Hatred a Narrative by brooke claveria

Oh look, it's a normal human being!

I have always been insecure. Insecure about a disease many people have, but it has effected me and my life much more than others. I have eczema. I am covered by it. I am drowning in it, and I will never escape. I don’t wear t-shirts, I don’t wear shorts. I am afraid of this terrible disease and what my peers will think about me if they see it. Over the years I have struggled, but after what happened I made sure to stand up for myself and always remember that I am normal.

I stood there, looking in the mirror, staring at myself in disgust. I saw not me, but my scabs covering my body. I couldn’t believe that this was my life. My mother always told me that everything happens for a reason, but I couldn’t share that thought. I couldn’t when I was given this disease that has caused me so much suffering, so much hatred.

I kept staring, unable to look away. “Why, why me?” I thought to myself. I couldn’t understand why I had my friends, my family, and any love from anyone looking the way I do. There were people that I knew didn’t talk to me at school because they were afraid of me. I wanted to break that mirror that made me hate myself so much, and I wanted to stop. Stop caring, stop listening to that voice that told me I wasn’t good enough. I just wanted it to stop.

I had looked away for a brief moment, and didn’t want to look again. Knowing myself, I turned away from the mirror. And I suddenly had a new thought, “I am beautiful, I really am.” I turned back and faced myself in this piece of glass painted to show reflections. I took a good look at what was standing in front of me.

I was.

I was standing there, a beautiful human being that had all of the same rights everyone else has. I was determined to protect myself, not from others, but from my own mind. I knew that I was stronger than this and that I could wear t-shirts and shorts because if my peers or friends didn't like it, I could stand up for myself and tell them that I can't change.

I can't change and you can't make me, so be here for me or don't. I was there, in the bathroom, debating over such a silly thing, the truth was that I was human, and that was all that mattered. Everything else is just a side note in life.

I no longer drown in my Eczema, I just simply float in it. I am no longer suffering, I am just living. I am no longer defined by my Eczema, I am just me. I am just good old me, making my way in the world. I may not know where that is yet, but I do know that I will not punish myself for my differences. My anxiety will not yell at me. It will not tell me I am not good enough, because I am. I am perfect the way I am. Always remember that you can only be as good as you think you are, no one else can make you who you are.

Created By
Brooke Claveria
Appreciate

Made with Adobe Slate

Make your words and images move.

Get Slate

Report Abuse

If you feel that this video content violates the Adobe Terms of Use, you may report this content by filling out this quick form.

To report a Copyright Violation, please follow Section 17 in the Terms of Use.