Gutted By: Caroline e. Rodriguez

(....)

11:40

I slowly arose from the narrow bed in my cabin, A-29. The cacophony from people ran through the hall. I slipped on my gown and heels before the bollocks happened. I was always told to be demure in front of public. So, I walked outside and I had a bundle of words. Everyone was so confused at the time. My mum said "Love, follow your father."

11:57 pm

"Mum, any road. We are outside now," I stated.

"Mary Helen, stay close... We don't know what's happening, Darling." my mother, Madeleine.

They had us wait on the deck as the band played for the minted and the poor. I watched the crew members spread on the ship like butter on toast. As the passengers on the ship had their argy-bargy.

Passengers and Crew on the deck.

12:09 am

Everyone was rushing on to the deck. All I want to do is sleep! It was so early!! I had to complain. "MUMMY, I'm cold and I want to go to sleep!"

She looked at me with a fagged face and spoke "Mary Helen, this is cobblers! Everyone is cold, hon."

Next the crew started to unravel the lifeboats. All of my father's mates were standing and bunged each other. There was nothing happening, but hearing the faint screams from the 3rd class floors. By then, everyone was near barmy.

12:40 am

They finally got the lifeboats and ready to load people. They screamed out "Women and children, first."

We were standing together at the port until my pa was removed from line. My mom howled, longing for her husband. Then he spoke, "Madeleine I'll be okay... I have bottle.

Tears stream down my mother and I's face. We loved our pa, weren't able to let him go. The band played jolly music so we'd be calm. Yet, no one was calm it was all zonked.

1:00 am

My mum walked near the lifeboat. He said "Women and children for lifeboat #8."

I followed like an obedient puppy down. We witnessed the other passengers board the boat as we sat down. They lowered our lifeboat into the darkest waters in the North Atlantic. As we all looked back there were beaver men. All I wanted to do was crumble into a million of pieces. I imagined all the people on the ship had a fate worse than death.

2:20 am

Yet little did I know, that boat had death instead of that fate. The crew members were rowing and rowing. I turned my head to see the boat collapse as the screams went silent.

All I felt was their terrible faith on my shoulders. I pondered was it my fault! Could I have helped? Those people needed someone, like my father. Yet, you can't go back in time. I can only face the future.

The passion in Polly Shoman was everything. People and lives were saved from the cold waters from the ocean. I thought again in a sad teary eyed voice "Their hearts were saved from the true kindness and ignoring their pleasures."

I want to be like that in my next life. I want to enjoy the meaning of life without stabbing my heart. With the Titanic it also sunk my heart. My family and my friends under the ocean. I wish I was like one million miles under the sea.

6:23 am

They did their busywork on the Carpathia and lowered the ladders. I watched as they raised sacks of children up a net. Then, women in their dresses climb up. Finally, it was my turn. I saw my life flash before my eyes as I climbed. I probably looked like a moron crawling like a baby on the ropes. All I wanted to be keen on the rigs. I asked my mum, " What are the facts of life?"

She responded with a tiny peep, "Doll, I don't know..."

Then walking around the boat I felt like I had two left feet. Then, I fell into a nap.

Words and Meanings

Bollocks: Craziness

A bundle of words: Lots to say

Love: A nickname like sweetie or love bug

Any Road: Any ways

Darling: Used as an affectionate form of address to a beloved person.

Minted: Rich

Argy-Bargy: Noisy quarreling or wrangling.

Mummy: Another word for mom

Fagged: Extremely tired; exhausted.

Cobblers: Rubbish

Mates: Friends, pals, or buddies

Bung: A payment made to someone to persuade them to do something, usually something dishonest

Bottle: Courage

Jolly: Happy

Zonked: Exhausted or asleep.

Beaver: Beard or a bearded man

A fate worse than death: Terrible fate

Busywork: Work that keeps a person busy but has little value in itself.

Moron: Idiot or stupid person

Keen: Attractive

Facts of Life: something that must be accepted as true and unchanging, even if it is unpleasant.

Credits:

Created with images by iClassicalCom - "And The Band Played On - Music Played On The Titanic I Salonisti Decca" • Unsplash - "water night reflection"

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