For far too long I let others approval or view of me define who I was. If I was noticed I felt loved. If I was given a hug I felt loved. If I was complimented or celebrated I felt loved. But what about God's thoughts and feelings toward me? I used to think that God made mistakes in some of the ways He made me. I hated that I was shy and timid, afraid to speak up, afraid to stand out. I envied the outgoing, vibrant girl who owned the room as soon as she walked in the door. I didn't believe that I was worth standing out, worth being noticed, worth being loved and adored. I let others opinion of me completely alter how I viewed myself. I chased after love and acceptance, pursued others fiercely and deeply and wore my heart on my sleeve. When rejection came, it didn't just wound me, rejection crippled and paralyzed me. Then I would see other friends adored and treasured and instead of just being jealous or envious of them, I felt an even deeper rejection and lack of worth, like I couldn't possibly ever deserve that kind of deep affection and love..
In the last year and a half God has been refining my heart, my identity and helping me understand that my purpose and calling is so much higher and bigger than myself. In order for me to step fully into all that God has for me, I need to step into who He has called me and created me to be. My emotions need to line up with the truths I'm speaking out. I can say that my security and love is rooted in God, but then why do I feel insecure and set aside when I'm not noticed? Current mind renewal transforms my future. There is a need to come into agreement with God and take captive thoughts that are so clearly from the enemy. I'm finished believing the lie that I'm shy and don't have a powerful voice or a voice of authority. I choose to believe and step into the truth that I HAVE THE VOICE OF FREEDOM. I am known and wanted by the God of the Most High. He has never once rejected me, let me down, taken advantage of me, made me feel less than a daughter of the King and He is the King of my heart. His presence is enough. His love is enough.
