Sacrifice FCA Leadership

" Even though I am a free man with no master, I have become a slave to all people to bring many to Christ." 1 Corinthians 9:19

I can remember the moment when the Lord told me this was His plan for me. It was my senior year of high school when I visited Clemson FCA that I knew that I was going to Clemson and that I was going to be involved in FCA. Well, I applied and got into the Bridge Program at Clemson. (Lol, what the heck God, this is NOT what I envisioned.) While I was upset, I knew that He knew what He was doing so no matter how rough freshman year was, God’s hand was in it all. I know now that looking back I got bridge because FCA was my only source of community, God wanted me to invest in Him and invest in this organization. That may have not happened if I had been completely accepted as a freshman. Fast forward to junior year when I was able to apply for Leadership. I was so excited to see what the Lord was going to do. But, I didn’t get it. The door that I thought was going to open, the Lord gently ( or what felt like slammed) shut that door. Yes I was upset but I again knew that these were not my plans but His. So I continued to serve on Production because KeepFCAWeird and I love that team more than I can put into words. I knew that I had one more year to apply so I was going to take the opportunity when it came. Half way through the year it was so obvious to me why I did not get leadership and why applying to be Production Director for the upcoming year was staring me straight in the face. I did not think I was capable. I did not think that all the crazy shenanigans that Production entails was anything I was ever able to do. Yes I had been on the team since the end of Freshman year, but I was still terrified. When it came down to it, God made it clear that this was what He meant when He said this was the plan He had for me. So I applied and got it. Completely terrified and excited I leaned into everything God put in front of me.

First girl Production Director that FCA has ever had, this will be fun. Oh it was, more than I can express. But wow was it hard, it’s funny how in the very spot that we are weak the enemy loves to feed into it. It was a constant battle against self doubt and a constant state of reminding myself that no matter how hard it is to lead, no matter when it feels like no one thinks you’re capable, no matter when it feels like the weight of the world is crushing you; no matter when the enemy finds anyway to take away the very thing that the Lord has given you, HIS GRACE IS ENOUGH and He has placed me in this roll for a purpose. Leading the Production team has been the best, hardest, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life. It hurts me to leave this behind, but I have to trust God’s timing.

Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. 4 Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, 5 for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now. 6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. 7 So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News. 8 God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus. 9 I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. 10 For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. 11 May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God. Philippians 3-11

As my Leadership position is way too abruptly coming to a close and I sit here with tears in my eyes realizing that God is far far far greater than I ever thought and that He is in every single detail of our lives. Not only being able to lead the best Production Team who I could brag on for years, but being a part of a leadership team who has loved me and pushed me far more than I thought they could. When we first got placed and were together for the first time I was a little skeptical about how we were all going to work together. But now I don’t know how this team could have worked without every single one of us bringing to the table what we do. Even though Phillip picks a fight over everything, and Taylor will not let him win, our love for one another is something unexplainable. I never expected for it to be the most genuine love I have ever felt for every single one of them. Yes, I knew we were going to have fun and care for each other. But as much as I sit here and try to explain to you what it feels like to love these people and be loved by them, I will not ever be able to. The Father has reminded me that this love that I feel towards every single one of them is only a very small glimpse of how He feels for us; and that is something that I will never be able to put my head around. This team would not be the same without : Collin’s strong and tender heart ; Wes’s genuinity; Halie’s wise words ; Taylor’s God fearing faith ; JT’s trust in the Father ; Caroline’s ability to remind us of God’s truth ; Nick’s joy ; Win’s compassion ; Lauren’s gentle spirit; and Phillip’s passion. I will never be able to express what each one of them have done for me or what they mean to me. [ I love y’all more than I can handle and I am so grateful for each of you. #EveryonesDoingIt ].

It’s a weird feeling, when seasons change. When God throws you into what feels like a tornado and then when you finally find yourself on the ground again, he picks you up and takes you somewhere else. If someone asked me to put this past year into one sentence, I wouldn’t be able to. I thought I knew what this year was going to look like. I thought I knew what living for Christ was like, I thought I knew what sacrifice for the Kingdom was, I thought I knew what it was like to love with Christ like grace, I thought I knew what it was like to suffer for Christ, I thought I knew what it was like to have an unexplainable joy filled life, I thought I knew what it felt like to be loved unconditionally. Now that I am on the other side, I was so wrong. That’s the funny thing about leaning on our own understanding, God always shatters it. He goes beyond what we expect, and He did. This past year has been nothing shy of incredible. I have learned, grown, hurt, questioned, laughed, cried, and loved more than I have before. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Now I sit here with tears rolling down my face with overwhelming emotion. Overwhelmed by how Our Father loves and keeps his promises; overwhelmed by sadness that this year is ending; overwhelmed by joy for what this year has been; overwhelmed by nerves for the uncertainty of the future; overwhelmed by excitement for God’s plans for my future.

“I will sing of the steadfast love of the Lord, forever; with my mouth I will make known Your faithfulness to all generations. Steadfast love will be built up forever; in the heavens you will establish Your faithfulness.” Psalms 89 Father, You are entirely faithful.


Report Abuse

If you feel that this video content violates the Adobe Terms of Use, you may report this content by filling out this quick form.

To report a Copyright Violation, please follow Section 17 in the Terms of Use.