A Work in Progress by: julia bunta

jealousy

once upon a time...

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who lived in a gorgeous kingdom with her wonderful parents. The princess had a pretty, witty, and kind handmaiden. Even though the handmaiden worked for the princess the princess did not look down on her in fact the princess and her handmaiden were friends. Since her parents had no heir the princess was forced to marry. Month after month the parents would bring princes all the princess banished. She claimed they just weren't the right match and since her parents adored her they sent the princes away and kept bringing new ones in. Little did the parents know that the princess was sending all the princes away because of the poor old hand maiden. Every time a prince would come they would see the hand maiden and fall in love with her almost instantly. This infuriated the princess into a rage. Even though the princess was sweet she was unbelievably jealous and cruel towards the handmaiden. The princes continued to come and go until one day the princess found her dream prince. She fell in love with him instantly and she felt he loved her too… or so she thought. One day the princess was roaming her castle when she saw her worst nightmare. Her handmaiden and her prince together. She watched as the prince gazed into the handmaidens beautiful eyes. The same look he once gave her. Suddenly she felt a jealous rage, she was so angry she could barely breathe. Suddenly her anger took over her and she grabbed a knife and slit the prince's throat. The handmaiden was in total shock, she didn't know what to do. The princess glared an evil look at the handmaiden and said “if I can't have him, then no one can”. The handmaiden screamed at the princess “are you insane!? He doesn't love me! He loves you! He was just telling me about how he wanted to marry you!”. The princess was terrified. She was so shocked and surprised. All she could do was sit with what she had done. Years later the princess was married with kids. The handmaiden could never look at her the same. The princess was happy but she was always left with the feeling of what her life would've been if she hadn't gone into a jealous rage.

Encyclopedia of my life

B

Bunta: since as long as I can remember people have been pronouncing my last name wrong. People always say it like there's an o not a u. Which doesn't make sense if you can pronounce the word bun correctly then what's so hard about Bunta.

BFF: when I was in third grade my sister got me and my sister BFF necklaces. There was three in total. One said b and the two others said f f. But it doesn't make sense at all because all day people would just ask me why I have a necklace with an f on it. I would then have to explain to them that it spells out BFF and my sisters have the other two necklaces. But that would take a lot of time to just explain a necklace. Shouldn't necklaces be less work?

S

sister: When I was in sixth grade my sister would always come into my room and try and talk to me. I would yell at her and ignore her. Now i barely see her. Next year she'll be at college. It's funny because now I've gotten my wish that i never wanted.

snow: Snow and I have a love hate type of relationship. I always hate snow when it decides not to show up but once it does i completely forgive it and fall in love with it all over again. People are so dependent on things that aren't even living. Why doesn't anyone think that's strange?

Always wear a bun in the studio; if you walk in wearing your hair down we won’t be able to start till your hair is tightly wrapped; always wear black; don’t even think about wearing gray; and if you don’t wear black then we won’t be able to start till you change; once plea warmups start make sure when your hands are in second they look like they’re holding delicate rose petals; when you’re in first keep your shoulders down; keep your chin up; only look in the mirror when you are leaning back; otherwise look dramatically at your hand or just plain straight ahead; always be ready when you go into the center; don’t expect it to be an easy class; when jumping in first always make sure your toes are strictly pointed and your feet stay fluttering until you land; but always land in plea; know that after one jump there will always be another; know that once you start jumping you won’t stop for a while; know that if you mess up or forget the combination you will have to start again; always mark the combination; always know the terminology to the combination in case she only talks not shows; make sure you keep your foot high so it’s a pase not a pique; make sure your arms stay strong; make sure you spot the wall; make sure your arms stay strong; always set before you start the turn; all ballerinas set before a pirouette; know to keep your arms strong; if your arms are weak then you are weak and then the turn is weak; always follow along; and when it's time to go across the floor know when to come in; wait till the first group finishes then wait four counts, then go; when you're going left to right then your right foot is in front of your left; if you're going right to left then your left foot is in front of your right; when the time comes for end curtsies always end with grace because there's nothing uglier than a messy ballerina. But why does it have to be beautiful. Because ballet is about perfection; But always make sure you love it because why would you spend all that time making it perfect if ballet wasn't the love of your life.

This is 14

Fourteen is the light at the end of the tunnel of childhood.

It's feeling big and strong when you see younger people but weak when you see older people. It’s being called too young to know or too old.

Fourteen is wishing to be older and missing everything about being younger. Its trying to be older because thats whats in.

Fourteen is looking at your parents and praying you never end up like that because there's nothing worse than becoming your parents. It's looking at your older siblings and wishing you could be like them and grow up to become them.

Fourteen is feeling like you're underwater with a million pounds of pressure. It's a race with everyone else to see who can do everything first. It's watching the snapchat stories and wishing you were there. It's looking at other people's instagram feeds and wishing you could have as good of a life as them. When in reality that picture took about an hour to get it exactly perfect and they couldn't hate their life more.

Fourteen is seeing your old elementary school and feeling old when you're still so young. Its thinking about how long ago it was and wishing it was longer. Yet wishing you could go back in time.

Fourteen is thinking you're so old. It's thinking you know everything and not listening to anyone when they say you don't because all teenagers are stubborn and don't listen to any adult ever.

Fourteen is thinking you're going to have the most amazing life when you grow up because you already have it all planed out.

Fourteen is the beginning of the end of being looked down on and the beginning of being looked up to. It's wanting every younger person to think you're cool because you're older. It's telling younger people all your experiences because you want it to seem like you've done everything and anything.

Fourteen is finally seeing things that you couldn't see before.Fourteen is seeing your friends age into young adults. It's watching them make terrible mistakes and helping them fix those mistakes.

Fourteen is looking back and wishing you did things differently. It's thinking what would've and could've been. Its wishing you didn’t start that fight with your best friend because everything when you’re a teenager is the end of the world.

Fourteen is figuring out the life you want to have but being called too young for doing so. When in reality every teacher is starting to lecture you about college because soon enough you’ll be a senior. Fourteen is freaking out that you got an 80% on a test because it all counts now.

Fourteen is wearing the same thing as everyone else because there’s no other way to be. Its looking back on what you used to look like and being thankful you've changed. Fourteen is being terrified that everyone else changed.

Fourteen is looking back at one old long dark tunnel and looking ahead at a whole new darker one.

This is 14. This is me. Now

Authors note

Your life is technically a work in progress. How can you say it isn't when it's not even done? All though in the writing pieces you're supposed to show everything about yourself but that’s not exactly how it turned out. It's impossible to get every bit of some ones life in one thing because there are too many things that make us who we are. And that’s ok. Its ok if you don't know what you want or who you are because you have your whole life to figure that out. Maybe I'm saying this because I'm basically a profession procrastinator but most of my life I've been told to plan ahead. I’ve heard that you need all the pieces to have a story that makes sense. But not all the parts are important to make a good story. I’m 14 years old and I love my life. I have an amazing family and amazing friends. I don't want to not be a teenager right now because I like where I am. But yet people keep forcing me to stop working on my rough draft and skip ahead to the final copy when I'm not ready. I’m not ready to graduate or go to college or figure out what I want to be for the rest of my life, which is good since I'm only 14. You can't move time no matter how hard you want to. But it does go by, no matter how hard you don't want it to. So lets stop worrying about time and continue working on the draft. Stop worrying what the final copy will look like because it will definitely be perfect to you. Just be sure to remember your life is a beautiful work of art that’s in progress.

Credits:

Created with images by AlexVan - "hands friendship hold" • cocoparisienne - "dancer woman girl"

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