The Trials and Tribulations of a Basic B*tch

...I will not have a streak on snapchat with you moron. You are so incredibly bland and entirely boring that I would rather talk to actual garbage than entertain a conversation with you. This is not even partially pointed at one person, it is to the majority of females I see in the hallway, and even just about everywhere else. I will not engage in any type of contact (verbal or physical) with you or you uggs or your leggings as pants or your stupid sweatshirt from a team you were on/charity event you attended. And I will most defiantly NOT look you in your eyes with you wearing your scarf around your neck inside/in summer... WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT? It is hard for me to even write about you because you have no qualities to right about because more often than not, you have no qualities. You will probably want to be a nature photographer but will ultimately realize that takes work, give up and either working in a Macy's or going to nursing school. You are hard to care about and enjoy Anna Kendrick (who is the queen of being utterly boring no matter what she does or how hard you try).

Eventually, you will marry someone WAY beneath your league in appearance, which usually isn't very hot anyway. And after a couple months of struggling through you unbearable union, you decide creating kids will help... HOW!? Then on top of that, you make hideous children with you hideous husband. You raise these hideous children to be just like your miserable, basic way of living. You probably make you daughter join dance at 3 months and even when they tell you that they hate it at ten years old, you "put too much money in this to stop now," and you son is probably somewhere being forced into some other sport by your husband. Basically... Basic b*tches have no fun, so don't be one moron.

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