Sitting in science class, I looked around and saw people that I have known all last year. I knew all of them since last year. They all were sociable people, talking to each other like a flock of birds in the spring-their chirping being heard throughout the classroom. I sat in the desk away from them in the right-hand side of the classroom. I decided not to talk to them or submerge with them in the pool of excitement. I chose to be quiet. I thought concentrating on the work in school would be priority. Later on, I would learn it was the one of the worst mistakes I did. My shyness with the slight frown upon my face was a mask. My mask was fickle on it own, sometimes upbeat and enthusiastic, other times sullen. If I talked to them, I would have friends. For sure, I wouldn't feel melancholy when I saw other kids with their friends going to each other's house on Fridays. If I had just talked with them, maybe I would have given off more joy to the world. I would have made a difference. I would have changed another person's life for the better. However, my mind was shut and I didn't know that it would slowly destroy me;who knew what it would do to other people-I never took the chance. It was the start of Semester One, and the journey had started off on the bad foot because of me.
I was dressed in a red cardigan and jeans as I walked down the halls of Ann's Place Christmas celebration. Surrounding me were hundreds of people preparing for the auction of millions of things-from quilts to paintings. I was volunteering for Key Club along with two other students by stapling booklets of the itineary-again and again. I looked up at all the other volunteers doing errands. They were almost like the beautiful weeds on a field. Like a weed, they were never uprooted from their task-giving people the beauty of humility and giving. Ann's Place was a field of these flowers-who ever said weeds weren't beautiful? After all, weeds are persistent and humble, just like the people in the atmosphere of Ann's Place. Humility and persistence was something I needed. Right then and there, I decided to choose to be this way. To be that way, I would have to be outgoing and not shy all the time. I learned something from this moment in the journey. Perhaps not being sociable will give one success in school, but not in life. This lesson taught me something valuable in my journey. It would teach me to be more confident, more sure of who I am. It would make me more confident in church when I sing because I finally realized that I didn't have to be a star and that I should just sing to praise Jesus. After that, I was persistent enough to sing the song well-to sing like I should have always sung it.
Everything about that room shook my entire body, and my fingers would lose control. It was a large and spacious room with a piano and a bench. Above my head was a large spotlight. Although no sound came from it, I felt like that bright light was screaming loud noise filling the entire room so my ice fingers would break. I felt like the entire room, my piano teacher, the piano, and my fingers consisted of ice. If I missed one note or hesitated on a line, my shaking fingers would shatter across the keyboard along with my dignity, pride, and everything else around me. Every time I walked into the room for my piano lesson every Wednesday, that is what the room felt like: a place of ice that would freeze fingers so I could not play the piano correctly and would instead break my glass-like fingers. However, today I decided differently I would have that persistence that I needed to work on and that confidence I had lost long ago. I straightened my back, just as I had seen confident people do, and played the sonata. Without a doubt, I had messed up several times and repeated the same mistake from last week. I learned an important lesson, though. Sometimes, in order to be confident and persistent, one had to intentionally think it in the mind and believe it. Nervousness cannot be stopped by telling the hand to stop quivering so much. One has to believe it, and bathe in the belief that he or she can do it. This lesson learned impacted my greatly for the rest of the semester. I knew that I didn't have to be afraid when giving a presentation in school or playing piano for my teacher anymore. This made me enjoy the music much more and work on my mistakes rather than scold myself again and again. People would view me as a much more stronger and trustworthy person. It was the first step to furthering a real career in music.
Sitting on another piano bench, again I felt that same nervousness from my piano lesson start an internal earthquake in my body that spread to my fingers and legs. This time, I was at my church, Northville Baptist Church, getting ready to perform the song "Trust In You" by Lauren Daigle while I sing and play the keyboard. Northville Baptist Church wasn't a place I usually felt nervous, though. The events and the people of the church flowed along calmly and kindly. Then there were times when there was sudden rush of emotions for me, usually around the time when I went to perform a song to the congregation. However, for the most part, Northville Baptist Church stood along this symbol of tranquility. So as I sat down on the bench, I remembered what the church stood for and the confidence I was trying to achieve. I closed my eyes and pretended I was at home, playing the piano while surrounded by my little brother playing Legos and my mom making dinner. I breathed and played the song emotionally. When my fingers finished playing, they did not shatter upon the black and white keys. Instead, everyone clapped and I felt so joyful. I learned that forgetting what the audience thinks is all it takes to unleash the passion. With this feat, I would be even more confident every time I sung on Sundays. People would be more impacted by the song and words and not by nervous hand twirling my hair before every performance. By this confidence, I would impact people and myself in a more positive way than before.
My mother and I entered PeachWave, the frozen yogurt shop, as a reward after all the hard work on Midterm exams. I had entered the frozen yogurt shop many times before with my family. It has always been such a happy place. We always laugh and talk positively, goofy, and peppy as we eat delicious frozen yogurt while sitting on the rainbow-colored chairs. I decided that going into the future, I would laugh and be a little more calm with people and situations. I have always been a perfectionist who is serious when stressed. However, I learned throughout semester one that no matter what happened, "all will end well". If I kept on with working on my confidence, humility, music, passion, and laughter, I would be a better person and would change other people's live positively as well with positive vibe. Semester two would then turn out fine, and my freshman year would end on a good note.