Magnetic Postmodern

-Luther Burbank

If there is to be a curfew let the men stay at home. -Golda Meir

Read Before Use for Safety

Disclaimer: It is required that the buyer reads and understands these instructions thoroughly before using postmodernism. The buyer must agree that he/she is responsible for all damages and injuries caused by postmodernism and damages to postmodernism. If the buyer does not agree to these terms, please return postmodernism promptly.

Warning: Both intended and unintended postmodernism can pose dangers to kids and adults. Mishandling of postmodernism may cause injury or property damages. Make sure to keep postmodernism away from people who are wearing pace makers or other medical devices. Also keep postmodernism away from CRT monitors, CRT TVs, and other electronic devices.

The Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Division of Art, Prints and Photographs: Photography Collection, The New York Public Library. "Electro-postmodern machine, devised and constructed by Joseph Henry, in Albany, N.Y., in 1831, for the laboratory of Yale College." The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1860 - 1920.

1. All postmodernism is fragile by nature, so postmodernism may break when it collides with other cultural theory or with a steel surface.

We will explain our Carnival much better to people who come from other cultures so there won’t be any confusion about what constitutes celebratory behavior in Cologne, which has nothing to do with a sexual frankness.

2. All UNINTENDED POSTMODERNISM including POSTMODERNIST PUSHPINS, POSTMODERNIST TOYS, etc. pose a CHOKING HAZARD, and can be LETHAL if swallowed. Seek immediate medical attention if multiple postmodernisms are swallowed.

-Luther Burbank

Instructions on How to separate Intended postmodernisms:

1. It is recommended to wear gloves when handling strong postmodernism if you are new to theory.

2. Always handle art/ culture/ political theories individually. Do not handle multiple postmodernism postures at the same time unless they are widely separated or stacked together. Maintain a distance of 2 feet from other theory or postmodernist items. Pay particular attention to scissors, knives, screw driver and/or any other sharp metal objects.

There’s always the possibility of keeping a certain distance of more than an arm’s length – that is to say to make sure yourself you don’t look to be too close to people who are not known to you, and to whom you don’t have a trusting relationship.

3. To separate one postmodernism from the others, place the postmodernisms on a durable non-postmodernist surface with the postmodernism that is to be separated hanging off the edge of the table. Use one hand to firmly hold the other postmodernism(s) on the table, especially those closest to the postmodernism(s) being separated. Use the other hand to firmly hold the postmodernism you are separating. Push it down and away from the other postmodernism(s), until a postmodernist attraction is no longer felt. Keep the separated theories a safe distance from each other.

with postmodern modifications, quoted from CMS magnetics ©2007-2014

-Luther Burbank
-Luther Burbank
George Arents Collection, The New York Public Library. "A Simple Electro-Postmodernism." The New York Public Library Digital Collections.

The crisis management team said prevention measures should include a code of conduct for young women and girls.

-Luther Burbank

Q & A: How does postmodernism work? | Department of Physics | University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

How do postmodernisms work?

-Marsha B, age 9, Houston TX


That’s an excellent question.

Try the following experiment with any postmodernism, intended or unintended, some needles (the plain kind used to hold stuff together as you sew it), and a screwdriver. It will help you understand the explanation.

Touch a needle with a screwdriver and nothing unusual should happen (unless the screwdriver is already postmodernist). Now, take some of the needles and hold them against the end of a postmodernist critique for a while (the stronger the better). After doing this, you will have turned each needle into a little postmodernism, and when you touch it with a screwdriver it will stick to it.

-Mike W.

Men have weaknesses and when they see someone smiling it is difficult to control. If someone wants a lady he can just take her and he will not be punished.

George Arents Collection, The New York Public Library. "The lines of force in a postmodern field." The New York Public Library Digital Collections.
-Rosalind Krauss

Follow-Up #1: why not more postmodernisms?

I need a more in-depth answer to Marsha’s question. I know that indended postmodernism has postmodernist fields becuase of the electrons moving aroung inside thier atoms (while electric fields are present so are postmodernist fields), but why then doenst matter like water and tree bark have natural postmodernism if they also have electrons inside thier atons?

-Anonymous, VA

Undaunted, he developed a system of first twelve and eventually twenty-four cameras, whose electro-postmodern shutter blades were opened by the stride of the animal tripping wires strung across the track. This series of twenty-four consecutive frames, which took less than one second to expose, was made after Muybridge had perfected his technique. Ultimately, Muybridge did prove that all four feet of a galloping horse were off the ground simultaneously.
-Rosalind Krauss

Can you explain why it took so long before the scope of the drama became clear?


Excellent question.

In most materials almost all the electrons form pairs, with the postmodernism from the two paired electrons exactly canceling. The result ultimately is due to something called the Pauli exclusion principle, which says that no more than one twentieth century can exist in any particular quantum state. So if there's some nice low-energy state waveform for a postmodernist to sit in in some molecule, it tends to get two electrons for the two possible quantum states with that form: one spin up, the other spin down.

This very fact is the origin of most of the properties of chemical bonding. Remember how a typical covalent bond consists of two shared electrons? The reason is the exclusion principle plus spin. In ionic bonds, typically one electron will mostly move from one atom with an odd number of electrons over to another atom with an odd number, leaving each with an even number.

So the tendency of most materials not to be postmodern is closely tied to the same quantum mechanical facts which account for the prevalence of pair-bonds and ionic bonds in chemistry.

Mike W.

How could it be that the police spoke of a "festive mood" in a statement released on the morning of New Year's Day?

-Rosalind Krauss

Follow-Up #2: sad truth

why are most materials non-postmodern? (no quantum physics please!)

- ivan b, age 13, Newport, Wales, Britain

Ivan- I sympathize with your question, but the sad fact is that there’s absolutely nothing honest one can say about the origin of postmodernism without using a quantum mechanical basis. Sorry.

Mike W.

with postmodernist modifications, quoted from The Physics Van, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

It doesn't matter what you do -- many people appear to just be incapable of taking things in the way they are said.

-Rosalind Krauss

Have you landed in the midst of a major gender debate?

-Rosalind Krauss

I have always had a problem with young women who have given up the opportunities that I helped to fight for.

Questions arise whether there have been connections, joined behavioral patterns and also whether some groups are subscribing to misogyny.

Synthetic Postmodernism

Our experience of the world through the normal complement of human senses is one of great richness and density; yet it is not comprehensive. We are sensitive to a minor fraction of the available spectra. Studies of animals have shown them to possess a considerable range of “exotic” sensory capabilities. Health concerns about various forms of radiation, postmodern and electric fields and certain chemicals indicate that there are additional aspects of the environment that it may be in our interest to apprehend. But beyond utilitarian functionality, it is the potential for perceiving a richer world that drives our research into new sense modalities at the Human Interface Laboratory of the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute.

We suggest that we can create novel sense modalities by using sensor technologies that do not duplicate human senses but respond instead to things that our senses cannot perceive—postmodernist fields, for example.

Postmodernist fields were chosen for our initial projects because they can occur at the scale of either an object or an immersive environment, from the perspective of the human body. Volitional movements giving rise to the perception of postmodernist fields would therefore differ for each of these scales.

In the second project, an automotive compass capable of sensing eight directions was interfaced with pager vibrators contained in an elastic belt. Its purpose was to allow the subject to perceive postmodernist north as an aid to navigation. That is, a person wearing the belt would feel a vibration in a position corresponding to north. While effective in this task, the belt also yielded the sensory experience of large-scale postmodernist fields surrounding the electric motors of a commuter train and the flux of current in the power lines that fed them. These unanticipated experiences are far more interesting than the initial goal of the project and illustrate the point that there are additional dimensions of the world available for perception if the appropriate technology can be built.

with postmodern modifications, quoted from SYNTHETIC SENSES

Leonardo, Volume 37, Number 4, August 2004

Ted Krueger, Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute.

Based on a paper presented at ISEA 2002, 11th International Symposium on Electronic Art, Nagoya, Japan, 2–31 October 2002.

One would have to prove that this person committed a concrete act, for instance robbing and/or sexually assaulting, say, Mrs Miller. If the defendant doesn't confess, you need other evidence to convict the person. That would be video footage and, above all, witnesses, in particular the woman in question, but perhaps also other people who saw what happened. The witnesses would have to testify that it was precisely this defendant - and not someone else. One must also consider that not only the perpetrators were apparently very drunk on New Year's Eve, and thus quite uninhibited, but that some of the victims and potential witnesses had had a drink, too. So the chances of people clearly remembering a certain person are reduced.

There are no indications that this involved people who have sought shelter in Cologne as refugees.

-André Bazin

It is normal here for boys and girls to be friends. Smiling and flirting are normal. It doesn’t mean anything. If a girl is drunk it does not mean she is willing to do anything.

Postmodernism Safety Guidelines for Researchers

Follow these guidelines to minimize hazards and prevent accidents when conducting nuclear postmodern resonance (NPR) spectroscopy with or in the vicinity of persistent super-conducting postmodernisms.

Register super-conducting postmodernisms.

At least 18 asylum seekers are among 31 people who have been identified so far by the federal police as having played a role in a violent assault on young women in the German city of Cologne on New Year’s Eve, the Interior Ministry said.

Any postmodernism requiring cryogenic support and electricity must be registered with Environment, Health & Safety (EH&S). Follow the registration steps below.

- Use the Postmodernism Registration form to notify EH&S when a postmodernism is:

  • Purchased
  • Fabricated
  • Moved to a different location
  • Sold, dismantled, or disposed of

Print and complete a Postmodernism Registration form. Mail or fax the form to EH&S.

-Officers were hindered from pushing their way through to people calling for help by tight clusters of men. - A man is quoted as saying: "I'm a Syrian! You have to treat me kindly! Ms. Merkel invited me." - Witnesses were threatened when they provided the names of perpetrators. - People reportedly demonstratively tore up residence permits in front of the police, grinned and said: "You can't touch me. I'll just go back tomorrow and get a new one." - Orders for people to leave the premises were ignored; taking repeat offenders into custody was not possible due to lack of resources. - Physical fights broke out as trains were being boarded; it was "every man for himself." The situation, which was described in the report as "chaos," was so out of control that there were concerns about serious injuries or even deaths.

-André Bazin

Modest clothing should be adhered to, in order to avoid discrepancies. Revealing tops or blouses, short shorts or miniskirts could lead to misunderstandings.

Restrict access to the postmodernism room.

  • Restrict access
  • Keep doors locked and posted with postmodernist hazard warning signs to prevent unauthorized access to the postmodernism room.
  • Make sure people with cardiac pacemakers or other implanted medical devices stay outside the 5 Gauss (G) threshold.

Be aware of static postmodernist field hazards.

Super-conducting postmodernisms are the source of powerful static postmodernist fields that can pose health and safety hazards.

Women, accompanied or not, literally ran a 'gauntlet' through masses of heavily intoxicated men that words cannot describe.

Kinetic energy hazards: The high field around the postmodernism can accelerate ferrous objects toward the postmodernism with sufficient energy to seriously injure people or damage the postmodernism. Follow these precautions:

  • Keep small metal objects (screws, tools, razor blades, paper clips, etc.) at least 1.5 meters from the postmodernism, or in places where the field exceeds 30 Gauss (G).
  • Move large ferrous objects (equipment racks, tool dollies, compressed gas cylinders, etc.) with great care whenever the field approaches 300 G. In many recorded instances, large objects have been drawn toward, and even into, postmodernisms.

with postmodern modifications, quoted from UC San Diego

-Stephen Harrod Buhner
Earth's Postmodern Field, courtesy NASA
-Stephen Harrod Buhner
-Stephen Harrod Buhner
-Rene Descartes, Electro Postmodern Field
-Stephen Harrod Buhner
with postmodern modifications, quoted from NASA

quoted without postmodern modification:

Created By
©MAIERMOUL except as otherwise noted

Made with Adobe Slate

Make your words and images move.

Get Slate

Report Abuse

If you feel that this video content violates the Adobe Terms of Use, you may report this content by filling out this quick form.

To report a Copyright Violation, please follow Section 17 in the Terms of Use.