I was often made fun of for “talking proper” and for my lighter skinned complexion. To this day, many of my friends call me a myriad of names including white girl, light bright, and claim that I don’t have a “black card".
In America, they say that if you work hard enough your dreams will come true. That statement, while not completely inaccurate, doesn’t account for access to extracurricular education and activities which can cause some dreams to be harder to attain. Many of our outcomes in life are initiated by small pivotal changes that may seem miniscule at the time, however those changes can shape where we land both positively and negatively. In a study on positive youth development in over 500 elementary students it states that participation in positive out-of-school activities is key to continuing involvement in developmental opportunities during adolescence while programs that are culturally grounded, with a focus on social skills and character development enhance identity, socio-emotional skills, and reduce delinquency and aggression (Child Development, 2017).
For me, I was fortunate enough to have an upbringing that was enriched with diverse programs, education, and positive influences. This allowed me to see adults and youth who looked like me in positions of influence and accomplishment. To give you some background, I grew up in the tiny college town of Newark, Delaware in the back of a small suburban neighborhood called Newark Oakes. Growing up in Newark Oakes I was surrounded by a close-knit community that consisted of families from various ethnicities and backgrounds. All of the parents knew each other on a first-name basis, the kids played together, and nobody judged each other regardless of our contrasting lifestyles. My group of friends ranged from a set of Caucasian Jehovah's Witness twins, a girl of Indian descent, a group of Christian African-American girls, and a fun-loving Caucasian double amputee that lived down the street. Growing up around such varying backgrounds, I gained the perspective of how exposure to diversity can bridge cross-cultural differences and create a more inclusive environment for all involved.
For most children, school is where you learn to manage relationships and forge your first friendships. Unfortunately, building friendships can be challenging for children who may look different than their peers because by the time children reach school they may already have competing thoughts due to implicit biases stemming from their home life.
Although my neighborhood life was very diverse, my school experience was quite the opposite which caused some confusion in my early years as I didn’t truly identify with any one group of people. I attended a predominantly white elementary school, Maclary Elementary, that was one of the top schools in Delaware due to its small student population and many special programs for the "gifted" students. I didn’t learn until later in life that my parent’s chose the school to teach me to navigate around White people and for the opportunity of a quality education. Black parents sometimes have to choose between sending their children to a school with more resources that may lack racial diversity in which their child may experience additional social burdens or to a more comparable environment to their home life. At Maclary I blossomed academically and was a student in "gifted" classes. I never identified as Black at Maclary because I thought I was just a regular student like everyone else.
After an incident on the bus where one of my classmates called me a "burnt cookie", my mom had to explain to me what it meant and why I was singled out, but as a child who didn't identify as Black it didn’t make sense. I was being pulled in many different directions growing up and it took me a while to figure out where and if I fit in. I’ve since learned that representation matters for Black youth and adults, when individuals can strongly identify with their culture there are significant increases in their self-esteem, identity development, and motivation.
Due to school choice in Delaware, my parents allowed me to pick my school for fifth and sixth grade. My parents allowed me to make decisions about my life early on, which gave me a sense of independence and pride in my academics. I chose Bayard Intermediate School since it was the only school that offered a program for "gifted" students called Excel and it had alternative recess options where you could tutor a younger student or learn a language. This school was located in the city and required me to change from a predominantly white daycare to Girls Inc. which had many kids from my surrounding neighborhoods. Girls Inc. had a multitude of races and cultures, however it was a culture shock to me because I had never been around that many Black or Hispanic kids my age outside of sports.
I was often made fun of for “talking proper” and for my lighter skinned complexion. To this day, many of my friends call me a myriad of names including white girl, light bright, and claim that I don’t have a “black card”. Colorism is a worldwide phenomenon, however within the Black community your skin tone is one of the first impressions we take into account that comes with many preconceived assumptions dating back to slavery and the brown paper bag test used in the 1900s to “pass” as white or black. My experiences at Bayard and Girls Inc. taught me to ignore the criticisms and find people who wouldn't judge me for things I couldn't control. Growing up Black in America you have to learn how to deal with prejudices at an early age, mostly in real time and it is extremely important to surround yourself with positive people and culturally enriched activities.
I believe our communities would benefit from a reinvestment of its stakeholders to uplift the youth and young adults. Having mentors and role models that the Black youth can aspire to be in careers other than sports or entertainment can cause a ripple effect from their lives to their families. I will be forever grateful for how sports allowed me to forget many of the issues at school and better myself physically, emotionally, and mentally through friendships and acceptance into a family-like community that had one common goal. There were many other endeavors that led me to my current path and truly changed the trajectory of my life. Without the consistent positive embrace in other aspects of my life it would have been an uphill battle to overcome some of the criticisms I faced. Below are some of the organizations and activities that provided mentors, lifelong friends, and diverse environments with many of them still available today. My hope is that my story will inspire those to reassess the value of empowering today’s youth.
Sports:
• Delaware Diamonds AAU Track Team: increased my pride in academic achievement when I was selected at the annual awards banquet to speak alongside Jackie-Joyner Kersee. Competed at Nationals in Knoxville, TN and Des Moines, IA.
• Delaware Sharpshooters AAU Basketball: traveled to Florida to compete at the national level at ESPN Wide World of Sports, where I would later become a Disney Intern.
• National Youth Sports Program (NYSP): low-income based summer program at colleges and universities. Combines sports instruction with the teaching of vital life skills, such as personal health, job responsibilities, nutrition, alcohol and other-drug prevention activities.
• High School Sports: Cross-Country, Basketball, and Track & Field kept me active throughout the year, completed community service and was team captain from Sophomore-Senior years which helped me develop as a leader.
Cultural Enrichment:
• Brothers and Sisters Student Union: many high schools have clubs geared towards minorities, I was the public relations officer and secretary for our organization which held an annual Black History Month Dinner, International Day, and other events. We also were conflict mediators for students prior to being suspended.
• Girls Inc./Boys & Girls Club: provides quality programming for all ages and exposure in a diverse environment. I learned etiquette lessons, leadership skills, and attended an annual black tie luncheon which was my first trip to NYC.
• Delta Sigma Theta Jabberwock: 7-8 month commitment features workshops, cultural outings, community service, and personal enrichment activities for 11-12th grade girls. Ends with a formal pageant, talent exhibition, and scholarship winners based on the winner’s overall impact in the community.
Educational Organizations:
• Business Professionals of America: showed me how to run a school store, and holds competitions and conventions in middle school & high school.
• Forum to Advance Minorities in Engineering (FAME Inc.): summer program for exposure to STEM in K-12.
• Spelling Bees & Oratorical Contests: motivated and empowered me to go above and beyond my school homework load and learn the power of my voice.
According to a study done on 4-H, one of the largest youth organizations in America, the 6 C’s that encompass positive youth development are competence, confidence, caring, connection, character, and contribution (The Journal of Early Adolescence, 2005). Without those aspects of development in my life, especially by those who identify as Black, I can 100% say that I would not be as successful as I am today. I am grateful to the Center for Sport Leadership for taking this initiative head on to address the racial discrepancies in our nation and using their platform to share our stories. If you don’t take anything away from my story, please understand that the lack of opportunities for Black youth has a generational impact and the saying “it takes a village to raise a child” has to be more than a saying, it is a call to action to pour into ALL of our youth during the most formative years of their lives. We need more leaders, especially in the Black community, to stand up for the children to provide engaging cross-cultural interactions that allow for identity development so they aren’t stuck with the question of “where do I fit in?”.
