As the winter progresses, it seems like everyone at Staples knows exactly what college or university they will be attending next year. Chatting up potential roommates in social media groups for accepted students, ordering their favorite pieces of logo wear and finally relaxing after four years of stressing over tests, projects and exams. The stress that Staples students are under in terms of post-graduation plans may seem normal, but, to me, the elaborate college process is just too much.

Talking with freshman and sophomores, I can’t count how many times I’ve heard them say “I’m meeting with a college counselor today” or “Yeah, all my parents want is for me to go to an Ivy.” Plenty of my friends grew up berated by parents who attended the most elite universities in the country, and seemingly brainwashed their kids into thinking the only college that exists is their own. My problem isn’t with kids who decide that they also love the school their parent loved. My issue is with parents who bring their kids up thinking that they will be a disappointment if they don’t continue the family legacy.

With all this pressure, the lengths students go to in order to get good grades can be… extreme. Of course, students with learning difficulties should be accommodated with the resources school offers, such as 504 plans and extra time on tests. But there are plenty of students who take advantage of those very resources, exploiting them when they have no legitimate reason to be granted those advantages, just to boost standardized test scores. In towns like Westport, affluent people are connected and can make this happen for themselves, but for those who can’t afford this, it’s a pretty discouraging thing to see happen.

As for tutoring, there’s nothing wrong with getting academic support. We just have to recognize that not everyone has access to that kind of help, either. The same goes for standardized testing prep classes and the role of legacy in college admissions. At the same time, though, this is taken into account at admissions offices. Most colleges I applied to made clear that students are assessed in the context of their academic environment, so the resources students have access to are taken into consideration by admissions counselors.

Finally, there’s the issue of selecting which school to attend. The guidance counselors at Staples will tell you to apply to some reach schools, some target schools and a couple of safeties. But, from my observations, when kids get into the most prestigious school they applied too, they too often select it because of the name value. They want to be able to say they go to an Ivy, or some other school with an uber low acceptance rate. I can’t imagine basing my future on statistics like that. I want to end up where I’m happy, even if, on paper, that’s a safety. But that’s just me.