It All Begins with Imagination!
"Logic will get you from point A to point B. Imagination will take you everywhere." --Albert Einstein
At school we provide an environment that sparks the imagination, not only through our physical space and supplies but also through the creativity and openness of the teachers. This is the life of a preschooler: barefoot in the sand and puddles, experimenting with various materials and enjoying the sensations that come with it!
“One of the tasks of true friendship is to listen compassionately and creatively to the hidden silences. Often secrets are not revealed in words, they lie concealed in the silence between the words or in the depth of what is unsayable between two people.” -- John O'Donohue
This quote is from poet John O'Donohue and is reminiscent of the work we do at Peter's Place. In the beginning of the school year, our youngest children do not have many words. Teachers listen attentively to the body language of children and narrate this aloud so children can hear and interpret what is happening in the classroom. For example, three children are playing "bears" in the pillow pit. There are few, if any, words, just grunting and growling, eye contact and what we like to call social listening. The children at this time are taking in each other's visual cues.
Dr. Albert Mehrabian, author of Silent Messages, found that most of human communication is non verbal. So while we help children to find their words, we are also directing them to read social cues by looking at the faces and body language of others. A great thing to do with your child when you are out and about (or looking at picture books) is to notice facial expressions on people, verbalize them and wonder aloud. "Oh, look at that man. His mouth is curving up and smiling. He looks happy. I wonder why he's happy today." Then listen to your child. Allow for silence.
Enjoying a Shared Space
At first, many young children view their peers not as potential friends, but more as obstacles to their play. Another child may suddenly try to take the toy they are using. It takes time, sometimes a few years of preschool, to learn that playing with a friend is more fun than having the toy you want. We are all social beings on a continuum. Some children (and adults) will prefer to spend most of their time with friends, others may prefer longer periods of solitary play or time with only a couple of other people nearby. Helping to develop a budding interest in others is the most important thing we do. These are precious moments we are blessed to be privy to in the lives of preschoolers.
SHARING: At this age less isn't more, MORE is MORE! We find that children need to have a LOT before they can authentically want to share. We try to allow space for this by having lots of materials for everyone. We find that eventually, the desire for companionship outweighs the need to have it all. When this happens, children share of their own volition, not in order to get adult approval and not because they were forced. True generosity comes from the heart and is lasting. Sharing happens because it feels good to be part of a caring community.
Talking About Feelings and Problem Solving
Teachers at Peter's Place are very attuned to the emotions of the children and take an active role in fostering conflict resolution and developing emotional intelligence. When children have differing views (usually about sharing, or roles in a game), it is time to get our problem solving chart which lists the steps that facilitate effective communication. This visual aid helps children immensely and helps calm them, knowing this tool will lead to a fair solution they create and agree upon themselves.
SOCIAL STORIES: Teachers often re-enact social conflicts that have happened in the classroom using monkey puppets. By watching a conflict happen to the stuffed animals, the children can experience and work through common issues together without being put on the spot, and when they are not in the heat of the moment. Later, the children are given turns to suggest and solve their own "monkey problems" in a puppet show at circle time. By retelling social stories and repeatedly using the problem solving chart, the children begin to internalize these skills. These techniques work for adults, too! After school, you can ask your child, "Did anyone use the problem solving chart today?" and you might get a good story!
Facilitated Play
That first friend is like your first love; it can be very intense and some children may feel quite possessive of that other child. Playing with more than one friend is also very difficult at first. It takes more listening to others and waiting when you have a larger group. No one wants to get left out and young children may attempt to leave someone else out in order to minimize that risk. Teachers take the time to notice and support children who need help playing with many, in order to facilitate inclusion and a positive group experience.
THE GAME BINDER: Another way to assist young children in their cooperative play is by writing down all the fun games they make up throughout the year. When children come up with an exciting new game, we write down the rules or story and put it in our special Game Binder, which Helena created. Then, on a day when children have difficulty coming up with a game idea, we refer back to it and revisit those old games.
Teachers and children draw pictures to describe the game. This process helps the children to remember the fun they had so they can play the game again the next day. When children repeat these games, as you might remember from your own childhood, they evolve and change and become even more layered. The binder also helps the child who might initially have difficulty joining a game, because s/he can learn the "rules" easily with visual cues. We save all of the games, even the ones from previous classes and put them to use when children need a fresh idea. They love to hear about games other children have played, see the drawings from years past, and try them out.
Separation
It's a milestone. The journey has begun. All children respond differently to the first days and weeks of school. Parents may be witnessing tears or exuberance (or both!). Regardless of how s/he gets through it, each child is experiencing the feeling of being courageous! They are all trying new activities, trusting new adults, and most of all having that rush that comes along with a newfound sense of independence.
At school independence can mean doing your very own artwork, deciding when to go outside, finding your shoes, getting your own cup of water, or helping someone else get one! And even when children are not doing it all by themselves, asking for help from a teacher is another brave step.
At the start of the school year, many of the children are entering our school for the first time, while others are returning to a slightly different structure and group of children. We always have a child's limited perspective in mind when addressing separation anxiety. The world of the young child is egocentric and emotional. Children are still learning that something still exists when it cannot be seen anymore. Toddlers love the game of peekaboo because they are learning that those disappearances aren't real, but the anxiety of a young preschooler whose parent has left him or her at school can feel very real ("But where is mommy now? When will she come back for me??").
Each child will experience the transition to Peter's Place in his or her own way. There is a confusing mixture of emotions going on for children, from sadness and worry about saying goodbye for the first (or 100th) time, to excitement at being able to play with new children and new toys. We try to validate and support each child wherever they are, and help them to recognize and move through the complicated feelings they are experiencing without rushing them.
Writing notes to our families about saying goodbye can help children understand that we have heard and empathize with what they are telling us. Having the words down on paper can help children know that even if they have fun at school, that does not minimize how they felt at drop-off! Our front window to the outside can also help us to have that last goodbye wave or kiss before we can start our day.
While at school, familiar activities and repetition can help make the transition into school a little smoother for the new children. During our home visits, we will often ask children what they like to play with or what books they like to read. That way, we can have them available in the classroom during the first weeks of school to bridge that home-school connection. We will often read the same stories and sing the same songs at circle to help bring some predictability to the new environment.
Learning to Write: It Starts in the Sandbox!
That's right! Learning to write does not just begin with paper and crayons, but also with shovels, sand, and monkey bars! In order to develop control over the fine muscles of the hand (necessary for drawing and writing later), large muscle groups must strengthen and coordinate with the brain first. This is best done by practicing big movements with the whole body, like throwing, jumping, crawling, climbing, running, swinging, pulling, pushing and lifting. We are building up that essential foundation!
SENSORIMOTOR PLAY: Sifting through sand or some other material to find treasures is a fantastic way to entice even the most reticent child to dig into a messy activity. Why do we want them to get messy? Research shows that this type of sensory play builds and strengthens nerve connections in the brain’s pathways, which along with active play bolsters the child’s ability to complete more complex learning tasks.
Peter's Place can get messy, on purpose! Melting ice with salt, swirling colors on shaving cream, making flubber out of glue, painting, mucking about in the mud in both rain and sun, adding water to clay... we do all these things, as often as possible. The children are scientists experimenting with the physical qualities of many different substances, making guesses about what the materials are, where they come from, and how they will behave when touched, squeezed, dripped and splashed.
Their senses are being delighted in every way, although the depth and frequency of the interactions will depend on each child's growing tolerance for damp shirtsleeves and grainy, sticky fingers. Interestingly, the children who avoid these sensations early on are sometimes the most enthusiastic later, when others have had their fill.
Meaningful Work
Doing the dishes is a menial task for us. But for a young child, this is an opportunity to feel useful (and warm, soapy water is an inviting sensory experience too). In many ways, children in our culture are given things to keep them busy or distracted so that adults can get on with their own more "important" work. But children really want and need for us to let them be involved in meaningful ways. When they are young and eager to be with us is also a better, easier time to establish the habit of pitching in to get things done, rather than when they are older and expect that they shouldn't have to help!
Setting the table, sweeping the floor, putting away toys, washing dishes, dusting, straightening beds, hanging or putting away laundry... all these tasks help a child to feel a sense of belonging and enhance authentic self esteem. Find ways to involve your child in what you are doing. Even though their "help" may not feel very helpful early on, it is an opportunity for richer connection. Children will be able to complete tasks more efficiently later, and then can feel proud of their progress.
Below children are decorating the classroom to get ready for a party. This is a great incentive to learn how to use tape and scissors. Standing on a chair to reach the "ceiling" also feels very grown up and important. It's a party for our stuffed animals AND our graduation party too!
Children want to know that they are an integral part of their families and larger communities (school, neighborhood). This is part of our nature as humans, to desire belonging and to feel needed. We see a lot of negative behaviors when this need to belong in a purposeful way is not fulfilled. We ask ourselves. "What are we missing that this child needs?"
There are many ways we can find for young children to be involved with adults in meaningful ways. As opposed to viewing children as 'needing to be entertained' or not capable of doing things they way we would do them, we try to see children as important members of our community who have value to contribute. For instance, our plants usually enjoy a good watering from our hard working T TH friends. There is a sense of pride one feels in knowing s/he has played an essential role in taking care of the environment we all share.
Cooking with children is another wonderful way to include children in an important activity that serves the group. The experience of handling the ingredients can be sensory oriented, and this project comes with tasty results! Also, many children who are notoriously picky eaters are often more willing to taste something that they helped to prepare.
Surrender to the Moment
The demands of modern life in our technologically-oriented society are such that much of our attention is dispersed like water in a lawn sprinkler. Many parents of young children are struggling to balance their own needs with the needs and desires of their child or children, and there are only so many hours in the day. We have found that the best way to be an effective adult in a young child's experience, to mindfully respond when things go awry or feel hard (other than to try to get a good night's sleep!), is to surrender to the moment.
That simple shift of surrendering to the moment and the mystery whenever possible, and treating time more like your child does (in other words, as not very important), brings eons of peace, connection and revelation. Try to meet conflict with compassion, recognize family as a catalyst for personal growth, react less, connect more, find humor, love and ease in the midst of mayhem. Life is actually quite funny when you make the time to look at it.