Well Diary, I am beginning to get a bit restless here at Manor House. Uncle Jack is gone and Miss Prism has found a new hobby in bombarding me with work to do every day. In fact, I am writing now only because I have distracted her with a walk with Dr. Chausible. They are a truly most peculiar couple, but adorable all the same. I have not had the opportunity to think of my dear Ernest or write him any letters because of the amount of work I have. How worried he must be! I think I will write him a quick letter as soon as I finish this entry. I long for the day when he will show up unexpectedly, marry me, and take me to town to live with him (of course he will know that we have been engaged for quite some time). Then, I will not have to sit in the blazing sun and learn German (a most exhausting language to learn in my opinion). Oh, how I wish-- I must write to you later, Miss Prism has already return!
From your Cecily
Diary, I must be frank and admit that I am quite at my wits end with my mother. She is making my life completely miserable and I have had enough! All I want to do is marry my sweet Ernest, and she will not let me because he has no parents. How rude and inconsiderate of her! You would think a mother would push for her daughter to be married and not prevent her. I do not understand this woman. I have decided to leave town and go to the country in order to see him again. Mama does not know and my heart pounds while confessing it to you I cannot wait to arrive and see the look of surprise on his face (even got his name tattooed on my derrière). I must go now. I shall write to you later.
I have so much to tell you, I haven't got the patience to write it! Much has happened today, and it is only noon! Uncle Jack's brother, Ernest, has come to Manor House! It was just yesterday that I dreamed for him to come. And what's more... he proposed! Well, I mean, he did before, but this time it was for certain. I have no idea when we are to get married, but I hope soon. However, I am quite skeptical of his proposal, for a lady just came to Manor House as well claiming to be engaged to him. How dare she come up here and tell me my Ernest is engaged to her! (I am sitting next to her now and it is a pain to look at her). I know fully well that my Ernest would never marry someone as upity as her (she has no style in clothes or food). I will write to you the verdict once Ernest comes.
Until then, Cecily
Hello again Diary, I have arrived at my lovely Ernest's house in the country and I am quite disappointed. He never told me he had a girl living here and was engaged to her. How absurd! I come all this way, risking my life for him, and I found out he's been cheating! But, I must say that I do not fully believe he is engaged to her. She looks much too young for him and is rather childish for someone her age. (She looks to be 20, but dresses as if she were 5!) And her behaviour is unbecoming of her. I specifically told her no sugar in my tea and she put it in! I asked for bread and butter and she gives me cake! The insolent thing. I do hope Ernest comes quick so this may be cleared up once and for all.
Even though today is a new day, I must tell you of yesterday's events. After I wrote to you yesterday, Ernest did show up, but I learned that his name was actually Algernon Moncrieff and that he was never engaged to Gwendolen (I had forgotten to mention her name). This gave me great relief, but his Aunt Augusta came and dared to keep us from marrying. And poor Uncle Jack was engaged to Gwendolen, but was kept from marrying her as well. (Aunt Augusta is not a very nice woman.) I also found out that Miss Prism was the one who took Uncle Jack as an infant and left him at Victoria Station (his real name is Ernest)! Him and Algernon are brothers that were separated. How joyous it was! And Lady Bracknell, now my Aunt Augusta, agreed to let Gwendolen marry Uncle Jack and Algernon to marry me. Even Miss Prism and Dr. Chausible got together! Yesterday ended very happily indeed.
Your dearest Cecily
After yesterday's entry, here is what happened:
My Ernest did arrive and explained to me that he was not engaged to Cecily (the girl whose name I forgot to mention). In fact, at first she told me his name was Jack and not Ernest, which was quite a blow at that time. Cecily and I kept to ourselves for a while after the men deceived us with who they were, and then they apologized and told us that they were to be christened that night. After we had made up, Mama showed arrived! As always at the most inopportune time! The maid told her after Mama gave her a coin. She again tried to keep Ernest and I from marrying and also Algernon and Cecily. Much was discussed in between, but she had a change of heart once she knew of what family Cecily was from and how much money she had. My Earnest would not let Cecily and Algernon (for she is his ward) marry unless Mama would let him and I marry. How clever he is! To my great surprise, she consented and allowed us to be married. Ernest did find out who his parents were after Mama questioned a Miss Prism (Cecily's teacher). And his name has always been Ernest after all. After all that has transpired, I am quite happy, well, and excited to be with my Ernest forever.