Finally, my painting is finished!
It's a great feeling once you finish a painting which you have long worked on and you are satisfied with the result. But your work does not finish there. I want to say upfront that I am not the guru of how to know when a painting is finished. Hell no.
Knowing when to put the brush down and calling it finished is a skill on its own. There are many times when I have considered a painting finished, only to get the paints out again later on to fix up something that was annoying me or an error which revealed itself... but now it‘s finished! For sure :)
About this painting:
“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.”
Last January I lost a very important person in my life.. The pain of it was agonizing, heart-stopping. I could not think. I could not eat. I could not sleep. I could not breathe.
I expressed and released pain, anger, denial, guilt, sadness, and on and on, until I exhausted myself. The bottom had dropped out of my life, and my sense of self was left shattered.
If I could be so wrong about something I had felt such certainty about, I thought, then there was nothing that I could possibly be right about. I was tragically flawed and doomed.
So I did something desperate and extreme. I bought a flight ticket to India and tried to be brave with myself.. traveling around in India for 5 weeks alone. I wanted to be alone with my feelings.. and it was definitely not easy.
My intention was escape: to run from the darkness, as far and as fast as possible, and to somehow exchange my old, broken life for a shiny new one...
It didn’t work the way I expected it to.
Instead of the dynamic new life in the same city I had envisioned, I created instead an involuntary retreat into solitude and self-reflection. But one day everything changed and I’m so thankful now for all the new friendships and support I received! I see everything so different now.. I learned a very important lesson.
I was left with the one thing I couldn’t leave behind: me.
This painting will be in the next exhibition!
#oilpainting #feelings #selfreflection #breave #swissartist #skyartphotography @baselart @baselcity @exhibitionswitzerland @Swissart