There is so much to say...

There is just so much to say, and I don't know where to start. So first off who I am, well I'm not going to mention my name, but I am a first year college student. I'm just finishing my exams and I'm moving home for the summer. I'm lucky that my home is only 1 hour away from the college i attend. this year its been rocky, from loosing really good friends to making new ones, and having a better relationship with myself. 2 years ago, me and my ex boyfriend broke up and it was a hard time, it wasn't the best relationship there could be, but it was also my first relationship so it was hard. I ended up taking my ex back 3 times after he cheated on me with a girl who i thought was my friend. Anyways i'm better off without him and i wish i had listened to my parents when they told me he wasn't good for me, anyways college had changed me, for the good. Just recently, I met the man of my dreams, it was through Tinder, but he's not just another guy you match with and hook up with. We were talking for a while and he was so sweet to me. i was going through a hard time last month when my dad was in the hospital for a week and i didn't know what to do, I haven't really thought about that situation before, you can never prepare yourself for a loved one being in the hospital. But through it all this guy was by my side and texting me, making me feel comfortable and helping me cope with this situation. i struggle with anxiety, but when i talk to this person and am with him it all goes away. i feel alive and that i have nothing to worry about. He makes me feel like there is nothing to worry about. He reminds me that i am beautiful, and reassures me that i will conquer the day and it will have a great outcome. ive never had this before, i thought it was to good to be true, at first because i met him on tinder i thought that he was just trying to sleep with me. i kept putting off meeting until i felt more comfortable. it took a while before i had enough confidence to meet him. I am very paranoid too, so at first i thought he was going to kill me or hurt me, because thats what happens in movies. But when i met him... I was real, it was amazing. We talked for hours... This is the first time i met this person and i opened up to him, more than i would my best friend of 12+ years. in that night he knew everything about me. i've never talked so much to a person in my life. By the end of the night i was talking a mile a minute, i was stuttering, i was nervous but also relieved that i could talk to this person and he wouldnt judge me, he helped me. And he wasnt like the rest, he didn't tell me that i needed professional help. I lost my grandma 3 years ago and it was really hard and i still greave about it, and some nights i just lay in bed and cry, and i dont tell people why. but he didnt care, he helped me and talked me through it. Of course ill have my days but having his positive energy around just made it better. ANYWAYS, we attend the same college, but this summer ill be living an hour away from him, but he constantly tells me that it will work, we will see each other. hes been asking me to be his girlfriend for a while and i kept shutting him down, 1 because i didnt feel ready to be in a relationship again, after 2 years of being single i forgot what it is like to have someone, and it still hasnt set in that im not single anymore, 2 we only have been talking a month and i didnt feel we knew eachother well enough and 3 i didnt know how to tell my parents. But i finally said "fuck it, why not" and he asked me to be his girlfriend and i said yes. its only been a day and i still havent told my parents and its not sunk in yet that i have a boyfriend... I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!

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