Their backgrounds reflect a common trend throughout history of the Chinese being successful merchants and traders who viewed themselves as “hardworking and frugal” (Chu 19), while the Filipinos were viewed as common laborers, less capable (Larkin 617), and lazy (Chu 19). This inherent bias can be traced two centuries back to the Spanish rule, in which the Chinese were forced to pay taxes twice as high as the Filipinos; although this was discrimination against the Chinese, the reason for their higher taxes was based on the assumption that Filipinos were less successful and made less money (Halili 98). This law established two precedents; the first was the use of laws to discriminate against the Chinese community, and the second was the idea that most Filipinos were incapable of being as successful as the Chinese. Both of these caused dramatic changes in society such as the increased communalism of the Chinese in response to discriminatory attacks and the belief that the Chinese may be inherently superior to Filipinos (McFerson 55). These ideas persisted and may have been adopted by my grandfather, which ultimately culminated in his disapproval of my father because he was viewed as an unsuitable provider (Mungcal, Noel). Following these instances in Filipino history, the utilization of laws to create new or to enhance existing social attitudes became a common and powerful practice.

My mother and father’s relationship would have been considered relatively unorthodox in the eyes of the Chinese community. Throughout Filipino history, the relationships between the Chinese and Filipinos were molded in accordance with the social norms and laws of the ruling party. During the Spanish-ruled era of Filipino history, marriages and unions between the Chinese and Filipinos were common; however, the accepted norm was that Chinese men could marry Filipino women (Chu 14). This reality existed primarily because of the belief that the woman should adopt the culture of her husband, and few Chinese condoned the sacrifice of their cultural tradition (Chu 30). Overall, these intermarriages solidified the racial precedent that my parents’ relationship would directly oppose. As time went on, Filipino society was further altered in response to the shifts in the governing bodies. During the United States’ rule over the Philippines, the government enacted policies that created large incentives for Filipino women to refrain from marrying Chinese men (Chu 305). The American government implemented laws that forced Filipino women to forfeit their Philippine citizenship and its associated benefits—like the right to own property—if she were to marry a non-citizen, Chinese man (Chu 333). The effects of these citizenship laws were further exacerbated by the Chinese Exclusion Act, which prevented Chinese who were not already Filipino citizens from becoming naturalized (Chu 335). This effectively reduced the number of Chinese men that Filipino women could marry while retaining their citizenship, which further decreased the appeal of intermarrying (Chu 335). These governmental actions functioned as a guide for the development of society in the Philippines, and the anti-Chinese and interracial marriage attitudes underlying these laws remained firmly ingrained decades after they were repealed. All of these factors meant that separation of these two groups was the norm when my grandfather’s family first immigrated to the Philippines, which reinforced his views against interracial relationships between the Chinese and Filipino populations, specifically Chinese women and Filipino men.

My mother grew up in a drastically different Philippines than her own parents. In school my mother was exposed not only to Filipino culture and tradition, but also to western ideas and values like founding a relationship on love (Mungcal, Luna). For this reason, she saw no issues with being in a relationship with my father; however, she was later warned that my grandfather would not approve of the relationship (Mungcal, Luna). My grandparents were raised to view marriage as a duty and something out of their control, due to the practice of arranged marriages (Ngotiaoco). More significantly, they considered love to be a bonus in a relationship and not its foundation (Ngotiaoco). In addition to his attitudes on marriage and love, my grandfather aligned himself with more traditional Chinese views. This may have largely been due to the time in which he grew up and his stronger ties to the Chinese mainland.

During the 1930s, ten years after my great-great-grandparents first immigrated to the Philippines, there was a distinct rise in Chinese nationalism in the Philippines (Chu 338). My grandfather, a second-generation immigrant, was born in 1936 and grew up in an environment that heavily promoted one’s Chinese identity and participation in Chinese culture. This loyalty to tradition was enhanced by the increase in Chinese nationalist propaganda. Messages preaching that interracial marriages were “a threat to the existence of the Chinese community by racial dilution and acculturation,” resulted to the further isolation of the Chinese community and encouraged claims of superiority (Chu 338). My grandfather grew up bombarded with messages of segregation and superiority that influenced his attitudes and adherence to traditional values, and for these reasons, he perceived my mother’s relationship as betrayal of himself and the Chinese community. In my grandfather’s eyes, if my mother changed her last name to a non-Chinese name, she would then adopt the non-Chinese culture and traditions of her husband (Mungcal, Luna). My grandfather and many others from his generation were focused intently on retaining one’s Chinese identity, particularly through one’s last name, and could not reconcile the idea that a woman’s identity could remain unaltered if she changed her own name.

Following this initial conflict, my mother and father continued to see each other in secret for seven more years (Mungcal, Luna). In their eighth year of being together my father returned to my mother’s home and formally asked my grandfather for his blessing to marry her (Mungcal, Luna). My grandfather was shocked that the relationship had not ended already and remained unshaken in his views (Mungcal, Luna). He saw the continuation of their relationship as a disgrace, and he refused to speak to my mother and father or to acknowledge their relationship (Mungcal, Luna).

At my parent’s wedding in California, my mother’s grandmother and uncle, who both lived in New York, were the ones to walk her down the aisle because her mother, who was in the Philippines, did not want to bring bad luck on the wedding by further upsetting my grandfather (Mungcal, Luna).