Australia, July 2015 Wonderful? Wonderful? Copenhagen?

There's an argument to be made that if the last leg of a trip is shitty, that's not a bad thing, because it'll make arriving home less of a jolt than if it was an awesome experience you don't want to finish. Maybe that's how I should look at this.

The fact I'm in Copenhagen at all is because I wanted to eke out the most savings I could find for the dates I wanted to travel. Leaving from Stockholm and returning here was the cheapest of all Scandinavia-Australia flights I could find and besides, I figured it'd be fun. I like this shit and they are all new airports for me. But now I've finished it, here's a tip: don't fucking fly from Copenhagen if you want a decent fat cat short haul business class experience.

The stairs to the lounge are ugly. That's not a good sign. The lounge isn't exactly out of the way from the main termnal, but above some shops in the middle of it. It's shared by about 50 airlines or something. And it is awful.

There is a bunch of cramped seating, mostly in ugly and uncomfortable seating. A mix of awful plastic crap and ropey lounge chairs. It's full of kids. The carpet is dirty and the aisles are narrow. There are no TVs. Most tables have loads of empty plates and glasses or other rubbish on them. The food on offer is laughable. I probably have better in my fridge and I can barely remember where my fridge is, I use it so seldom.

The alcohol ... exists. There are some dirt cheap spirit bottles, and a self-serve Tuborg tap. I put a glass under, pull it, and it explodes a load of froth on me. Fucks sake. I put that glass aside and try another. The same thing happens. I just leave them on the counter and give up. 10 minutes later I notice there is another tap nearer where I've managed to grab a scarce seat. The same thing happens, albeit a little less, and I leave wth a glass half full of beer plus another glass full of Sprite Zero. The latter is flat as a pancake and the Tuborg tastes absolutely rank. I grab a tiny apple - they are all tiny - and it too is horrible.

This is bullshit. There is nothing premium about this experience. I don't understand why the BA offering is so poor given there are about 5 or 6 flights a day from here. After posting the previous two blog posts I've totally had enough, and leave everything unfinshed on my table and piss off to the gate. The lounge is between the A and B gates and I see that I'm leaving from C27 anyway so I figure it might be a bit of a walk.

I don't figure it might be a walk all the way back through the airport, through passport control again, and beyond transfer security. Why is the lounge so far from the gates BA has to use, in the Schengen area?

I reach a corridor littered with people looking like they're waiting to be evacuated from a war zone. A BA plane has just landed and loads of arrivals are mixing with people waiting to depart. This helps me at least understand why CPH is highly rated as a place to do an immediate turn on a BA flight (the best CPH experience, IMO) but not why on my arrival I had to go through security.

Anyway. I wander back to a cafe to think about grabbing a beer. It is £4.70 for 40cl. I don't bother. Back at the gate I scan my boarding pass and get a red beep again, with the machine sayng "gate comment". The guy tells me that because I booked so late, there is no food available on the plane for me. They only load enough to feed people who bought their tickets more than 24 hours in advance. Well bollocks.

The gate area is crowded but I get a seat. They announce priority boarding and a bunch of people get up, me included, and walk through the gate and to the plane... without any staff checking anything. It seems to be a form of fast track based on nothing but honour and politeness. I reach 4A and vow never to use Copenhagen for the start or end of a trip agan.

Once onboard the premium experience improves (arrives!) a little. BA's short haul business class gets a lot of stick on Flyertalk, but the gap between the A and C seats is plenty big enough to ensure it's not even possible to be sat next to Johnny Elbows. The legroom feels better than QF571 and I can use my iPad as a laptop on the table even though 3A has pushed their seat back as far as it goes.

There is no-one else on my entire row, and that pleases me. The gin and tonic I ordered just before starting to write this post was good, and literally just as I started to write the last paragraph I was given a tray full of food and a can of lager: there is enough catering after all. Good job too, I was hungry! It's only a snack but it hits the spot.

And, well, I guess that's it. Helen is waiting for me at Heathrow and I can't wait to see her. I just got offered a third drink but turned it down. The 3-4 flight route to Australia is a whole load of fun and Qatar Airways rock. I'm really glad to be back and even to get back to work, but I'm also very conscious that I only have one future trip booked (with 3 others in the planning stages) and that's not enough, especially now I've earnt a lounge access card again. Guess I need to book some more flights.

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