Here's my Mom. Kathy to most. Sarge to me. She was recently out here for a visit. "Let's take a picture together," she says. And when Sarge speaks, you typically listen. Although, her approach is slightly softening with age.
Taking pictures together is a a recent favorite activity of hers. (Not just with me. My dad is her usual suspect. But I assume I'd help alleviate some of the photographic pressure from him if I didn't live 3000 miles away. Sorry, Dad!) Anyway...having my picture taken isn't my favorite. Even when it's a selfie.
Things started out OK. Despite the skin flaking off the tip of my nose. Yay for sun on aging skin...in the high desert. (And thanks to my family for pointing it out. Oh, wait. They didn't.)
Yaaaay! We love selfies and taking pictures together. Well, one of us does.
"Oh, Bridget, wait. I had two hairs out of place. And you're pulling my shirt! Helloooooo. My bra strap's hanging out."
Me: No words. "See? See my bra strap? Your arm is pulling my shirt. Let me see that one. Oooooh! That one was so cute with you looking at me like that! Let's do that one again."
I was totally down with that idea. "Ok, these selfies aren't really working out. Let's have Dad try."
Oh, hey, Dad. "Shit. I just took a picture of myself." Yes. Yes, you did.
"What are you doing? Are you going to put your arm around me? Watch my shirt. I don't want my bra strap showing again."
Self explanatory. This is going well. Tons of fun.
WTF is going on with my arm? Yea. I am a huge King of Queens fan. Apparently so much so that I thought it would be a good idea to replicate Carrie's big arm scene from the Present Tense episode in a shameful attempt to cover up my week-long Bend, OR diet of beer and pub food with a fluffy pillow. Not familar? Grab this link and skip to the 6 minute mark. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv_vCZ3h_Ek). Also, note the placement of my arm and the visible bra strap. #wasnotme
The arm! It's huge. Cannot stop laughing. "Ok, Den. Give us the phone back. This isn't working either!"
"This one's just ok, Bridget. I don't like how I am holding my head." Me: "You look truly happy though." "Yea, but my head is back." Me: -_-
"Oh, shit! I wasn't looking." Clearly.
Me: "Let's try to be like those cool girls on Instagram." Sarge: "Or like how you hold the phone when you FaceTime us." Me: "Ugh - I hate looking at myself talk. Just seeing my eye is fine."
Me: "That's it. I am just taking a thousand and hoping one turns out." Apparently, it wasn't going to be this one.
"Crap! My necklace is crooked."
"Do you want to see my Kewpie doll impression?"
Me: "What the hell was that face? What are you doing with your eyes?" Sarge, "I don't know. Ooooooh! That one of you looking at me is even cuter than the first. I love that."
Sarge: "I know! Let's do that twisty mouth pose."
Nope. "Ok, now let's try to get a good one."
We won't have any good pictures to prove it, but I'd venture to say we'll never forget how hard we laughed trying to get the 'perfect' picture together. And, really, that memory is perfect enough.