After a long conversation, Mr. Bennet gladly showed the way to the drawing room and invited Mr. Collins to share a book. He eagerly accepted the proposal and took a brief look at the books available. He brushed his finger against a variety of novels and let out a disappointed sigh.
“Novels are childish and will only distract you from what’s truly important for a successful life,” Mr. Collins critiqued.
The sisters exchanged uncertain glances as Mr. Collins flipped open the Holy Bible, monotonously reading three pages. From outside, there was a suspicious rattle that let out a loud bang. However, Mr. Collins paid no heed and continued reading.
“Mother, have you heard that I have plans to walk to Meryton in hopes to overhear who Colonel Forster will hire?” Lydia exclaimed, trying to change the topic. Mr. Collins was highly offended by the obvious lack of appreciation the girls had for the Bible.
“I apologize deeply, Mr. Collins. My girls don’t mean to be disrespectful. You must do us the favor of reading more,” Mrs. Bennet spoke in a chirpy voice.
“Oh, it’s quite alright. It is very much concerning that young girls these days only read books for their benefit rather than investing time to become closer to God. However, it would be useless for me to continue boring your daughters any further, so I will have to deny the request,” Mr. Collins responded angrily.
Suddenly, the glass in a window exploded. The glass shreds unfortunately landed only onto his lap, leaving him in a bit of shock. A chubby, grotesque-looking zombie wearing ragged clothes slowly fell out of the window and wobbled into the home.
Screaming, the girls ran to the opposite side of the room, waiting for Mr. Collins to respond. He looked up, yelped and cowered- and started praying to himself. Everyone was appalled. His whole body began to freeze with minimal reaction to the hungry zombie in front of him.
It was only until the zombie was right above Mr. Collins did he curl up and begin to sob, asking the lord for repentance.
“Hurry, fetch me the chair, Jane!” Elizabeth screamed in a panic. She held up her skirt as she sprinted across the room to save Mr. Collins.
“Please save me,” he whimpered, awaiting his death.
Elizabeth grabbed a chair and knocked the zombie across the room, hitting the fireplace as a result. Mr. Collins quickly ran to hide behind Lizzy, using her as a shield. Lizzy’s eyebrows furrowed and she had a clear look of annoyance on her face. She was at disbelief- what kind of man would be such a coward as to hide behind a woman who just risked her life to save him?
The zombie, still lying on the wooden floor, seemed to be knocked unconscious. Lydia let out a sigh of relief and the rest of the girls exchanged a surprised look.
Astounded, Mr. Collins stared up at her. Elizabeth simply said, “I don’t think your prayers would have saved you, Mr. Collins.”
Mr. Collins’ face twisted with vexation, but nevertheless, he turned to Mr. Bennet. He was embarrassed, and hoped to cover that up by playing a game and forgetting what had just happened.
“How about a game of backgammon? Clearly, it’s pointless to read when the girls do not appreciate the Bible as much as I do.”
Hoping that their relations would stay civil, Mr. Bennet accepted, knowing that doing so would distract the girls. Mrs. Bennet and several other sisters apologized profusely for Lydia’s interruption, even protesting, “She will never do that again, Mr. Collins, you must understand.” They persuaded him to continue reading his book.
“I have no ill will towards Lydia,” he informed them. He then sat at another table with Mr. Bennet and prepared for a nice game of backgammon.