Jurassic Park By Joe Barry



Charlie: What is amber?

Bob: Amber is a hard translucent fossilized resin produced by extinct coniferous trees of the Tertiary period (or Cenozoic Period), typically yellowish in color.

Sam: I thought it was a name.

Bob: It's also a name.

Sam: They're looking for aliens!

Bob: Uh, no, they are using radar.

Sam: To find aliens.

Zia: Aliens have nothing to do with dinosaurs.

Sam: Yeah, they do. One reason dinosaurs went extinct is that they were abducted by aliens.


Zia: Did they have the technology to see buried dinosaur fossils using radar in the early 90s?

Bob: Radar was invented in 1935 and was used frequently after 1939, which was when WW2 broke out. However, it couldn’t be used to find fossils underground in the 90s, but it WAS used to get the jump on the weather.

Sam: Yeah, it doesn't really seem to work on these guys.

Zia: That's because they use a different type of radar.

Sam: Oh. Can they get free HBO?

Charlie: I wish.

Sam: Here kitty, kitty.

Charlie: That's no house cat.

Zia: At least it's been dead for a few million years.

Question 3

Sam: What is a paleontologist?

Bob: A paleontologist is a scientist that studies fossils of dead creatures.


Zia: At least they are fossilized.

Charlie: They aren't always fossilized. Occasionally, they find a mummified dinosaur.

Sam This mummy wants its dino mummy back!

Zia *shudders*: Next question, please!

Sam: Cool! A new fossil Pokemon!

Charlie: Sorry, Sam. No Pokemon in this rock.

Sam: How'd they do that!?!


Zia: What is a paleobotanist?

Bob: A paleobotanist is a branch of paleontology that studies plant fossils and ancient vegetation.

Sam: Plants are boring, unless it's a Pokemon. THEN it's awesome.

Zia: So, this isn't cool?

Sam: Meh.

Charlie: As amusing as it would be, let's get to the next question before Zia kills Sam.

Chaos monster #1: RAWR!

Sam: It's so little.


Charlie: What is a chaotician?

Bob: A chaotician is a chaos theorist.

Sam: Simple as that?

Charlie: Doubt it.

Sam: They didn't have THESE 65 million years ago!

Zia: No duh.


Charlie: What time period did Brachiosaurus live in?

Bob: Brachiosaurus lived in the early Jurassic period, about 118 mya.


Charlie: Sorry, Sam, your just delusional.


Charlie: What are you talk-?

Zia: How big is Brachiosaurus? How tall is Brachiosaurus?

Bob: Brachiosaurus is about 160 thousand pounds, or 80 tons.

Sam: It would take two of these to out weigh a 150 ton blue whale!

Zia: I didn't know you were smart, Sam.


Bob: Brachiosaurus is 85 feet tall.

Charlie: It would take 5 or 6 giraffes to be taller than one Brachiosaurus.

Sam: The dino would have no problem lowering its neck to look into a bedroom window.

Zia: Creepy.

Sam: I guess you are right, Zia.


Charlie: AGAIN!?!

Sam: Sorry, not one of the questions.

Zia: What does Brachiosaurus eat? What does a Brachiosaurus sound like?

Bob: Brachiosaurus eats plants. As for what scientists say it sounds like, click this button.

Sam: I can't! I'm part of this page!

Zia: He's talking to the viewers.

Sam: Oh.


Charlie: Glad I'm not in the middle of that one.

Double Question 3

Zia: Are Komodo Dragons related to dinosaurs? If they are, are they related to Dilophosaurus?

Bob: The Komodo Dragon isn't related to the dinosaurs, but it IS related to the other lizards that were around 65 million years.

Sam: That's not West Indian Lilac, is it?

Zia: No.

Sam: Good, cause I'm allergic to West Indian Lilac.

Question 13

Zia: Is West Indian Lilac poisonous?

Bob: West Indian Lilacs are poisonous. The leaves are reported to contain high concentrations of the poison Rotenone, a commonly used organic insecticide. They have a history of use by native people as a fish poison and are a potential source of compounds for the manufacture of Bio pesticides.

Sam: Can you explain it a bit more simply?

Bob: West Indian Lilacs is the source for organic bug killer and pesticide.

Charlie: In other words, it's naturally poisonous.

Sam: So, I'm not allergic to West Indian Lilac?

Zia: Probably not, although I wouldn't be surprised if you were.

Sam *clears throat*: Sorry about that.

Double Question 4

Zia: How well do night vision goggles work? When was night vision created?

Bob: The best night vision goggles can help you see someone 200 yards away on a cloudy moonless night. The first night vision devices were introduced by the German army as early as 1939. The first devices were being developed by AEG starting in 1935.

Sam: Is that real?

Charlie: Don't worry, it's a statue.

Question 16

Zia: Is Dilophosaurus related to the Frilled Lizard?

Bob: The creators of Jurassic Park were inspired by the Frilled Lizard when they designed their version of Dilophosaurus, the spitting dinosaur. But we don't know if Dilophosaurus had a frill, and the Frilled Lizard doesn't have venom, much less spit it.

Sam: Good news, Wayne Knight, you-.

Zia: Sam! You'll ruin the movie for the viewers that haven't seen Jurassic Park!

Sam: Sorry.

Sam: What's the difference?

Charlie: One is a complete skeleton and one is a skull.

Zia: Oh, that's just one of many differences.

Question 17

Charlie: What’s the difference between Brontosaurus and Brachiosaurus?

Bob: Apatosaurus, the correct name for what is also known as Brontosaurus, was approximately 20 feet shorter and 32 tons lighter than Brachiosaurus. The name Apatosaurus means “deceptive lizard," because when an incomplete set of fossils was discovered in 1877, it was originally confused with Mosasaurus. Apatosaurus stood 30 to 35 feet tall and 65 to 75 feet long, weighing 18 tons. It had a 15- to 17-foot neck. The Brachiosaurus was 40 to 50 feet high and 85 to 95 feet long, weighing more than 50 tons. It had a 30-foot neck.

Sam: Sorry, but could you shorten it for those who, like me, don't understand geek?

Bob: Apatosaurus is called Brontosaurus and was originally confused with Mosasaurus. It is smaller than Brachiosaurus.

Sam: You should've said that the first time, Bob.

Bob: Hey, someone here's got to be the one getting the information.

Sam: And someone to be funny.

Zia: What am I? Chopped liver?

Charlie: No, that's what I am.

Double Question 5

Sam: What does a Brachiosaurus look like? What does a Dilophosaurus look like?

Bob: According to scientists...

Zia: This is a Brachiosaurus.
Charlie: And this is a Dilophosaurus.

Zia: I guess that's it.

Bob: Yes.

Charlie: Yeah.

Sam: Hey guys! I got Rex back!

Sam: NO! Bad Rex! You don't eat Charlie.

Bob: Thank you for reading! Hope you liked the sound effects/ videos. Now, while we deal with Rex, have a look at our sources.



















Created By
Joseph Barry


Created with images by HighTechDad - "Jurassic Park Gate" • Falashad - "Amber" • WikiImages - "radar dish radar earth station" • skeeze - "lightning strike night" • James St. John - "Smilodon californicus (saber-toothed tiger) (La Brea Asphalt, Upper Pleistocene; Rancho La Brea tar pits, Los Angeles, southern California, USA) 3" • NASA Goddard Photo and Video - "Cretaceous Footprints Found on Goddard Campus" • Will Scullin - "Mummy" • happy2be - "fossil rock concretion" • Foundry - "jungle water sea" • mythwhisper - "Chaos Marines" • PatLoika - "Jurassic." • DariuszSankowski - "dinosaur gad mammal" • Orin Zebest - "Pond Dweller" • Brice Li - "Komodo Dragons_4" • Pezibear - "lilac flowers white" • troykelly - "DSC00152" • Newtown grafitti - "Frill-necked lizard" • Amy Loves Yah - "W.O.W." • edenpictures - "Brachiosaurus Skull" • spencer77 - "Brachiosaurus, Dinosaur Adventure Park, Weston Longville, Norfolk" • London looks - "dilophosaurus" • Efraimstochter - "prehistoric times urtier museum"

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