Butter Side Up or Down?
There are questions that stump us all, like, Is change good? Does God know everything? Does he love us? These are all great questions that no one truly knows the answer to. Another hard question to answer is if you drop bread with butter on it, what side will it land on? The answer was unknown until this. This group of people that love to experiment to find answers tested this question to find an answer. This group of people will show you the non-logical way to find answers and give knowledge to the public for the greater of the community. I know you don't like this word being used but they are called scientists. They know more than you think. They do what any man could do. They grab butter and spread it on bread. The church also can try a falling bread test as well. So you don't have to believe us, you just have to do the test yourself. Simple as that.
Don't think of this as the church being wrong because everyone knows you aren't. Think of it as a way to gain more knowledge. The bread almost always landed butter side up. It went butter side down only a few times. You aren't wrong. It still landed butter side down every once and a while. This is just the start of a new era. So we can get even closer to God. We just want the best for the church and this is the way to do it. To experiment and find more knowledge to get closer to God. You may be sightly against this, but think of this as the beginning of a revolution of some sort. The start of a time of more knowledge for the church.