Puppies Invade Clemson

The date was August 31st, 2016. Football season was in full swing at Clemson University. Students could be found innocently enjoying the celebrations of a great American sport. They were loving life and participating in longevity. The mascot was handing out high-fives, taking selfies, and doing a series of never-ending push-ups. The Tigers were dominating, the cheerleaders were flipping and the students were screaming. Children waved their sweaty hands while daddy's held them up to see Dabo coaching the soon-to-be number one college football team in America.

But things were about to change. Out of nowhere, a swarm of puppies antagonized Clemson's campus. Initially, there was virtually no effect on the students since everyone was in Death Valley. No student ever misses a Clemson football game.

But the puppies came by the hundreds, quickly outnumbering the residential squirrels! Their eyes were big and could melt a heart in three seconds. Their fur was so soft and cuddly it could make one's hand go numb upon immediate contact. They were cute in pictures but even cuter running down a hill....especially one hill in particular. The "most exciting for 25 seconds" kind of hill.

When the young canines reached the gate of Death Valley, it was the beginning of the end. They stormed the stadium, trampling over anyone and anything in their way. Pretty soon you could hear the sound of wailing and yelling as college girls reacted to the cuteness. Crying girls were to be seen all around. Some even collapsed into a fetal position as a result of witnessing the overwhelming joy and love that comes from seeing the face of a sweet puppy.

Most men laugh at the way girls react to puppies. They say they don't understand. But on this day men could be seen cuddling with the new intruders and feeding them hotdogs. Even worse, the football team was distracted. The players appeared to be....frolicking....with the puppies?

This is the story of how the Clemson Tigers lost a football game. It truly is the only reasonable explanation for a loss.

The moral of the story is: if you want to know a Tiger's weakness, just find a puppy.


Created with images by jonkriz - "Puppy" • karenwarfel - "puppy dog pet" • Pezibear - "dog young dog small dog" • Kdsphotos - "puppy dog cute" • tpsdave - "puppy dog animal" • Nantaskart! - "Lilly" • Sweet Carolina Photography - "CU vs. Duke 2008 044- Dabo's new tradition" • West Point - The U.S. Military Academy - "22 Annual Bataan Death March- 004"

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