Poetry By fabiola gamboa

Table of Contents

Take A Closer Look

Guide Me Through The Way

Lost

Look At Me Now

Change

If Only You Listened

Dream Room

Not Again

May We Meet Again

Take A Closer Look

Social Media

Always Made Me Have Cruel Ideas

What To Be And What Not To Be

Over The Years

I Grew Fear

I Didn't Know What To Be

But....I Couldn't Be Me

I Was Ashmed

All I Wanted Was Fame

Not Even That

I Wasn't Flat

Modeling Isn't A Breeze

You'll Freeze

23,24,25

That's What You Must Be

Numbers Going Through My Head

Waist Not Fit Ahead

Tears Flowing Through My Head

Hitting The Ground

I See The Mirror

All I See Is Tears

This Hour

I'm No Longer Blooming Into A Flower

It Came To Me

This Will Be The Change

No Longer Going Into The Fridge

It's Pain but....I Can'T Gain

This Isn't A Game

People Don't Know

How To Fix This Misery Zone

It Happens And It Stays

If I Don'T Go With The Waist Size

How Will I Fit In

If I Don't

I'll Be Rejected

Look At Me Now

I'm Screaming

It's Decreasing

Now I'm Here With Nothig Near

Bones Showing

Fat No Longer Growing

I Live In This World

That's Filled With Hurals

I Can't Be Happy

It's Not You

.....It's Me

I Can't Think Straight

Dear Mother

I'm Sorry

Please Don't Me For This Being Me

Guild Me Through The Way

One Step

Light Shines

It Can Be Gone

Nothing Can Go Wrong

But I only See Bad When I Should Be Feeling Good

Head Down

Thoughts Thrown To The Ground

They've Fought

And They've Won

I'm Buried Alive In My Own Thoughts

Will I Ever Win?

My World Clasping

While I'm In My Casket

What I Thought I Knew Was Always Thrown Away Like Old News

I Look Left And Right

Lost

Haiku

Stress running

Can't think straight help

Did it leave?

Look At Me Now

WSome Days Are Broad

But, Also Can Be Hard

But, Bare With Me

I'm Just Like You

So Don'T Treat Me Like Fool

I'm Walking In The Hall Filled With Animals

Your Gossip Is So Flammable

I Walk Down With My Lips Slipped

I'm Going To Have A Future

While Your Stand Brutally There

Stop Playing Your Immature Games

You're Not Being Rewarded With A Frame

Your Dumb Choices Are Being Recorded

How Are You Going To Keep Going?

Once School Is Over

The Games Must End Forever

But, What Are You Now?

You Once Knew Me As A Nobody

While Everybody Knew You

While You Were Playing

I Was Trying To Get Ready

When Life Throws You Around

Don't Lay Around

But, Only If You Try

But, You Didn'T Get Far

Quit Whinning And Gossping Now

Before It's Too Late

You Lose Sight In Your Faith

Change

Time doesn't matter, if you've got the passion. We live in a world where your goal is to be the best. You must begin when you take your first baby steps. But, that's far from the truth.

I began dancing when I was eleven years old. In dancing years that's really late to start training in dance for a studio. I'm seven years late. But, I actually began dancing when I was nine years old. It was no special dance studio, with the huge mirror or mural floor. More like my bedroom carpet floor and no mirrors to look at myself dance. It was all beyond my imagination. The idea of dancing across a stage with the spotlight on you and flying free as a bird made me think. Constantly thinking that later it made me want that. When I saw the dancers in the television it came to me that I wanted to do that even more. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I wanted to actually do it so I did. I didn't start in a studio. I would sit on the carpet floor with my baggy white v neck shirt, pink leggings and my crazy curly hair up in a clean bun. As if I was preparing myself for a dance class. Once I was ready I’d sit on the ground and watch tutorials of dancing. I stretched the way the YouTube dancers did so I'd looked like them. I'd just look at the screen and mimic that myself exactly the way they did. Painful at first but as time flew by it became easier in my eyes.

By the time I had it done everything done it was one of the greatest feelings knowing what I just did. I learned all by myself. Every time I got one done. I just wanted to learn another. But, I didn't want to use YouTube anymore or what I saw on a screen. I wanted a teacher who would teach me the proper ways and techniques of a professional. I wanted to ask my parents the big questions if I could take dance classes even if it was one. I asked, they had said no. I wasn't the happiest person at that moment by my love for dance was still in my heart. I convinced and bothered them till they had no choice because I wouldn't stop bothering them and they'd realize how much I wanted this is. How dance makes me happy. I got the big yes and my heart went bursting for joy. A smile wouldn't wipe off my face. My parents and I looked at studios for me to dance at. It took time and looking but we find the one. Inspiring Dance it was called. The name was just right and suited. We signed up but only for one class. It was good enough for me though. I still got the opportunity to say to myself that I'm dancing at a studio. After signing and waiting for me to begin dance. The time had finally come.

It was a Thursday afternoon when I began my first dance class in the fall of September. I was excited but nervous. I didn't know what to expect but I knew I was ready. Once we stepped in. It was a whole different level than I'd expect. What I thought I knew wasn't enough. It didn't stop me from learning it. I picked it and learned. I did show off my skills in front of the huge mirror to see how I'd look and I got questions if I've danced before. I'd always say no and that today was my first day I’ve ever taken an actually dance class. Everyone was surprised and asked how'd I learned. I said, "All it took was passion, pain, stretching, constant practice and dedication to dance. Oh and some YouTube videos." It was hard to believe but they took it in. I was even ahead of some people who had taken classes for years. Felt good knowing that what I still worked for was enough in reality but there was always some new things to learn in dance.

My dancing didn't take years to achieve and expensive classes but what gave me the opportunity to achieve those goals was my passion for dance. How strong you built yourself to that level. The talent you achieve to be doesn't even have to be a sport it can be making music or art work. Anything you're set up to be. I've always believed that you're more successful when you start at a young age. But, it's not true. Maybe went for some people's stories but not everyone’s. It's not a fact that you'll be more successful if you begin at a young age. The amount of time you put and the account of money you spent on those classes. None of it matters. You won't grow around that talent unless you hold it dear to your heart. You're pouring your beating heart on the amount of dedication and sweating tears to it. If you leave the room knowing you didn't drip a single tear or think to yourself what you could've done better. You're not strongly showing how passionate you are. But, you don't have to take classes to be as good as someone. You can be a natural talent. Do what your gut is telling you to do and do it. No holding back. Surprises could be thrown. I do believe passion isn't counted by time or money but dedication to heart.

If Only You Listened

Dear Mother,

I've written this letter to tell you things that I've still yet unsaid to you. First thing to stay off this is nothing but the truth. No lies just written truth from the heart. To start off......yes you're MY mother. Yes, you raised me to be strong and independent as you are one yourself. You taught us to not rely on people on our way of life. You've taught me to never put my head down and that no one should be able to take my happiness. You're right! You're always right but it doesn't come easy for me to understand that. I suffer from conditions that you don't personally know yourself because you've never stood in that path of obstacles to be happy. Something that you don't realize is you don't know me. You don't know my emotional side. You think you do but you don't. I dint tell you that because I already know what you'll say. Saying the same thing over and over doesn't stick like glue to me. You think I'm happy because I go out and do all these activities. You're wrong. It's an act to be able to satisfy you and not make me a target. I'll be honest though some days I can truly be happy. I won't deny that mother. But, there's days where I go to my bed, put on my favorite slow acoustic music and cry in silent tears. I've cruel till there's nothing left to cry but I feel sleepy soon after because my eyes are washed out. That's why some days I fall asleep early. Something that I know I'll regret doing is telling you how much I love you. I know I'll regret it that but you're a difficult person to say that too. You're more my coach who motivates me to be the best I can possible be. I've never seen you cry real emotional tears. Only happy and that proves to me that you're a woman of your word. I'm blessed to have you as a mother. Proving to her daughter and the world how much she is capable of.

Dream Room

My ideal writing location is in a old fashion castle. Far away where no cars can be heard at any point. But, the castle is looking at upon a horizon when you open the long black lace curtain. Some days the sky would look beyond beautiful with the colors that've been created that you can't even believe it exists in front of your eyes. After that sunset comes down I'd close the black curtains because the sun is heading to another destination and the moon arrives in our eyes. That's when I begin my work. The room would be located at the very top of the castle it'd look similar to the tower Rapunzel would have and that'd be just part of the castle. But, that room would be where my mind set would start at. When you walk into the room it's dim and you'll see a humongous chandelier hanging in the center of the room. As you walk and notice the scent you'll notice it's the smell of Winter Candy Apple. You'll notice why because the amount of candles that surround the room. The most eyedrawling part of the room is the amount of books it upholds. You have to use a ladder in order to grab some of the books. Starting from the bottom to the top. There's hundreds and hundreds of books of different topics that give me inspiration. My wooden desk is centered in the room. Covered in the left side is organized with post notes of ideas to write about. In the right side of my desk upholds pencils and stakes of paper. The room would be quiet. All I would hear is my pencils working against my antient journal. No music, no voices, it's completely quiet. The room gives me an inspiration it's self with everything that's around me not just the books. If I'm ever lost or stressed. I grab myself a hot chocolate with marshmallows in it in a dark navy mug. I'll lean back to my red velvet soft comfortable seat. This gives me opportunities to create a story of whatever desire comes to my kind. This is my ideal dream room

Not Again

Old, tired, advice

-"Everything Will Be Okay."

-"Things Happen For A Reason."

-"Don't Worry About It."

-"You'll Get Over It."

-"You're Overthinking."

-"Who Cares."

My Advice

Life is literally a choice game but held as a fragile glass. You must be wise towards what you want and what you don't want. A common mistake people do but never admit is they choose their decisions based off of friends and social media. No matter how many times you say you didn't. You did. If you make a mistake. That doesn't mean you can't change and redo what you do. You won't obviously be able to take back the moment and you must be able to tell yourself that instead of making yourself miserable with regret. But, something people don't keep track of and I'll tell you. Watch what you did before in the past in order to avoid it. You don't want to repeat and if you do. It wasn't their fault, it's yours. You made the mistake over again. You've already experienced in your past what not to do and you're purposely doing it again if the same event comes back to your life that you tried running away from. Life is a learning process and you don't want to remember some things in eyes so you try forgetting. But, you must be able to be honest with yourself. In the best possible way. A huge tip never post and expose your emotions in media. Go to friends only. Never keep it to yourself. You're just building up your way. You belong in the world. That's why you were sent down. You were built to uphold a purpose in the world

May We Meet Again

I see a grown woman and her kids shivering with fear. The image I see beyond the photo is a mother looking out of her second floor seeing what the world is coming to. She notices the a group of soldiers walking down her neighborhood street. Holding weapons and uniforms she'd never recognized before. Thinking with mischief on why the soldiers are here. A question that she non stop think about was, "Are they coming for us or helping us?" She wouldn't know when that moment would come. All she could do was wait till information or action was acknowledged. As she looks out sitting down on the edge of her undone bed. All of a sudden her two sons are standing by the door arguing at each other. Arguing about who gets to play with the cool toy they'd just recently gotten from their mother. As they came closer where the mother was looking at window. The two sons noticed what their mother was looking at. They noticed the armed solider walking down the street. Hiding their face in herondous fear not knowing why the soilders are here. The mother wished for her husband to be here alive. But, unfortunately the father passed away to the world above. He died from a car accident on his way home just 8 months ago. She just wants to feel safe with his protection against what could be a fight but also the world itself. Standing together with her children. It definitely is one of the most tragic events to ever hit her and her children as a human beings. The children have to grow up once knowing they once had a dad but now have to live without a dad. Wondering why they don't have one. The mother was inspired by the soilders for herself to be the one to protect all three of them as a man would. Knowing to herself by the process her husband will be watching from above the clouds.

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