Waden Hill, Avebury, Wiltshire (July 1996)
Photograph by Steve Alexander.
The face of the archetypal grey alien pops up again and again and again and again ... and again in the fields. With the exception of the pipe smoker and the pizza delivery boy, almost every other representation of this cliche has merited no more than a tired yawn. At least 2020's alien-cod chimera caused much amusement, but what appeared at Waden Hill in 1996 defied belief. It's wonky, lopsided and, well, just a waste of wheat. It has been put to The Croppie that viewed upside down it represents a conehead or some lunatic in a KKK hood, although these explanations are less enticing.
Milk Hill, Stanton St Bernard, Wiltshire (May 2005)
Photograph by Steve Alexander.
'The importance of this remarkable event will, I suspect, continue to reveal itself through the season as others work seriously on it. It is a glowing augury of things to come,' enthused cerealogist Michael Glickman. We may never know whether Glickers truly believed this or he was digging himself a hole in a doomed attempt to save face. This formation clearly represents a pair of y-front underpants and was claimed by a chap by the name of Spanish Dave on the CirlemakersTV show. Maybe it celebrated the show host's graduation from nappies? Wait. That still hasn't happened.
West Overton T-Junction, Wiltshire (July 1993)
Nobody has to exercise their brain to picture the scene in The Barge before this hopelessly obvious but curiously effective circle came into being: a group of people desperate to be edgy sat around the pool table. They decide make something to befuddle croppies. One of them suggests finding a quiet road junction surrounded by wheat fields and then whacking down a ring centred on the concrete. Fortunately for them, the T-junction underneath Boreham Wood just happened to fit the criteria. According to Peter Sorensen (writing in issue ten of The Cerealogist), the makers were spotted by the farmer's son as they loaded their garden roller into a car. It's tough to believe that more than a few croppies seemed to take this formation seriously, but they did.
Pewsey Wharf, Pewsey, Wiltshire (August 2010)
Photograph by the Crop Circle Connector
It's challenging to think anyone sane would run the risk of being seen from nearby houses to create this foul, crude, vomit inducing representation of the female genitalia. There is nothing to recommend this grotesque effort whatsoever. The proportions are all wrong, the construction is wretched and the whole thing is hideous.
Really? Why are you smiling? Photograph by Ross Holcomb
Boreham Wood, nr Lockeridge, Wiltshire (July 2012)
Photograph by Steve Alexander
Think back to early July 2012 and the appearance of this cheeky, legless caterpillar (complete with heart shaped antennae) worming its way out of a, err, wormhole. We learned through the pages of Crop Circle 'Wisdom' that everything but the head was freestyled with nothing more than feet and some string. And doesn't it show. The scrawlings around the portal are apparently taken from a code invented by Crop Circle 'Wisdom''s loyal reader Roger Wibberley and spell out F-A-L-S-E G-I-F-T-S. One doesn't need a codebook to spell out S-H-I-T-E. Apparently the croppie world was turned on its head by this monstrosity with each and every researcher facing 'a dilemma whether to declare [the caterpillar] man made or not.' Horace Drew may have genuinely thought the caterpillar to be a sign with some greater meaning, though everyone else could surely see what a naff set-up job this whole thing was.