Nick and Alyssa Pinning A Speech Cut Short

Nick (American Melly) Melanson and Alyssa (Luda-Ludacris) Mintz also known as mom and dad have always been known as being the most responsible couple that stay in most nights. This is my favorite thing about them because it makes fucking with them even more entertaining.

I am going to take you back to a time when I took advantage of this quality. Nick was not back yet from one of Alyssa’s date Dashes and the roommates and I thought it would be a great idea to take Mellys door off his hinges and hide it at close by live out.

Upon their arrival at about 9 p.m. (to go to bed in the Harry Potter room located on the third floor) and the inevitable mom and dad missionary sex that would have ensued, our plot had worked and they came home to a room with no door. This was a point in time that really tested their relationship.

Nick asked all of our roommates pleading his case that he needed his door to bang it out with Alyssa. Yet, no one was budging. Alyssa was diligently working upstairs to hang a sheet in place of the door.

Nick slowly let it go and proceeded to return to his Queen upstairs.

But, the roommates and I had another plan.

We strategically followed him minutes later and took down the sheet; Drunk Melly proceeded to chase us in his American made whitey tides down the stairs.

We got away and that was when Alyssa realized that she could no longer go on.

We were downstairs in the living room and saw Alyssa look at all of us in frustration and disgust. She was also wearing her favorite flannel of Nicks, which made me think all hope isn’t lost for them. If a girl takes a piece of clothing the still want you. Melly finally returned from his room upstairs and was crying and sobbing the rest of the night looked like the saddest little puppy I have ever seen. (This is not fake news Nick, I have Multiple accounts of this) and that was when I knew as a roommate that we broke him. He was so crossed by the end of the night that he thought they were over, YET, I also realized that he must really love this girl.

Melly now also refuses to sleep at Alyssa’s house because of her small room but we all know it is because he is scared that I will again take a door from their place of lovemaking again.

Whenever you see Nick out you know you won’t see him for about another two weeks. Alyssa is the same way but she recently discovered marijuana and seems to be quite the hermit crab. I guess that’s why they are perfect for each other.

Nick is one of the greatest Boyfriends I have ever met. For 2 reasons

1. December 6, 2014.

Do any of you know why this day is important?

This is the day that Nick Melanson and I entered into a domestic partnership on Facebook. How sad is that? He won’t even make it Facebook official with this poor girl.

2. He is such a nice boyfriend that he lets Alyssa keep her Tampons in his room,

I’m not even that nice, when I lived at Harris house that is where Kallyn had to go find hers.

I love you guys and best of luck in Denver. (Alyssa Try to stay away from the Pot you Pothead)

All of mellys family has had great experiences with the Kappa Sigma Fraternity. Whether it be his mom blacking out, his dad shooting guns with fellow members, or his sisters late night trips to the Harris house basement.

Created By
Bologna Brains

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