We'd be in this dreadful metal tank for over 14 hours some days, with no room to turn around and much less to escape one another. Without tearing each other apart, we'd cut ourselves on the metal sides. Whenenever Nootka and Haida got aggressive, new scars would appear somewhere on my body.
One night went horribly awry. Nootka became very hostile - again not because of her constitution but the situation. She swung her head at me with jaws open. I ducked below the water and she hit her rostrum against the metal wall. Blood poured from her blowhole whenever she took a breath. I could only look on in horror.
Eventually she healed from that incident, but I don't think any of us were the same after. Other mornings when we came out from the module, my fluke was so torn apart it looked like a grinded up fish. I refused to enter that hell a few times, and as a result my food intake was cut down. Hunger became a regular feeling, but I learned that if I performed as I was taught it could be relieved - though not completely. I took it like a fool, but eventually I couldn't wait to perform.
The days soon blended into months, and them into years. I matured and grew. My dorsal fin sprouted and then flopped over onto one side. It didn't hurt me at all, though I was puzzled by the occurance. The males in my pod all had very tall and straight ones. It made me feel weak.
In time, primitive urges soon overwhelmed me. Even though Haida and Nootka were dominant over me, they too wanted to breed and I obliged them. Before I was even ten years old, both of them were pregnant.
My life is so alien and foreign to the one I was accustomed to before I was captured. None of those things would have happened - no unpleasant rakings, no performing, no early breeding. It was all just so confusing, and very hard for me to accept. I soon waxed nostalgic, missing the northern lights, the shimmering ice, and my family. The same question always lingered in my mind: Why do these humans lock me up in this hell?
The same questions started to run through Nootka and Haida's minds. We all became unsettled, longing for something to change. Nootka attacked our trainers several times. Though we couldn't understand each other, we still could read what the others were thinking. She was fed up with taking orders from our trainers, who again were above all of us in this distorted social web.
One afternoon, one of the trainers slipped during the show. Her body entered the water. Nootka looked at Haida and I with a feverish look. We saw an opportunity.
An impulsive feeling ran through me. Before I knew it, her foot was in my mouth and we were at the bottom of the enclosure. Nootka took her from me (as she did with all of our "toys") and pinned her down. I don't remember much after that - it felt like I wasn't even in control of myself. All I know is she didn't make it out.
This is not a subject I normally talk about openly, so count yourselves lucky. I never wanted to hurt her, to hurt anyone. Guilt plagued me after that, and I became angry at myself. It was such a frightening feeling. I tried to bury it inside, hoping it would just go away. That only made things worse.
Soon after that incident, Haida gave birth and she, her calf, and I were all shipped out. She and our calf were sent to another marine park in Texas. I was on my way to somewhere else. I hated those damn flying machines from hell they put us on.
I joined several other orcas - none of which I knew - in the next kingdom of hell. A place you humans call SeaWorld. The very looks of the place were meant to decieve your eyes and make you believe you were in some underwater paradise. Unlike my previous enclosure, the real ocean was nowhere in sight and the water had unusual chemicals that stung my adjusting eyes.
It was here where I truly discovered why I was captured. At Sealand I began to synthesize everything together, but during one of the large-scale shows with hundreds of people - thousands maybe - it hit me. I was ripped from my home to be a spectacle, for people to gawk at me, so the captive industry could be built up.