When you are younger you think that everything and everyone is happy. You think that people just say sorry and move on, but in reality this is not the case. All your life you see people get hurt and move away, and you always say to yourself that will never be you. However, this is not always the case.
For the past few months I have felt nervous and unsure about my family. My parents seem to be drifting apart, and I talk about this all the time to my friends because of how worried I am for them. The date is September 18th 2016, and I am downstairs in my basement doing my homework and Face Timing my best friend.
All of a sudden I hear my mom come down the stairs, “Hey Ab me and dad need to talk to you, your brother, and your sister”. “Yeah of course can I just finish this problem and I’ll be right up” I say very unsure.
I feel like something weird is happening, so I put down my homework and I told my friend I will call her back later.
As I walk up stairs I see the pictures on my basement wall of my childhood artwork begin to fade away, but I do not know why. These feelings inside of me are eating me away, and making me feel like there is nothing left of me. Once I sit down next to my brother and sister I know something is up. There are for some reason two chairs sitting in the middle of the room waiting for someone to sit in. I look around to see if either of my siblings seem to care or notice, but I feel like I am the only one feeling nervous. At least not my brother he seems to think that we are receiving good news.
As my parents sit down I look over at my mom and her face is full of tears, the room is now dead silent.
My dad starts to speak, “guys, for the longest time me and your mom have been drifting and we decided to get a divorce”.
All of sudden I look around to figure out what is happening, but all I see or hear is my little 10 year old brother crying so I sit there strong for his sake. For some reason I am not crying, my eyes are as dry as can be. However, I feel like someone just punched me in the stomach, and that I am on the verge to fall apart.
As my dad’s crying he tells us, “I’m so sorry”, and right there in that very moment I realize that it is time for me to leave before I break down in front of my little brother.
As I leave the room my eyes become full of tears, so I run upstairs to get away from my family who makes me want to break down even more. Even though my dad comes in to check on me in my room I can not look at him, I love him but everything seems different now it is as if I am mad at him. I felt like I can not forgive him or my mom for getting a divorce, it is as if they forgot about the three children it is affecting.
My dad let's me know that, “your mom and I haven’t figured out where we will move to or anything yet, so take a breath this is still your house and I’m still your dad”.
My dad's words make me feel more at ease, except the silence between the two of us makes everything seem even worse than it all ready is.
This divorce is making me realize that I have to work harder than ever. I feel like I am not able to disappoint or be anything less than perfect because of the stress this whole family is in. My whole life is beginning to feel like a bunch of questions that can not be answered, making me more unsure then ever. My life has flipped in a matter of seconds and everything I thought I would do or take part of seems impossible, nothing will ever be the same. Sometimes life hits you with a curve ball but you still need to be the best you can be for yourself, and the people around you. No matter how hard it is to move on or to forgive someone .