Grace Greer, Imani Anderson, Chance Carter, and Taylor Gann
Dining Hall Serves Squirrel to Students!
A Clemson Undergrad, who wishes to remain anonymous, gave us the inside scoop about the dining halls. Schilletter, the dining hall located on the east side of campus, usually has a stir-fry chef available at dinner. Students get to fill a cup with whatever veggies they want and get a plate of either rice or noodles. The chef then takes the veggies and asks “Would you like tofu, chicken or beef?” Rumor is that the so-called tofu and chicken is actually squirrel. If you have ever walked around the Clemson campus, you will notice the abundance of squirrels. Many of them have ear tags, which identify the older squirrels from the newer ones. As the population of squirrels has been exponentially increasing in the past few years, Clemson officials found a solution. The squirrels are collected and prepared to be delivered for stir-fry purposes. Our insider knows this for a fact because they were employed at Clemson. When asked to collect squirrels around campus to use in the stir-fry, the employee refused and was fired immediately. Maybe you should think twice about ordering stir-fry next time. Or should I say squir-fry?
Four Words: Swinney's Got The Rock
It was the 25th day of November, the year was two-thousand and sixteen and it was quiet, a little too quiet. It was the day before the biggest rivalry game in America, Clemson vs USC. Although this game is scheduled during Thanksgiving break, many students stayed on campus because they could not miss the opportunity to see the Tigers slaughter the Gamecocks once again. Game weeks are usually hype weeks in Clemson, SC. But this particular week, this particular day, something was strange. Everyone’s persona was off, there were no raving fans, and the tailgates on campus were silent. And no one could figure out what was wrong…
This just in, reports claim that Clemson University’s Howard’s Rock has gone missing. And our sources tell us that Head football Coach Dabo Swinney is responsible for the abduction of oh so famous Howard’s Rock.Coach Dabo released this Facebook post moments ago.
This just in again folks! Another one of our sources have just informed us that the president of Clemson University President James P. Clements is in on the abduction of Howard’s Rock and is helping head football coach Swinney to cover it up. Our sources were able to capture a screenshot of Clements’s comment under Swinney’s post that was deleted immediately after being posted.
How will the Tigers defeat the Gamecocks without Howard’s Rock? Will Dabo Swinney still be Head Coach of Clemson’s football team? What will officials do about President Clements? Will Swinney return Howard’s Rock? Will Deshaun Watson come out with any statements about this tragedy? We will have more information in our next issue of Tiger Pop!
What Really Happened - Clemson vs Pittsburgh
With the weight of what felt like the world on their shoulders, the Clemson Football team loses to the Pittsburg Panthers underneath the bright lights of Saturday night football in the heart of Death Valley. This major upset diminished Clemson’s 21 consecutive winning streak and threatened the Tiger’s hope of competing in the college football playoffs and winning this year’s national championship. After a stressful season of keeping fans on their seats with 4th quarter comebacks, dropped passes, and a multitude of interceptions, we are left wondering why Deshaun couldn’t pull through this time. Popstar! investigated the controversial loss and through the muck of multiple rumors and possible scenarios we have discovered the underlying cause of the shocking upset. After talking to a reliable source, it has been confirmed that Deshaun Watson was in fact bribed by the senior Pittsburgh kicker, Chris Blewitt, to in fact throw the game and allow Chris to make the unlikely comeback in the last few seconds of Saturday nights game with a 48-yard field goal. After seeing Deshaun’s constant snapchat stories of chicken hibachi with extra white sauce, Chris knew Deshaun wouldn’t be able to pass up a life time of free hibachi at Clemson’s very own Osaka Express. Coaches, teammates, students, and fans everywhere are left bewildered at the betrayal from such a well respected and promising icon. Deshaun, we know hibachi is life but you really “Blewitt” this time.