Icy Waters By adi Pillai

"Sir may I go down to the docks to go see the Titanic?" I asked from my room.

"No, you numpty, good for nothing child," Mister Williams said. My name is Acton and I am an orphan. I live in a orphanage run by a man named Mister Williams. He is a bent as a nine-bob note bloke who sits around in his office all day waiting for some kid to screw up so he can beat them. Today is the day that the lovely couples come to pick out the child they want. I have been here for 7 years and I have not been chosen. Everyone thinks that I am just going to rot away in this orphanage but that is wrong. Today Olivia and I are going to escape this cursed place by boarding the Titanic.

"Hurry up! We are going to be late you pillock," I said as me and Olivia ran down the dock.

"It's all right Acton we'll get there in time," Olivia said running a couple of paces behind me.

"I just need to find a hiding spot," I said panting. We ran to the ace Titanic and scampered aboard. I looked back expecting someone to yell and come chasing after us, but no such thing happened.

"Here comes the hard part," Olivia whispered. We had to find a good hiding spot that we could stay in until we reached bloody America.

"Here I have a plan. I will dress up as a sailor and go see if any of the rooms are vacant and if there are no rooms open we will just steal some opulent clothes from some rich couple," I said as I ran out the door to look for a sailor outfit.

I ran down the hallway and found a room for the sailors I quickly picked up a uniform and ran upstairs to see the gaffer. As I ran up the stairs I heard someone calling for Sailor Jones and as I looked at my name tag I realized that I was Sailor Jones.

"Come here, you corker," a muscular man with a thick mustache said. I walked over there dreading that he would notice that I wasn't Jones. I saw another man standing next to the muscular man. He looked like he did his nut. I walked up to the muscular man I got conked in the head by the mad man.

I woke up in a room with a table and a couple of chairs. There was a map on the table with a route drawn on it. I heard voices coming from the wall and put my ear next to it to try to earwig on them. He could only hear a couple of words, "Captain Smith............iceberg..........sink.......Titanic," He almost screamed when he heard the horrible news. The RMS Titanic was going to sink!

I ran over to the door and opened it quietly and ran down the hall. I had to make sure that no one would see me for they had took my sailor clothes away so I was walking around in my underwear. I had to find Olivia she might be in danger! I ran down the hallway trying to remember the way that I came from. I saw a closet and I opened it, Olivia wasn't there. I looked up and saw the hallway that I was in, I had to find her before the bloody ship sank!

As I went down the hallway I was gutted that I hadn't found Olivia yet. If he had to leave her he would go to spare. I opened the last closet and I saw someone huddling in the back. I was chuffed when I found her, "Olivia its me!" As the face came into the light I saw that it was a little boy looking out of the closet. My heart sank, it wasn't her.

I did my nut, "Who are you, a lag? I'll call the fuzz on you!" The little boy looked miffed.

"Shut your laughing gear, mate!" he retorted. "You aren't such a nob either, you don't even have your clothes on!"Then we both got into an argey-bargey and then we started to fight. I started to paste him and then after a while he gave up falling to the ground. I got up and staggered down the hallway looking like a steaming drunkard. Just then I heard the alarms for the ships blaring. I was too late, Olivia was lost and the Titanic was sinking!

I ran to the deck and hoped that Olivia would be smart enough to go to the deck too. The deck was flooded with people trying to escape. Their was music playing in the background and people were yelling. I looked around for Olivia but I couldn't find her. I scanned the ship and I saw the boy that I fought with trying to cut off one of the life boats to escape. "You Richard the Third!" I muttered to myself. I thundered after him I tackled him just before he cut the last rope. "You cant take this life raft you doofer. Why I ought to knock your ivories out and honk on you!" Right then I heard the ropes snap as someone else jumped in. I turned and came face to face with Olivia. Then we hit the icy waters.

British Slang

  • numpty- An incompetent or unwise person
  • bent as a nine-bob note- Metaphor for dishonesty or corruption that references the nine-schilling (bob) note, which does not exist and must therefore be counterfeit
  • pillock- a stupid person
  • ace- If something is ace it is awesome
  • bloody- extremely
  • gaffer- Boss, foreman, or employer
  • corker- Someone or something that/who is outstanding. A standout.
  • did his nut- To become enraged. Presumably a reference to doing an impression of a madman
  • conked- A blow to the head or nose.
  • earwig- To eavesdrop.
  • gutted- A state of extreme despair.
  • go to spare- To become angry, frustrated, distressed, or enraged.
  • chuffed- To be very pleased about something
  • lag- A convict, especially one who served or is serving a long prison sentence
  • miffed- Upset or offended
  • fuzz- The Police
  • laughing gear- A metaphor for one’s mouth
  • nob- Person of high social status, snob
  • argey bargey- An argument or heated confrontation
  • paste- To hit, punch, or beat thoroughly
  • steaming- The state of extreme drunkenness, or extreme anger
  • Richard the Third- Cockney rhyming slang for a turd
  • doofer- An unnamed object. Thing, thingamajig, whatchamacallit
  • ivories- Teeth, piano keys, or dice
  • honk- To vomit


Created with images by Drew Avery - "Assorted Icebergs"

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