Many people have the misconception that domestic violence is only physical abuse, however, it is much deeper than that. Actions or threats that influence another person are part of DV.
Domestic Violence includes
- Physical Abuse
- Psychological Abuse
- Sexual Abuse
- Emotional Abuse
- Economic Abuse
Manifested in behaviors that
- Injure or wound
Many people believe that DV only happens to urban poverty-stricken minority women, when in actuality, this is not the case.
Domestic Violence is a social problem because anyone can experience it, regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, income, religion, or nationality.
Women and men can be victims of domestic violence .
Domestic Violence does not only affect those being abused but has significant effects on family members, friends, co-workers, witnesses, and the community.
Domestic Violence is most common among women aged 18-24
- 1 in 3 women are a victim of some form of physical violence by an intimate partner during their lifetime.
- A majority of physical abuse is committed by dating partners rather than spouses.
- More than 75% of women aged 18-49 who are abused were previously abused by the same abused were previously abused by the same perpetrator
- 40% of female murder victims are killed by intimate partners
- 76% of women who are killed by intimate partners and 85% of women who survive homicide attempts are stalked prior to the murder or attempted murder.
Physiological and Emotional Abuse
- 95% of men who physically abuse their intimate partners also psychologically abuse them.
- Women who earn 65% or more of their households’ income are more likely to be psychologically abused than women who earn less than 65% of their households’ income.
- 17.9% of women have experienced a situation where an intimate partner tried to keep them from seeing family and friends.
- 14%-25% of women are sexually assaulted by intimate partners during their relationship.
- Between 40 and 45 percent of women in abusive relationships will also be sexually assaulted during the course of the relationship.
- Only 36 percent of all rape victims ever report the crime to the police. The percentage of married women who report a spousal rape to the police is even lower. Marital rape is the most underreported form of sexual assault
- Between 94-99% of domestic violence survivors have also experienced economic abuse.
- Between 21-60% of victims of domestic violence lose their jobs due to reasons stemming from the abuse.
Male Victims of DV
- 1 in 4 men have been victims of some form of physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime.
- Male rape victims and male victims of non-contact unwanted sexual experiences reported predominantly male perpetrators.
- Nearly half of stalking victimizations against males were also perpetrated by males.
- Perpetrators of other forms of violence against males were mostly female.
"Red Flags" Of an Abuser
- Wants to move too quickly into the relationship.
- Early in the relationship flatters you constantly, and seems "too good to be true."
- Wants you all to him- or herself; insists that you stop spending time with your friends or family.
- Insists that you stop participating in hobbies or activities, quit school, or quit your job.
- Does not honor your boundaries.
- Is excessively jealous and accuses you of being unfaithful.
- Wants to know where you are all of the time and frequently calls, emails, and texts you throughout the day.
- Criticizes or puts you down; says you are crazy, stupid, and/or fat/unattractive, or that no one else would ever want or love you.
- Takes no responsibility for his or her behavior and blames others.
- Has a history of abusing others.
- Blames the entire failure of previous relationships on his or her former partner; for example, "My ex was totally crazy."
- Takes your money or runs up your credit card debt.
- Rages out of control with you but can maintain composure around others.
WHY DO PEOPLE STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS?
One of the most common questions people ask about victims of domestic violence is, “Why don’t they just leave?” People stay in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons including:
- The victim fears the abuser’s violent behavior will escalate if (s)he tries to leave.
- The abuser has threatened to kill the victim, the victim’s family, friends, pets, children and/or himself/her-self.
- The victim loves his/her abuser and believes (s)he will change.
- The victim believes abuse is a normal part of a relationship.
- The victim is financially dependent on the abuser.
- The abuser has threatened to take the victim’s children away if (s)he leaves. • The victim wants her/his children to have two parents.
- The victim’s religious and/or cultural beliefs preclude him/her from leaving.
- The victim has low self-esteem and believes (s)he is to blame for the abuse. • The victim is embarrassed to let others know (s)he has been abused.
- The victim has nowhere to go if (s)he leaves.
- The victim fears retribution from the abuser’s friends and/or family.
O be careful little eyes what you see...O be careful little ears what you hear...O be careful little hands what you do...O be careful little feet where you go...O be careful little mouth what you say...
Because of the muddled portrayal of Domestic Violence, we, as in the informed members of society, must be aware of the affect music, movies, news, and other media outlets have on our perception.
Music desensitizes the seriousness of domestic violence through its lyrics.
She f***ing hates me and I love it.
"Wait! Where you going?""I'm leaving you!"
"No you ain't. Come back."
We're running right back.
Here we go again
It's so insane cause when it's going good, it's going great
I'm Superman with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane
But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snapped
Who's that dude?
"I don't even know his name."
I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
DRUNK IN LOVE
Beyonce ft. Jay-Z
Jay-Z is a talented rapper. His usage of double entendres gives his music depth.
Catch a charge I might, beat the box up like Mike, In ’97 I bite, I’m Ike, Turner, turn up. Catch a charge I might. Baby no I don't play, now eat the cake, Anna Mae. Said, Eat the cake, Anna Mae!"
(played by Octavia Spencer)
Does not want to go home after getting fired because she fears the abuse she will endure from her husband
Her friend sees bruises on Minny’s arm
After experiencing repeated violence at the hands of her husband, Minny eventually chooses to leave with her children.
Athletes in the News
- Suspended from NFL after footage of knocking fiancé unconscious after one blow to the face
- Janay marries him one month after video is leaked to public
- NFL overturns their suspension of Rice as a player in the 2015 games
- Rice said that if an NFL team is willing to sign him to a contract this season, he'd be willing to play for free.
- Instead of collecting a paycheck, Rice would donate everything he earns to a domestic violence program.
- Charged with domestic violence against her half-sister and nephew
- U.S. Soccer Federation did not suspended or benched Solo
- She continued to play for 2 years after her domestic violence case.
- Solo was suspended and terminated from her national team contract in August 2016 for saying that the Sweden women's national football team "played like cowards."
Education on every level in a society is imperative to make a change.
Preschools, Elementary Schools, Middle Schools, and High Schools should all be providing age appropriate tools for children identify what abuse is and what a healthy relationship looks like. Each school should not only educate the students, but also all faculty and staff need to be aware of the signs of DV.
Higher learning environments need to openly speak about domestic violence as well. Colleges and Universities need to hold seminars, and provide services for students if they ever find themselves in an abusive relationship.
Need to provide more workshops for the employees on how to deal with patients that come in. From doctors to custodians of the facility.
The National Network to End Domestic Violence‘s Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Fact Sheet states that approximately 37% of women seeking injury-related treatment in hospital emergency rooms were there because of injuries inflicted by a current or former spouse/partner.
More in depth training on how to deal with a victim and an abuser in crisis situations.
Religious Places/Community Centers/Organizatians
Shed light onto domestic violence issues during sermons, special community events etc.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-787-3224 (TTY for Deaf/hard of hearing)
Get in Contact with Your Local County's Family Services
The United States Department of Justice
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence