Ombeline
Benoit and Ombeline are from France. About one year before Benoit finished his Phd they started to prepare themselves to move to a foreign country as Benoit was planning a career in academia. “ At the beginning he was thinking of Japan but the language barrier was too important for me and when I started to gather information about what life was for foreigners in Japan it was not something I could picture myself in. I wanted to be able to continue to work... Going to Japan was not convenient for me as possibilities were limited for spouses.” After some research Ombeline realized her company was implanted in several countries in the world, so she started the long process to be transferred abroad. “This is what guided our search for a postdoc position... As Benoit's manager knew some people in the US he help us find this position at Caltech. We saw that my company had an office in the Los Angeles area, we realized it was possible for us to come. This is how our new adventure in Pasadena started.”
The transition was a long and complicated process for them as they lived in two different cities in France. “Before we left I was living in Loraine (North of France) and he lived in Paris. Right before the move we had to organize our wedding remotely, which was in south of France. It was very intense because everything happened at the same time (Laughs). When we arrived, I was lucky Benoit didn't start right away. We had a lot of paperwork to do and English was very complicated for me in the beginning. I had a lot of difficulties to understand people and to communicate... For example, just to call the phone company, I had to ask Benoit to do it for me because I thought my English was so bad I was afraid to do it myself. It took me about four months to meet people and talk to them. I just told myself not to care if my accent was awful. I met people with so many different accents at Caltech who made it so I could too. Right after the move, I started the process to get an employment authorization. I knew I had to wait for three months to get it, so I thought: OK, I'll take some vacation, but when I experienced those three months, I realized that it was actually long (Laughs).”
Waiting for her job was the most difficult step for Ombeline : “I had my employment authorization but I had no news from my company... So at some point I started looking for other options like volunteering for any kind of job... But I didn't manage to find something. At some point I started to question myself. I asked myself how long I could wait. After six months in the US I had nothing and absolutely no news from my company either. I almost thought I was useless... But I didn't reach that point. Fortunately I met people of the CISC so I felt better... It was good to see people. But as I never pictured myself as a housewife, I was a little uneasy to see all the spouses who were so dedicated to their husband. At the beginning I didn't understand how they could do that, live like that. I felt sorry for them. But at some point I realized that the decision they made was not an easy one and taking care of their kids is a full time occupation. It is as reasonable and honorable as working. It opened my mind on something I didn't understand before. Recently with Benoit we tried to analyze how we changed during the year and half we spent in the US, and he told me I became more open-minded than I was before. He told me I learned to put things in perspective.”
Caltech International Spouse Club was a welcome surprise for Ombeline, she became a very active member as treasurer and founded the hiking group. “Becoming a member of the CISC was a breath of fresh air, as I was bored some days because being unemployed. So meeting people was very good and having an activity was the escape from home that I needed, it was a good way to get out of my monotony. At the beginning I just joined the ESL and recreational group.”
“As Benoit and I hiked a lot and as Monika was focusing on the idea of a sport group... A hiking group came to my mind. I wanted to offer something related to nature and make people discover something else than an urban environment. So managing this group was something natural for me. The treasurer position was something else, it was a trap! A rookie's mistake (Laughs)... The position was vacant and as I was still unemployed and pretty good at maths, I thought why not try (More laughs). It was very interesting though and I started to create really good friendships with people.”
The international aspect of the spouse club community was a surprise for Ombeline and she discovered some part of herself she didn't expect. “At the beginning I was frustrated because we didn't meet that many Americans. I had the feeling I didn't really experience the American way of life, I never had the opportunity to see how American people lived... I mean for little things like what they eat for breakfast for example (Laughs). I just knew stereotypes and never had the opportunity to check for myself. But one day I realized I actually met people from several countries with very international experiences and cultures, so it didn't matter anymore. I started to learn more about other cultures from the variety of members in the spouse club. At the beginning the cultural differences were something I couldn't understand, but I think my own culture could also be difficult to apprehend for someone from... China for example. When you try to explain you own culture to a foreigner it gives you the opportunity for an introspection. You realize that sometimes behavior that is normal in your country can appear very intriguing to someone from another country and vice versa. It put things in perspective and opens your mind. For example, before we came to US Benoit wanted to go somewhere in Asia for a postdoc and I really was not comfortable with the idea. But now I feel I could go for it.
Eventually we will leave the US and we have never actually been exposed to the US society, but we discovered so much of the world through the people we met and it was so enriching that we have no regrets.”
Credits:
Christophe Marcade