Have you ever had one of those moments in life where the truth just suddenly hits you? When everything you've been denying finally sinks in? It feels like someone has punched you in the face. You're humiliated for not realising sooner, hurt by the possible damage it's caused and it's going to take time to heal.
In my day to day life, I'm a professional chef. I work in Glasgow city centre, I enjoy video games (understatement,) reading and relaxing with my boyfriend, friends and my two cats.
Look, there they are now!
The rest of the time, I'm a professional wrestler. I started training at the Source Wrestling School in 2010 when I had finished university and didn't really know what to do with myself. A friend dared me to find a school when we were watching it on the TV one day and instead of scoffing, it put the idea in my head. 6 years later, I've been lucky enough to say that I've travelled up and down the country, around Europe and I've even spent time wrestling in Japan.
I wrestled against this guy. Big ain't he!?
But I digress.
2015 had been a rather messy year for me. While some amazing things happened, like moving in with my boyfriend, some not so good things happened, like losing my job. I never felt settled and as a result my training suffered.
I'm not a naturally athletic person, at all, but I had been telling myself that I was fine. I looked totally fine, it was all in my head!
Until I saw this picture.
There it was in front of me in all it's coloured lycra glory. I had gone from a size 10-12, a healthy 11st and 20% body fat to a size 14, 13st and 35% body fat. I was horrified!
Some would tell me I was being stupid and that I looked fine and as an average person, maybe I am, but as a professional athlete? No freakin' way.