Adults Misunderstanding Teens By:Bento

On Monday, March 16th, two adults misunderstood two boys who were pretending to be arguing with each other as they played soccer at EARJ's soccer field during lunch time. Harry prepared himself to show all the kids around him that he was good. He looked straight to the ball, realising everyone's eyes was straight at him. He prepared himself. He furiously dashed forward, straight to the soccer ball, when a teenager about his age named Bento screamed: ''You suck Harry!'' although he was acting ironically, and it was just a joke. Harry didn't even look back, his concentration was on the ball. No even more furious, he reached the small soccer ball and kicked as hard as he could and scored. Right after that, with a serious face, he walked fastly to the teenager called Ben and showed him the middle finger. The other teenager laughed joking. And walked right over to Harry. No one knew what would happen next. Bento, acting like it's nothing to worry about, came up in Harry's direction and said playing with a shy smile on his face, ''do you want to fight me, huh?'' Even though he seemed so serious saying that, he didn't take nothing of that action seriously. As both of them got closer to each other, they heard a loud shout. Of course, it was a teacher!

Mrs. Samantha, the EARJ teacher shouted loudly in a worried tone of voice from the cafeteria balcony right on top of the soccer field: ''BENTO, what's going on there huh!!!'' This teacher had her frowned eyebrows and her mouth was open. She was right next to Ms. Andrea Buffara, the EARJ MS Principal. They both looked with a serious face over to Bento and Harry, with a serious expression which someone could have if Bento really hit Harry, which would never happen.

Bento looked with a worried face over to Ms. Andrea and the teacher, and said: ''Um nothing,'' and turned his face around without even looking at Harry and continued playing soccer with the other kids. Ms. Andrea and the teacher continued talking silently on the cafeteria balcony and looking over to Bento and Harry. After a while both of the ladies left the balcony. Bento immediately dashed over to Harry and said: ''You know I was kidding right? You're not bad!'' Harry responded: ''I know it was all a joke!'' Bento said: ''I'm worried if we get in trouble about something that didn't even happen! If Ms. Buffara asks you what happened, you say we were only playing, and we weren't actually in a fight!'' Harry agreed, and continued playing. Bento said when asked about the event: ''Well, I felt kind of nervous when I saw the two teachers thinking something serious had happened involving Harry and me. I was worried that I might have gotten in trouble because of something silly, since that's how all teenagers play.''

The problem is that even though for the teens these arguments aren't a big deal, for the adults it is because they can see further than the teens as they have a lot more experience of life than them and know that maybe these arguments could lead to bigger and more serious things.

Survey answered by the 8th graders from E.A.R.J. Most of them think adults keep worrying to much about their actions and they do get annoyed.

According to Anelise Pacheco, ''Sometimes adults get really worried about fights between adolescents because they fear that they are going to use violence as a tool in life to solve problems. It's a big issue because it can reach big proportions where you don't have any control of the situation and people can be harmed, seriously injured, and worst of all think that violence is a good strategy to solve problems, even if the adolescents in case are just cursing at each other. A solution is never punishment or shouting to the teens since it is a part of violence, it is conversation or reason. If adults are against violence they shouldn't use it as a strategy as well. Another solution would be to hear the teens reason for having argued.''

Another point of view is from an EARJ teacher, Ms. Megee, ''As a teacher one of my first priorities is students’ safety and if I see a situation that looks like it might be unsafe than legally and morally I have to take action to prevent the danger. It also depends what the teacher has seen that day. If they see a lot of worries on the day, they might act differently than if they were in a calm day. ''

As Anelise Pacheco's said, a good solution for adults would be to never punish the teens if they see the teens arguing with each other, and also listen to the teen's perspective of what happened to understand better the argument by talking to the teens. A good solution for teens is never to try to fight with each other even if it is nothing serious, since it could lead to a bigger issue that could get someone injured even by accident. Teens should never resolve a problem by fighting, but just simply talking.

Interview with expert Anelise Pacheco.

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