In our world we call it Wonderland.
In their world they call it Okapi.
It's not filled with mystical cats that hang in the dark woods.
That would be much too enhancing, they go for enchanting.
In fact, Okapi is governed by the lion king Zalphiogo (Zal-Fee-ah-go).
There are no mad hatters around these parts, just mad clocks who speak without using words or language.
The long ticks and sequential timing is torture enough.
Their world has an ongoing life span. Time never slows down, pauses, or stops. They sit and Wallo in there misfortune, replaying life's biggest mistakes. Over and over again.....
Ode to The weekend
Ode to the weekend
Ode to Netflix, Christmas lights, and 10 Things I Hate About You because yes, I would consider myself partially old souled, and yes it's 90s to 2000s throwback weekend.
Forget about friends, and boys, sleepovers, and talking guys, I'm watching High School Musical for the 100th time and I got nothing to hide Troy Bolton is the only man in my eyes
Gabriela's cool too I will remember that after watching her throwback music videos on Youtube
But first, I will have to send a letter to Netflix asking them to bring back all the childhood movies and shows we love and adore, I'm talking about, Zenon, That's So Raven, Even Steven, Zoey 101, so on and so on...
So anyway I can't rant all day but it wouldn't change a thang, my ode to the weekend is proof of my love for YouTube, Netflix, and dare I say, the Christmas lights hanging high that yes will be out there passed New Year's Day but I don't care I say it's more fun that way ode to the weekend I love you soooo...
Never Out of Style Or Out of Time
If it has a heel and goes on your feet, it's for me! The pride and confidence you receive from the classic look is indescribable.
Except it is. Think model status. Cinderella. A runway and all eyes on you.
Something a girl like me dreams about and looks up to all her life.
Whether there a chucky boot heel or a tall slender stiletto heel they give girls the confidence to make it through the day.
Well that and a cup of coffee.
Im here, I came, I used my brain, I'm just different, and I know it's lame, but I'm here, I came, and I'm staying, sad to say
I'm crying, see, but you not to blame, I made my own bed so I will wallow in the pain, I'm sorry to make you feel bad but we're all the same, and to everyone, you too must feel the pain
The True Survivors
- Victoria Secret Perfume
- 1 cup of ambition
- 2 gallons of passion
- 4 tbs. of uniqueness
- 1/4 teaspoon of moral support (optional)
- 1 1/2 cup of spunk (extra flavor)
- It is essential to wash your hands free of all the negative energy you encounter daily.
- Get rid of the saltiness in the air, from all the haters, with your VS perfume.
- Drink the 1 cup of ambition (you'll need it)
- Get your pencil and paper to write yourself a note saying you will go out and make your dreams come true.
- Get your 2 gallons of passion and dump it all over yourself.
- Add the 1/4 teas. of moral support which you hardly need.
- Then use the 4 table spoons of uniqueness for your work of art
- Lastly get the 1 1/2 cup of spunk. Use the 1/2 cup to grow thick skin so no one can tear you down. Then use the 1 cup to shove it right back in the faces of anyone who has ever or ever will doubt you
I am not your play toy
I do not get giggly nor chipper at the sight or thought of you
You are an untrustworthy villain
Or dare I say a maniacal beast
You can not have me nor any other women or girl
Especially if you think it's that easy
I am determined
I wonder about my education
I hear school bells
I see nice frat boys, college professors, late night study sessions, and the schools university sign
I want to be succesful
I am determined
I pretend that I'm going to be somebody some day
I feel stupid
I touch my dream exceptance letter
I worry I'm not smart enough
I cry because I don't have the means to money like they do
I am determined
I understand that if I stay focused I can succeed
I say anyone can do anything they set their mind to
I dream that I can achieve my goal
I try to have the right mind set
I hope I can stay positive
I am determined
Save You 9/11
September 11th 2001
“Jake why are you doing this?” Thump thump, the sound of my heart racing to figure out how this all came to be.
* * * * * * *
Tuesday September 3rd:
Dear diarrhea, Oops, I mean, diary,
Hello, it’s me, I was wondering, just kidding! What up, it’s ya girl Charlie (you’ll understand in 15 years or so) as you know I can see the future and for all of you reading this in the year 2017 glad you made it out of 2001- 2016 alive. Also know has some of the worst years in history if you ask time travelers like me. I travel there frequently in the minds of your youth. trust me y’all need it! I also have invisibility, a black belt in ka-rrrrr-ateee and the ability to control your mind. But, don’t worry I’m not doing it now. In fact I’m currently time traveling in my own mind diary to figure out my mistake and correct it. See in present day, I’m fighting one of my best friends for power over New York City though I’m from Chicago myself. I’m looking for answers to this madness. What does he want? When did this all start? Why is he rebelling against not only me, but the entire world. And, how, how did I not see this coming? How could he betray me?
Here comes Ethan! Aka: MMC (My man crush), a term I created specifically for him in the seventh grade. He’s so cute!
“What up C!” one of my best friend Pj exclaimed. I met my best friend Pj at a daycare his mom worked at until she retired. We played soccer on the playground and ever since we've been the best of friends.
“Ugh, Pj you’re ruining my moment!”
“What moment,you mean the one where you sit here and drool over Ethan.”
“Who’s drooling over Ethan?” Jake interrupted. Jake was my best friend until I realized he's trying to take over New York. Which reminds me, I gotta get back there soon.
“Who else?” Pj mocked.
“Whatever, He’ll never like me anyway”
“True but, don’t worry C you got us!”, jake said, trying to cheer me up.
“Great!”, I projected sarcastically.
“Hey, what’s so bad about us?” Pj said, “Don’t you like my dimples?”
“Yeah, don’t you like his dimples.”
We laugh hysterically.
“What class Y'all y'all have next?”
“I actually don’t have any classes, I will be in the office.” I said casually.
In unison both pj and Jake said, “What, now?”
“Oh, wait let me guess, you spray painted Jason’s house.” Something I do quite often to my ex-boyfriend’s houses as Pj so casually pointed out. “You know I’m your best friend and all C, but I’m not gonna have to bail you out again am I?”
“Don’t worry bout it P, I got this one.”
“Well y’all have fun with that I got bio, with Ms. Fiddlemen”, Jake said in a british accent.
“And that girl you’re obsessed with”, Pj said.
“Oh yeah July. She’s ah-”
“Ok you two.” I interjected before I could hear their degrading conversation about women, “Bye!”
“Pray for me!” I pleaded.
* * * * * * *
September 11th 2001
Jake is destroying all of New York City. Burning down places taking helpless lives. Wait who's is tha-
* * * * * * *
As you can see I'm haven't quite got the hang of this whole mind, time traveling thing just yet. My powers started kicking in when I was about 12 and believe me it's harder than it looks. I'm basically doing two things at once. As an 18 year old teenage girl about to head off to NYU (if it's the last thing I do), finish finals, and make the boy of my dreams madly fall in love with me, focusing on two things at once isn't an easy thing to do.
… Principal's Office
Just walk through the doors and play it cool.
“Hey Mr. C, oh, and Ma”? I panicked.
“Yeah young lady be scared.” Mr. Craymer or my “ex” step dad interjected.
“I don't need your help thank you!” My mom replied angrily. “Now look here young lady, don't use attitude with me, you're already going to be grounded with the trouble you're in. What is with you and these boys anyways!?” I could see the vain from her head pop like a piece of stale licorice was stuck inside. That happens when she's super duper angry. “ Oooh, and don't even get me started on your grades missy a C, in ‘pre’ calculus!” And just when I look over... I'm thinking to myself “ No this cannot be Craymer wouldn't give me that ‘I told you so look’ would he?” To my surprise that's exactly what he did!
As I stroll through my very strategically placed memory files, I store in my brain, I remember my mom saving up all her anger until we got into the house. Aka a dead silent car ride home. My lucky day! Yet I still feel like even if I know how this is going to end I still don't care. I'm angry. All over again. No matter how many times I time travel nothing changes. I let my pride get the best of me and explode my opinion all over the place like a volcanic, vocabulary, scramble.
We enter the living room
“What is wrong with you?!”
“I do so much for you. I’m trying to save for your college, keep this house, put groceries on the table, and maintain our lifestyle but you just take everything for granted!”
“Do you not care?”
“Every time you get angry at someone are you gonna spray paint their house?”
“Well then what is the matter with you, are you rebelling? Am I too tough on you?”
“What? I’m not rebelling. Can you just leave me alone!?”
“How dare you talk to me like that, give me your phone, and don't even think about going to any of your friends houses. As a matter of fact no more boyfriends either!”
I thought about my next few words. I didn't want to say them but it wasn't my choice. I can't change the past. Lord knows how the future would end up. I would have no chance at figuring out why Jake has taken over.“What! You just hate me because I don't look like you! Why would you even adopted me if you weren't gonna love me?”
“Should I take you back?”
I honestly couldn't tell I'm she was serious. That same feeling of erupting anger came back. “Sure and why don't you give Daniel (my brother) back to whatever crusty sperm donor he came from!”
Trying to hold back the tears, “You just want to punish me cause you cold hearted inside!”
Door slam! Pj enters through the window of my dusk, vintage bedroom. Did I forget to mention he lives in the town home right next to us? Polaroids hang from my Ceiling like one of those creepy old souled girls who are still finding ways to wear poodle skirts, flapper dresses, and hot neon all in one week (which I occasionally do once a month when I'm feeling down). My Queen poster, barely holding on to my photo canvas of all my favorite old school bands on one wall. On the other all replicas of my favorite albums in record form. Only thing missing is a jukebox and my room would turn into an time travel zone I get lots in.
“Wow C was that necessary?” pj said surprised.
“You heard that?” I, also, said surprised
“Yeah, and I think you really hurt your mom's feelings.”
“What! You're taking her side!?”
“I'm just saying you're being a little harsh.”
“Whatever you always take her side you obviously relate to her more than me.”
“What's that supposed to mean.”
“Wow I see how it is. You're pulling the ‘black card’ cause you know you're wrong!”
“What how are you getting mad at me! You know it's true.”
“Man, whatever C.”
Man is it just me or did that feel even more terrible than first time. I feel bad for being so mean to Pj and my mom. I never did apologize to her, did I?
Monday, September 9th:
I'm apologizing to Pj today.
Football practice just ended.
“Hey you guys!”, I treated Pj and Jake
“Umm I'm gonna go.” Jake pondered curiously
“What do you want Charlie?”
Geez Pj must really hate me. “Oh you're calling me Charlie now whatever happened to C?”
“You lost that right, now can you leave me alone?”
“Look, I'm sorry for saying what I said I'm sorry for pulling, I whispered, the, ‘black, card’.”
“It's not a bad word C, black. Black. Black. Black. Black. Black. Black.Black.”
“I know I'm sorry. Please forgive me.”
“Please, with sprinkles on top?”
“Okay but I'm taking your card.”
“I have a card?”
“Yeah it's like your right to-”
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Oh my god. I'm gonna be late for school. Geez diary, why didn't you wake me up. Oh my god, oh my god! Finalllllsss! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Oh my frickin gossshhhhh! My NYU letter of recommendation I forgot to ask Mrs. Jackson to do it! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
Long story short Pj accepted my real life apology. Unlike headmistress Willberg at NYU who won't admit me into the college of my dreams. All because the letter I turned into her was late and sloppy because I wrote it. Geez old people can be so rude. I tried to explain to her how much stress I was under but-
* * * * * *
“Ahh! Someone help me!” Headmistress W. was hanging from the third floor of the twin towers
“You aren't gonna get away with this Jake!” I hollered to Jake from his metal contraption used to instil fear into people, and make him taller. He always hated being 3 inches shorter than me. “Are you mad because you're only 5’5?” I felt bad for Jake. “What did I do?”
“Help!” The headmistress called as flames grew larger.
“Jake how could you turn on me were supposed to be friends!”
“Wow you don't even remember.” Jake grew angrier
“Remember what?” My mind was a blur.
“September 9th…” Jake said.
* * * * * *
On my flip phone
Jake: playing Space Invader 4
Me: Cool guess what happened to today
Me: Ethan talked to me
Jake: why should I care?
Me: cause you're one of my bf’s duhhh you
should care If you care about me, at all his is really important!
Me: best Friend! What's wrong with you today? You a lil off.
Jake: is it soooooo wrong to like you?
Me: you like me?
Me: oh jake
Jake: maybe we can go out sometime like on an official date?
Me: ummmm I really don't think that's a good idea Jake.
Jake: fine just forget I said anything
* * * * * *
“Look jake, I'm sorry.”
“You should be. Now watch me burn New York City to the ground!”
“You see I can't let you do that.” Before I knew it I had Jake in a headlock tighter than granny pantyhose. I wrestled him all the way to the top of that tower. I tried to save the other lives but I saw headmistress and realized the right and all too selfish thing to do. But they hauled Jake my ex best friend away and that's the most important thing. I never went to prom. I never graduated though I obviously got a free pass with headmistress. The PTSD was just too real. So, I spend my time writing help. Or traveling through the minds of your youth. I alter their memory. Make them forget the bad. Make a fictional memory full of good. Make some hopefully and true. Make others need someone hopeful and true. I even altered that day. I can’t change that horrible disaster but I can change the public’s memory of who it was and why. It's one thing to experience the chaos of that day but it's another to have been there and watched people die in front of your eyes. You know that day as 9/11 the awful terrorist Attack that struck New York City. But I know that day as 9/11 the day I lost a friend and gained PTSD.