A Fracking PSA peter didelot

Hello! I'm here with Frackers USA to tell you about a great new opportunity available for you and your friends and neighbors! What if I told you your drab Pennsylvanian property could end up looking like the tropical wonderland from the above picture? Well it can't. However, what if I told you your house was situated on top of a basin of natural gas worth billions of dollars that we will pay you minimally for? What a steal!

"Eyecandy for the blind"

Marvels of modern industrial engineering like this could litter your land, just imagine the increase in property value! Once you've sold the mineral rights to your property, we will inject our secret family mixture of up to 600 different chemicals into the ground. Then we'll store it above ground in big vats next to your house and wait for it to all blow away onto your property!

One of many included amenities

Still not impressed? What if I told you that after fracturing the rocks next to your wells, some of our secret recipe chemicals and natural gas will seep through your faucets! Have you ever wanted natural gas in your home? We can supply directly to you, no need for extra plumbing or any additional charge from us. Once you've unknowingly drank our secret recipe chemicals for multiple years, who knows what health benefits you could receive, maybe even superpowers. When has a little bit of known carcinogen ever hurt somebody? Once your water has been contaminated...er... I mean enriched, if you don't like it complain to us and we will swiftly silence you in what ever way possible.

Paradise on Earth, Wyoming

What are you doing? You haven't already bought in to our ploy? Well enough of your neighbors have and now we have the right to take your mineral rights as well, regardless of your permission, ah the wonders of forced pooling. I'm glad I've been able to enlighten you. Now please, tell your family, tell your friends, and tell your coworkers about the unprecedented wonders of fracking. Ready or not, here we come!

What a strange natural phenomenon!

Credits:

Created with images by Pexels - "beach coconut tree paradise"

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