By Nia Akins
Dear Freshman Year Self,
In high school, you started running because it was thrilling; it took you to new places and gave you friends for life. When you first began to stand out, you developed the stereotypical dream of wanting to become a state champion in your favored event: the 800m run. By the time the state championship came around, you couldn’t pull it off.
You will enter college humbly with a renewed love for track and the people it introduced you to. As you improve, you will feel emotionally and physically ready to pursue another crazy, stereotypical pipe dream:
to win an NCAA title.
That won’t happen either, and this time it hurt more because at the last possible second, our dream was gone.
It’s senior year now, and from the start I was encouraged and supported endlessly. The well-wishes went something like “there’s no reason that senior year won’t be bigger and better,” “everyone’s just waiting to see what you can do next,” and “unless something crazy happens, nothing can get in your way.”
Well, something crazy happened: a global pandemic.
The second semester of my senior year slipped away. As nursing students, they teach us to validate, comfort, and support our patients when they are grappling bad news. Today, everyone is a patient with bad news, including myself. For me, the spring of my senior year looked something like this:
- Ivy League spring sports—canceled.
- Classes—online.
- NCAA indoor championships—canceled.
- NCAA spring sports—canceled.
- Commencement—online.
- Penn Relays—canceled.
- Olympics—postponed.
Today, I am the most fit, strong, and confident version of myself, and not having an opportunity to prove that is heartbreaking. Athletics aside, there were other memories and celebrations to look forward to that are also gone. Yes, this stings, especially since there’s no clear sign of when this will end.
While I’ve been in quarantine, I made a list of my top memories here. Surprisingly, my fondest memories didn’t make a headline or break a record; I found myself smiling and laughing as I wrote many of them down. They were simply good moments surrounded by good people. I couldn’t tell you what exact race or the time I ran, but I could go into detail about how fun the bus rides were to and from track meets, or about team gatherings and meals, nights sitting on my porch with friends, laughing at the mayhem of nursing simulations, and so many other silly moments. Staring at my list, I realize that there’s no reason to be angry or resentful because when the curtain fell and the opportunities dissipated; the memories of my time at Penn are not colored any differently.
The next three and a half years, you will spend a lot of time chasing records, titles, championships and even time itself. I am excited for you, and hope you appreciate the memories intertwined with the chase. I hope you can focus on enjoying the moment instead of counting the days or watching the clock. If there is one constant, it is time’s ability to run incessantly, with or without you.
Work hard, enjoy whatever the present moment contains, and wear the stripes with pride.
See you later,