Equipping parents to guide and protect their student’s in a 21st Century digital world

Learn how the use of technology affects the adolescent with regard to social/emotional, mental, and physical health. Information on research-based appropriate use of digital media for adolescents.

Social Media and Mental Health Handout

Digitally-Literate Adults with Denise Shields, Teacher

Learn about the apps children ages 10-13 are using and how they are using them, as well as how to use them safely. Popular apps and parent guides are listed in resources at the top of this page as well as in the following resource from Denise's presentation.

Popular Social Media Apps - Denise Shields

Digitally-Responsible Families with Jason Smith, Parent

Learn about parental responsibilities and safeguards that can be implemented to protect your child while he/she is interacting with digital media.

Digital Responsible Families Handout

Technology Workshop Notes From Spring 2018:

1. a father or a mother.

2. an ancestor, precursor,

3. a source, origin, or cause.

4. a protector or guardian.

Technology, like many things can be used for good and evil. It is our job to manage the danger and protect and equip our families to navigate this ever-changing climate.

What Do We Need To Protect Our Children And Teens From?

• Access to Anything on the Web

• No Air Filter

• Cyberbullying

- 64% of teens say cyberbullying affects their ability to learn and feel safe at school.

- Kids are losing their lives.

• Misconnections – know each of their friends on social media (not simply friends of friends)

• Untrue True Love- Infatuation with people they have never seen. Dangerous predators.

• Undeveloped Relational Skills -Children are growing up unable to build authentic relationships. If you can’t say it in a text, many don’t know what to do.

• Masquerading – kids living in a fantasy world posing as someone else. Fake accounts.

• Sexting – 46% of teens said sexting is part of everyday life for teenagers.

- 51% of girls felt pressure from a guy to send sexual text messages.

- 34% of girls sent sexual text messages to try and feel “sexy” or more attractive.

(Source: GuardChild.com)

• Pornography

- Nearly 80% of unwanted exposure to pornography is taking place in the home

- Over half of pornography is viewed with cell phones.

- 83% of pornography seen by children happens ACCIDENTALLY! This is why we must protect all our devices. (Stats from Internetsafety101.org/pornography statistics)

• Online Predators

• Lack of Sleep - “The teenager with a phone that takes it to bed with them is losing an average of an hour of sleep.” Brian Housman

• ...the list could go on and on.

Recommended Ages and Screen Time Use

0-18 months: Zero Screen Time

2-5: 1 hour of screen time

6-9: 2 hours of screen time. Supervised Use

9-12yrs Plus: Ensure all other health components in life are completed

http://netaddiction.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Screen-Smart-Guidelines.pdf

In a 24 hours Period-People need the following activities to be health socially and emotionally

10 hours-Bedtime routine and sleep (no screen 1 hour before bed)

7/8 hours-School or work

1 to 2 hours-Homework

1 hour-Physical Activity (Children need 1 hour per day)

1 hour- Creative time: (Reading books, playing games, art activities, thinking, being board, pretending, etc.)

1 hour-Family Quality Time: Doing activities together, talking together, doing chores together, going to Church, playing together

1 hour-Personal Care-bathing; dressing; cleaning room; doing chores

2-3 hours leftover: Can be screen time if the other activities were prioritized

This website gives tips on healthy use of devices you can implement while using the technology: http://humanetech.com/take-control/

Recommended Ages for Social Media

Most social media websites and apps require that kids be 13 to sign up. Despite what many think, this isn't to limit kids' exposure to inappropriate content but because of the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA), which prevents companies from collecting certain information from kids under 13. See link below to assess if your child is ready for social media. Experts say the child should at least by in 8th grade, 14 years old. See link below to assess if your child is ready for social media-

https://protectyoungeyes.com/whats-right-age-social-media/

Easier Tips for Controlling Device and Internet Use in the Family:

Keep the computer in a common area-never in the bedroom

Add parent protection on all device

Implement a device curfew and a common charging station

Implement rules where all responsibilities and healthy activities need to occur before screen time. Count Screen time as TV time, video game time, ipad use, phone use.

Have rules about where devices can be: Not at the dinner table, not at a restaurant, not in the car unless it will be a long road trip,

Model good Device Use Rules as a Caregiver:

-Put the phone away when driving.

-Model being bored and entertaining self as much as possible. In waiting rooms, play ‘I Spy,’ bring a book and read, read a magazine, talk, etc.

-Use it intentionally. Keep the healthy habits rules too. “I’m going to use my Kindle App to ready my book on my device.” “I exercised and read for an hour-I think I will play on my phone.” “I think I heard a text come through. I will wait until I get to my destination before I check it.” “Finding music on my phone while driving is just as bad as texting-will you pick a Pandora station for me?”

-Put it away when speaking with your child about anything-use eye contact.

-Don’t be a ‘distracted parent’ If you are parenting while looking at your phone, you are not parenting. You are giving your child the message that whatever is on the phone is more important than them.

-Use the app Moment and track one another’s time; set goals-good for self-monitoring of teens and adults. Children 9th grade and under need limits. Teach them about the addictive qualities.

-Set up family fasting rules: No screen time on one Sunday of the month. No screen time during the week. No screen time for all of us for one whole week. http://netaddiction.com/

Belongingness-The biggest basic need after food/water/shelter

Children who feel that they belong at school are happier, more relaxed and have fewer behavioral problems than other students. They are also more motivated to learn and be more successful with their school work. Research into children’s mental health has found that a sense of belonging and connectedness at school helps to protect children against mental health difﬁculties and improves their learning. Making friends and having positive relationships with teachers helps children develop a sense of belonging at school. Children will find a way to belong, even if it’s with unhealthy relationships. Meet this need at home first. Children need to feel like they belong to their family. Offer opportunities for children to build social groups and spend time without devices.

• Talk to other parents about internet safety when your child spends time other places

• When kids spend the night, have a ‘no device’ rule for a set amount of time. Use the curfew. Make screen time intentional and not a response to feeling bored or nervous.

Signs and Behaviors that your child could be addicted to screen time-

• Preoccupation or obsession with Internet apps.

• Withdrawal symptoms when not using Internet apps (anxiety, anger, lack of focus).

• A build-up of tolerance–more and more time needs to be spent using the apps.

• The child has tried to stop or curb playing Internet games or using the apps, but has failed to do so.

• The child has had a loss of interest in other life activities, such as hobbies.

• A child has had continued overuse of Internet games even with the knowledge of how much they impact their life.

• The child lied to others about his or her Internet usage.

• The child uses Internet activity to manage negative feelings–it’s a way to relieve anxiety and escape.

• The child has lost or put at risk an opportunity or relationship because of Internet activity.

ONE HOUR A DAY, ONE DAY A WEEK, ONE WEEK A YEAR

PROTECT

• RESTRICT

• FILTER

• MONITOR

Set Boundaries.

1. Set times and choose appropriate ages to have social media.

2. It’s a privilege.

3. Parents own the device.

4. Charge it in the kitchen.

5. Know all their accounts and passwords and check them on a regular basis.

6. Trust, but verify.

7. Be friends on social networks.

8. Start while they are young.

9. Know who they are connecting with.

10. Check it at the door.

11. Sign on the dotted line…A Contract

How to talk to your children about limits and boundaries.

I cannot stress enough that with any restrictions on technology and Internet use, it is important to speak to your child about why you have set these restrictions, and the risks associated with their online behavior.” James Diamond, E-Safety & Safeguarding Trainer

The most important thing is their heart. They need to know you love them…really love them… Your relationship means more than anything. Be engaged. Give them your time. They may think you are strict and say that all their friends are allowed to do this or that, but if they understand you are doing this because you love and care about them it is much easier. Later, they will thank you.

RESTRICT: Parental Restrictions and Device Settings.

Depending on the type of device, the steps are very different.

Links to instructions are available ___________________

FILTER: Software and Home Protection

Web Filtering – Free at OpenDNS.com

MONITOR: Inspect What You Expect

Social network monitoring

Location Services

App Installs – check for hidden apps, require parental approval

Alternative to Smart Phone or Even Flip Phones: Gizmopal and Gizmogadget.

https://www.verizonwireless.com/connected-devices/lg/

Apps and Social Media

1. Snapchat

2. Facebook

3. Instagram

4. Twitter

5. Tumblr

6. Music.ly

7. Messaging Apps: WhatsApp, Kik

8. Live-Streaming Apps: Houseparty, Live.ly, YouNow, Live.me

9. Ipad Messaging

10. Hidden Apps

Many of the hidden apps are rated at 4+

Video Games

1. Ratings http://www.pluggedin.com/

2. Violence

3. They are REACTIVE VS. PROACTIVE

4. Addiction

Immediate action steps for all your devices:

1. Go through and set the built in parent controls. (Disable the ability to install any apps.)

2. Go through every app and make sure you know what it does. If unsure, you do a web search.

3. Disable the YouTube app or turn the safety/strict filtering on.- YOUTUBE KIDS

4. Talk to your kids about the why as you set boundaries and restrictions.

5. Go to www.google.com/preferences and turn on Google safety.

Don’t forget about these other huge influences on our families: MUSIC, TV - Time/Content, Pornography.

Statistics

1. In the U.S., 52% of pornography is accessed on smartphones; 10% on tablets.

The Inquisitr, December 26, 2013

2. 64% of American men view porn at least monthly, the percentage of Christian men is nearly the same.

3. Initial age of porn exposure – 11

4. A recent survey of 800 young people showed:

Most teenage boys view it 2-3 times per week, on their phone or bedroom computer. 2/3 of those between 11 and 13 had viewed porn

83% stumbled on it accidentally… IOL Lifestyle, September 3, 2013

5. 90% of teenagers have viewed porn.

80% of 15-17 year olds have been exposed to hard core porn.

67% of men and 59% of women said that porn was acceptable. (Campus Crusade for Christ staff. Christian Post, 7-16-2011)

6. 70% of 18 to 34 year olds use porn once a month. From a Cosmopolitan survey, as quoted by Medical Daily, January 20, 2013

A. Help & Accountability

1. Open DNS on the Home Internet opendns.com wi-fi protection only

2. Covenant Eyes: www.covenanteyes.com, Ever Accountable, xxxchurch.com

Appreciate