The serene night seemed timeless, the quite blanket of murmurs and thoughts having rustled the bystanders into quiet solidarity; each to their own conventions, each to their own stride. Yet, some secrets were left privy, out in the open, left to the flashing cameras, the caution tape, and the quietly parked police van on the side.
Without looking up from his notepad, Deputy Brookers approached the woman in front of the caution tape. “Officer Henley.”
“Report?”
“Uh…”
He perked his ears, misreading the hesitation in her voice as nervousness. “It’s simple, Henley--I know it’s your first day--or case, as it’s rather late, but…”
“Uh…..”
“Is there something the matter--why are you staring up? Officer Henle--”
It clattered to the ground. She winced--she really would have preferred to have stayed back in the police station left to her own devices. Embarrassed, she still faced the glass panel while conversing with the man behind her.
“...Henley.”
“Yes, Deputy Brookers?”
“What were you doing with that pen.”
“...Balancing it on my lip, sir, it’s called...nosepenning...”
“How long were you balancing that pen on your lip.”
“...A while, sir.”
“Put the pen back in your pocket--let’s get back on topic-- and that means facing the actual crime scene, Officer Henley. Thank you. Tell me what you see here.”
“Sir, it looks like a food fight happened before the actual fight.” The alleyway was certainly aglow--red, copper bearing fruit lay on the ground. And behind the dumpster. And on the walls.
“Oh! So just a food fight? Guess we’re not meant to be here!” She exaggeratedly attempts to sidle along the wall outside the alley.
“No--latter means--Officer Henley.”
“Sir?”
“Please come back here.”
She grumbled.
“What was that?”
“...”
“Officer Henley, is this a joke to you?”
“N-not at all, sir! I’m just quite nervous--if I could get my pen back on my nose...”
He clicked his pen against his notepad. “I’ve just canvassed the area, there are some potential witnesses in the local restaurants--come inside, now, Henley--let’s ask one of those chefs over there. Hello--we’re part of the police department--could we ask you a few questions?”
“There was a murder nearb--”
“Oh god, is everyone alright?”
“Well...no. Someone died.”
“I mean--you know what I mean…”
“Uh...” He clears his throat, “Anyways, if could we ask you a few que--”
“Yeah I think saw someone suspicious last night.”
“Oh--really? You got a notepad, Henley? Write his comments down (“Yes, sir”)... Ok--so he’s described as--yes?”
“You sure it’s a he?”
“Do you have evidence that it’s a she?”
“Well, I mean--what if they don’t… ”
“Dont…?”
“What if like...you know...“
Deputy Brookers ignores to break the pause. “How did you know the murder happened last night?”
“I… guess because I didn’t see it until I got here in the evening?”
Deputy Brookers looks at him expectantly. The chef panics, eyes bulging.
“I-I don’t know man! You’re staring at me and I don’t know what I’m saying--”
“You don’t know what you’re saying?”
“Sir! He has a valid point!” She interjected vociferously--in serious thought.
“Does he?!”
“Yes!...”
“...Well?!”
“Well! Well! What if he...what if it wasn’t him?!”
“There isn’t a him to begin with, Henley! Furthermore, we’ve already broached this topic of gender.”
“White! He’s white!”
“...What?!”
“Blond.”
“Mmhmm.”
“Tall. Around 6 foot?”
“Mmhmm.”
“His stride is very unique, like a crab…”
“Ooh! Ooh! Taylor Swift!”
“Officer Henley--”
“Sorry, sir!”
“I have changed my decision!”
“Decision! Sir--what is your name?”
“Just call me Hibachi.”
“That’s a cool name for a witness statement!”
“Hibachi you cannot simply change your witness statement! Is it a man?”
“Yes!...Actuall-”
“Yes?”
“...Asian?”
“Hibachi--I am this close to labelling you as unreliable.”
“Ok! Ok!...He’s Asian.”
“Yes?”
“Like 5’9”?”
“Right.”
“I think that’s pretty much it for now...can I let you guys know if I think of anything else?”
“Sure. I guess we’re done here, Officer Henley.”
“Oh! Wait! I have a new dish--would you like to sample it?”
“It’s been a long afternoon...why not.”
“Alright!”
“...”
“Henley.”
“What a ridiculous combo--nosepenning and hibachi style food--thank you. Wow, only vegetables.”
“Yes! We’re going low carbon footprint and everything.”
“Well Henley, you can’t eat with a pen on your lip--put it in your pocket. So, Hibachi--mm, it’s delicious--have you guys always done vegetable dishes?”
“Only me! I’ve made the decision a few weeks ago.”
“Hmm? Yes, deputy? Or is something else tapping my leg…”
“Hibachi.”
“Yes?”
“If you’ve been doing vegetable dishes all this time...might I ask why your frock has bloodstains all over it?!”
“OH MY GOD! HE’S GETTING AWAY!”
“I can see that, Officer Henley! Quick--your gun--”
“HE’S THROWING YELLOWTAIL TO SLOW US DOWN. AN EXPENSIVE TACTIC.”
“DAMMIT DEPUTY--GET YOUR DAMN GUN AND SHOOT THE MAN!”
“ I DONT HAVE THE GUN, DEPUTY! IT’S IN MY DRAWER!”
“WAIT! HENLEY, YOUR PEN--NO DO NOT NOSEPEN JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN--”
“I’LL GET HIM THROUGH THE BACK!”
“Henley! There isn’t a back through the alleyway!”
It was too late, she rushed outside, back into the crime scene, attempting to corner the man with no sense of frugality--
She came to terms with a brick wall. Strands of hair askew and in her flushed, excited face, her discarded pen on the hibachi table, having slowly melted into a ruddy, brown puddle.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjAi9Ohp8HXAhUJ9mMKHW_RAwwQjhwIBQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.yelp.com%2Fevents%2Fphotos%2F0Db_3y8WlDTtqhzOM3XEPg%3Fselect%3D_ONP-xGa0PzspOielT53Sw&psig=AOvVaw2CrjLK_DzMrcWrflsaOLA4&ust=1510859002829221
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi-3f3Hp8HXAhUX5GMKHd_eDE4QjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Ftwinfinite.net%2F2016%2F08%2Ffor-all-the-love-pokemon-sun-and-moons-rowlet-has-its-got-the-lamest-z-move%2Fcorgi%2F&psig=AOvVaw2CrjLK_DzMrcWrflsaOLA4&ust=1510859002829221
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjU8c7Xp8HXAhUC0mMKHU__DJ8QjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ukcorgiclub.com%2Fcalendar%2F2016-calendar%2Fspring%2F&psig=AOvVaw2CrjLK_DzMrcWrflsaOLA4&ust=1510859002829221
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjTz_fup8HXAhVK-mMKHWo2Di0QjRwIBw&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fthecutestcorgis%2Fstatus%2F855463650861228033&psig=AOvVaw2CrjLK_DzMrcWrflsaOLA4&ust=1510859002829221
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=0ahUKEwijwZT7p8HXAhUL9mMKHd59AA4QjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.viralspell.com%2Fwednesdays-cutest-spring-is-here-and-corgi-is-happy-about-it-i-think%2F&psig=AOvVaw2CrjLK_DzMrcWrflsaOLA4&ust=1510859002829221
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjg5cSRqMHXAhVV9GMKHcTyBBcQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthedailycorgi.com%2F2017%2F02%2Fwest-side-corgi-feel-pretty.html&psig=AOvVaw2CrjLK_DzMrcWrflsaOLA4&ust=1510859002829221
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi08s2jqMHXAhVP1WMKHbQrCHoQjRwIBw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.suggestedpost.eu%2Fcorgi-police-dog%2F&psig=AOvVaw3ZWQGrC5vLTg5_I6NfZ-AR&ust=1510860540954686
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjqqIqxqMHXAhUBTmMKHWVOBpgQjRwIBw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F522276888018218157%2F&psig=AOvVaw38msmEap12tTibg2hCFpeo&ust=1510860574048271