My mom is the one who had the final say on my name. She say’s that she named me Eli because her father passed away when she was 18, who went by the same name. She said that it had destroyed her, and wanted to name her child Eli as a way to hold onto him. My dad wanted to name me James, which is why it ended up as my middle name. However, he lost the fight and Eli took place. I find it interesting how my mother says that even if I was born a girl, I would’ve been given the same name, as if it were set and stone before my mom even had the thought.
Apparently, my name means “Height.” I don’t see how these apply to people, but I could understand why Eli was a popular name in my mom’s family. I don’t think it means height as in measurement, I believe it means height as in growth, as if I was expected to be successful and grow in the social hierarchy, even if I don’t. It feels almost sentimental, like a running theme in the family. I notice that every family seems to have that one common name, no matter what it means, that may hold sentimental value to them. It’s as if everyone is expected to have great success in life before it even begins.
I feel like it's common for someone to absolutely despise their name, no matter what it is. I, of course, am not an exception to this rule. Specifically, I never felt like it had any specific value at all. While every name has a buried meaning within the family, I never really felt that way. Everyone gets tired of their name at some point, no matter the meaning. To be specific, I am simply tired of my name, as I’m sure everyone is.
My neighborhood is a small and sparse assortment of houses with nothing special to it, located in a town much the same. Perfect for the type of person who's been retired for far too long and wants a nice place to "settle down" and enjoy a rural lifestyle. It also comes packaged with some bonus features! Including a mile-long view of absolutely nothing, the quietness that comes with living near absolutely nothing, and an entire acre of property to build absolutely nothing on. If I haven't made it clear yet, I'm not a fan of the rural lifestyle.
I'd much rather live in the city. I love everything about it, the proximity to everything you could imagine, the lively community, the progressive lifestyle of each individual, it's much more preferable. I can certainly see the appeal for the country lifestyle, but it's anything but what I would imagine being fit for me. Yet, here I am, and where I might end up for the rest of my childhood. Unfortunately, the lifestyle I'm stuck in had shaped me in my youth, and I grew up thinking it was the norm. Now, I've grown more of a sound opinion, and realized there's more to it than a small town in scenic nowhere. One day I'll make enough money to get out of this hole and move. To say the least, It would be a step in the right direction.
I've envisioned myself differently throughout the years. As a child, I was much different than I am now. Yet, in a way, I still see a connection between myself and my younger personality. I used to be much more charismatic, confident, and outgoing. If one were to analyze my life, they would still see some of that today. However, there is one great difference that masks a great amount.
Nowadays, I have become a lot more quiet around people I don't know. I feel like this comes with age, but I've noticed it become greater as time goes on. It's almost as if I keep a sheet over my personality until I get to know them, at which point I truly unveil it. It's a poor way to live, but It's what I've grown accustom to. I tell many people this, but in public or around people I don't know, I try to keep my head down and just get through the day. I see a lot of people who are extremely outgoing and is a friend to the world. Of course, this comes with benefits, but I cannot see myself ever fitting this roll. Even if this is a bad thing or not, It's how I live.
I feel as if these vignettes cover very important topics in my life. Where I live has shaped my childhood, an will be the biggest thing I will associate my childhood with. My neighborhood, for example, is a staple of the community in this area, and how other people treat peers. My parents set out to raise me in the image of these people. It's what I've grown accustom to. My personality also defines me as a person and how I act everyday. I feel like most people in class experience the same thing when writing.
I've personally experienced a 'coming of age' within the last couple years. I've felt like I've come to know myself better as a person and understand what I feel. I feel much more progressive and as if I will continue to find myself as I age. I'd like to believe that middle school played a part in my 'coming of age'.
I did not like the book itself. I felt like it was poorly worded and didn't do much to grab my attention. My biggest grievance was the fact that the book felt confusing at times. Dialogue was not put in quotation marks, making it hard to understand who is talking. the Vignettes themselves were not very intriguing, and felt boring at certain times. Esperanza is an interesting character, but I feel as if the book did not convey her aspects as much as it could've.