Just a few days ago, I had an encounter with a screaming willful child, my four-year-old granddaughter. As I was babysitting for my daughter while she attended class, my granddaughter wanted to play UNO, and she was excited because her mother had just taught her how to play. However, I did not know how to play, so I asked my grandson to help. She did not like that, and she became angry and insisted that we play the game the way her mom taught her. I tried to explain to her that her brother was helping me, but she was determined. Anyhow, she threw a tantrum, so I sent her to her room and explained to her that she could not be disrespectful towards adults and she needed to think about her actions; I also needed to give myself a time-out to reassess the situation. I thought about how I should handle this confrontation without confusing her, nor did I want to cause her to believe that her mother was wrong, and I was more superior than her mom. After everything settled down, I went to her and first reassured her that I loved her regardless of her bad behavior; it is important to let her know that it was her behavior that was bad, not her. I told her that she was in trouble for being disrespectful when she yelled at me. She apologized, I hugged her and let it go. After giving the children their dinner, we went to the park and as I watched them play, I thought about the outcome. If I would have made an impulsive decision and acted out of anger, things would have been very different, and the damage would be extensive and internal. My whole relationship with her would have been wounded and I would have been filled with guilt, shame, and regret. Jesus says out the heart the man speaks. It doesn’t matter how much make-up a person uses during a crisis; their true self is revealed. She would not have seen a loving grandmother, who is teaching her understanding, but impulsiveness that leads to folly (Proverbs 14:29)
The Reality of God
The Reality of God just came to me recently, although I had been a Christian for a very long time; I viewed Him in my heart as a mean step-father who demanded I follow the rules in his house or be kicked out. I know this sounds a bit childish, but I never knew what a real father daughter relationship looked or felt like; I never knew my biological father, so feeling the sense of belonging and loved never existed. I share these pictures because they are a reminder to me of what my Father did for me in November 2017 when I drove myself to the emergency completely alone. I knew I was sick again, but this time was different, this time I was going to die. I had an infection so severe it closed my throat completely, and it was just a matter of time before this infection got to my brain and killed me; I was spent mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Prior to this event in 2013 I drove myself to the hospital and had another near- death experience; the physician called out code blue, and said, if I had not come in when I did, I would have died. He said I was having a Thyroid Storm. I was in the hospital for 5 days, and very few family members came to visit the first day; I felt like they were there simply out of obligation because they hurried in and out, never returning. I was used to being alone, but it really hurt when the nurse asked why no one came to see me. I didn't have medical insurance, and I could not afford to have the surgery my doctor recommended, so they treated me and released me. For 4 years without medical insurance, I did the best I can to keep up with my medications, but my health continued to worsen until finally, my husband was able to put me on his veteran's medical insurance and I was able to have that surgery to remove my thyroid. The week before my surgery, members from my church were constantly calling me, sending me cards of encouragement, hugging me, and just loving on me in ways I have never known; it was so overwhelming I could not stop crying; I was being flooded with God's Love through them. A few days before the surgery, I told my three children, "When I awake, I just want to see your faces". So when the day May 15, 2017 arrived, I thought I was going to be alone again, but instead my Pastor came and prayed for me, and as the nurses wheeled me out toward the operating room, there stood a crowd of family members who showed up to give me support. My surgery took 6 hours, and everyone was still there waiting for me to wake up. When I awoke momentarily through a blurred vision, I seen the faces of my three children amongst the crowd family members. Six months later that November I drove myself to hospital again, I was filled with infection from a tumor that went unnoticed and had several more surgeries, I was not alone again because again my Pastor ran to me like a father runs to his child, and my room was filled will friends, family, and so many flowers I wanted to share them with all the nurses who treated me. That day, I met my Father, and He became so real to me, because you see, only God knew the pain in the depth of my heart, more than I knew myself, (The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit, Psalm 34:18). That day, God became my Loving Father God and I finally knew what it meant to be a daughter, a baby girl to her daddy.
Created with an image by rghenry - "Floating Cross"