I'm Ready to Have a Conversation About Domestic Violence With You That Nobody Has Been Willing to Touch Before
I believe in being candid about the truths behind domestic violence because there's too much at stake not to be! I can say with complete confidence that no expert on domestic violence is more entrenched in the field. I've made it my life's mission to educate and inform people on how to recognize and break dangerous interpersonal cycles. In my work, I provide tools to help people:
- Identify ecosystems of violence.
- Remove themselves from unhealthy situations.
- Avoid ecosystems of violence.
- Live their full radiant potential.
In my career as a domestic violence expert and strategist, I work with family law attorneys, judges, educators, law enforcement, mental health providers and medical doctors to evaluate and manage domestic violence risks every single day. I also help both victims and perpetrators present cases in court. Nobody knows domestic violence from every angle like me.
That's because domestic violence isn't just my life's work. It's also my personal story.
In addition to surviving domestic violence, I also played the role of perpetrator through a vicious cycle of unhealthy behaviors that I had no way of understanding at the time. I reveal this openly to my clients because I feel that it's essential to be honest about the tumultuous loss of self that often occurs in ecosystems of violence that can blur the lines separating victim from perpetrator. I didn't realize that victims, once they become fully engaged in the cycle of abuse, are often pushed to the point of "fighting back" — until I became a domestic violence researcher. This can create a cycle of shame and self-blame that prevents many victims of domestic violence from reaching out for help.
From Darkness to Light: How a Victim Became an Advocate
I'm not ashamed to say that my career began in the darkest of places. Domestic violence took my family, my child, my friends, and my sanity before I uncovered the underlying mechanisms behind why I had let myself get caught up in an ecosystem of violence consisting of controlling behaviors, financial abuse, and physical abuse. Misunderstood by doctors and legal professionals, I endured a mental breakdown that ultimately led me to return to college to pursue academic research related to the field of domestic violence. It was during this period that I discovered Dr. Evan's Stark work on coercive control. This information changed my recovery and my life. Because of this, I want to do the same for others.