Where I've Been To my loves, penelope and telemachus

More than a couple of years after the war, I was sent off by the wind to Ismaros, on the far shore, a strong point on the coast of the Cicones. I fought all the men who fought back and enslaved the women, but my foolish men were too busy taking the wine from the shops and butchering sheep after sheep and didn't bother to listen to me. The people of their home ran to tell the main Cicones army what had happened, You should have seen how many of them were there. My men fought off the army while retreating back to the ship.
After we had fled from the Cicones, we came upon the coastline of the Lotus Eaters to store up on water. So I sent my men to see what we might come upon on the land. These plants were so tasty, but very dangerous. Once you eat even one flower your mind goes blank and forget what your task is and continue to eat more Lotus Eaters.
Once had stopped my men from taking the plants, we had fled off to new land and me being very brave and curious we ended up in a cyclops cave. This one eyed giant devoured two of my men, but I am the one that put the cyclops to sleep and blinded him for us to escape.
I then came across a small island and met King of wind, Aeolia and told me how Poseidon was trying to delay me from getting home. He then gave me a bag of all stormy winds which could take me home.
The men we came across were the most craziest Giants you'll ever hear about, they would eat each other. These Giants ate mortals like us and Giants like themselves. They ate plenty of my men and destroyed plenty of my ships, but we managed to escape thanks to me.
Now once we reached shore all us men were hungry enough to eat one another, but I had sent a group of men to go find some food for us all. But soon later I found out that my group of men that were sent out to find food, were turned into swine. So me being the leader and most brave of all, I search for who and what kind of person would do this to my men. I then was stopped by the god Hermes to give me a plant to eat. Then I meet Circe who tried to turn me into swine but the plant had saved me. She then forced me to make love with her she told me that none of my men will be turned back into men if I didn't make love.
After Circe had forced me to sleep in bed with her she had told me to visit the land of the dead to find out what my future holds for me, if i'd ever see my home and family again. Once I had risen Teiresias up he had told me that I will make it back home but it'd be a long await. So then I left back to my ship.
Circe gives me beeswax to plug my men's ears because this group of these woman's voices were like voices of angels. And if you listened to what they were singing you'd be stuck in a trance forever and do anything you can to get to them. But being as curious as I am, I told my men to tie me up to the ship that way I can listen to their voices without leaving.
This under water beast was one of the most scariest things i've ever seen. Circe had told me a prophecy that I will be the only one that will survive...The rest of my crew wouldn't make it back home.
After I had escaped the Charybdis we came across Scylla. I had told my men nothing for they would have dropped everything in panic and hid under the seats. So I, being the hero took spears and threw them at this giant beast. And of course me ending the last of the Scylla's days.
After that horrific event, we found safe land or so we thought. Once we reached shore. I told my men not to kill and eat any of the cattle of the sun god. But my men being foolish, they do not listen to me, so Helios casts a spell
Her name was Calypso. She had found me in the seas and lured me to her island and made me stay for 10 long years. If I didn't stay she wouldn't have let me go back home for another 20 years. So I had to sleep with her every night for the past ten years because she had forced me to.
I was soon found by daughter of Alcinous, King of the Phaeacians for they had invited me for a feast. But before I had to identify myself and what I was doing, then after that I was able to eat the delicious food.
Once I had reached home I had to hide under dirty rags and old clothes so no one would make a big deal. So I hid for quite a while until one god got tired of waiting and made me look godly. I had revealed myself to you, my son first because I knew you wouldn't tell anyone, then you Penelope. But I King of Ithaca am back to rule this land with my family.

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