Grandpa's Alone for Christmas By Zayne Luker

Jingle Bells

Grandma Smells

Because her corpse is next to the stove

Hacked her up and drove

Grilled her hands

Pulled her teeth

Bleached her skin

And threw her in a bin

Took her organs

Drove them to Portland

Sold them for thirteen grand

She's my best selling brand

Who cares she couldn't even stand

Then I laugh

Because Grandpa is alone for Christmas

AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR

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