to my best friend. I know that I can trust her judgement, and truly value her opinion when it comes to my problems. Of course, I wasn’t always like this – there was a time when I tried the multiple best friend thing, which always led to hurt feelings. My life suddenly became everyone’s business, and they all felt the need to give me their opinion. After a while, my secrets just became a part of everyday gossip floating around. Since then, I’ve always been wary of sharing my feelings with too many other people. That’s not to say I’ve cut off all my other friends, but I leave the issues closer to my heart for just my best friend.
My preference for having only one best friend doesn't just stem from my fear of betrayal. However you look at it, being a person’s best friend, while it is a gift, is also a burden. Your problems become their problems, and your life becomes closely intertwined with theirs. You become heavily invested in their feelings and their future.
It’s natural to want to surround yourself with a lot of people, and there can be a societal pressure to have a lot of friends, but when it comes to friendship, quality is more important than quantity. It’s better to have a best friend that you know that you can rely on, rather than having multiple who aren’t completely invested in you.
I’ve always believed that for any relationship to be healthy, an individual must receive as much as they give. For this reason, I often find it hard to achieve the perfect balance in my relationships. Since I am quite guarded with my feelings and unable to open up to others, I find myself thoroughly surprised when my friends spill out their secrets to me, completely disregarding their privacy. Mostly I just listen, and every so often, offer my advice.
I guess when it comes down to it, having one best friend versus having multiple really just depends on how comfortable you are sharing your life with other people, which can be risky, as well as time consuming. All I know is I’m extremely lucky to have found someone that I trust enough to call my best friend.
The Ones - By Oishee Misra
When I was younger, I saw the world in black and white (metaphorically). At school, we were asked to pick a favorite color, favorite food, favorite subject, favorite number — you name it. It was only natural that we picked our favorite person too and labelled them our “best friend.”
Now, as little kids, this was understandable. When it comes to high school and beyond, however, I find the concept of calling a singular entity a “best friend” to be confusing and just plain weird. I can understand friends, close friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, but best friends? It has always seemed like this ambiguous yet overtly exclusive label to me, where one of your friends is selected and labelled better than the rest.
You need a village. Having a singular best friend makes you heavily reliant on one person, and it isn’t possible for them to be there every single time you need them. Especially at a place like MVHS, where the academic stress and social pressures mount up — often bordering on and exceeding toxic — it is helpful to have more than one person to catch you when you fall.
Each individual only has one personality — it is hard for one person to act as the supportive friend, the strict friend, the optimistic friend and the relatable friend all at once. One person simply can’t fill all the roles. Issues, whether it’s an opinion about an outfit or a moral dilemma, are often better resolved when you have more than one person to consult. Conferring with multiple best friends allows for multiple insights and ultimately leads to a better decision (or maybe you’ll end up in an outfit that doesn’t even make sense — but I try to be optimistic).
High school is a platform for change — a chance to find yourself, to discover your secrets, to experience failures, setbacks and to live through four awful yet simultaneously wonderful years. Having been through half of my high school career already, I’ve realized that I would rather experience these years with multiple best friends.
I want stable and supportive relationships, but I also want to give my relationships room to evolve. Sometimes two people are just too different, and sometimes a new person you meet clicks with you a little better. I would rather anticipate changes than let myself be confined to a bubble of people who have always been in my life.
Maybe I feel this way because I’m an introvert and tend to keep a lot to myself. Maybe I’ve never found the right person. But maybe for me, a best friend is the unique, crazy, smart, sweet, supportive and hilarious combination of some of the wonderful friendships I have.