Lilian Quinn | October 7, 2019
I don’t know if you’ve ever used a face mask in the dark. By face mask, of course, I don’t mean the serial killer kind; I mean the skincare kind. I mention this only because it’s amazing. Naturally, your skin benefits, but so does your soul. You see, if, as my friends and I did, you have a face mask on–– and of course they’re white and cover your face in a strange way–– and you run around in a pack in the dark and press your faces up against windows, well, people are bound to be frightened and scream very loudly, which is quite amusing. And really, even in the light, we still scared the bejeezus out of Madame Novak, who was no doubt concerned, and rightly, too, that this was the newest way to hide the illicit prison face tattoos one has gotten in the woods from one’s chaperones.
On Halloween, for example, I don’t see why you shouldn’t seize the opportunity to nourish your skin and get an extremely frightening costume in the bargain. Think about it: no one will see anything but a flappy white face slowly approaching them in the darkness, and if you make some good scary noises or get some friends to join you, they’ll practically wet themselves. I honestly can’t think of anything scarier, because everyone will assume someone with a chainsaw or wearing a bear outfit is in costume (which might prove dangerously naïve should chainsaw-wielding bears invade), but to them, you’ll be a mysterious creature. And you’ll smell gently of coconut.