Congressional Term Limits A Children's Story of Struggle, Sacrifice, and Survial

Once upon a time, there was a very orange man named Donald Trump.

He decided to run for president of the United States. And he won, somehow.

Mr. Trump was an ambitious man. He promised to drain the damp and dark Washington Swamp of Corruption, where such mythical creatures such as the "Mitch McConnell" and the "Congressman" lived.

But how would he do this? One day, while admiring himself in a gold plated mirror, he had a brilliant idea:

Congressional term limits!

And so, on the fateful day of October the 18th in the fateful year of 2016, he announced his plan to the world. 3 two year terms for House members, and 2 six year terms for Senate members.

And so the people celebrated. After all, over 75% of Americans supported term limits.

However, back in the swamp, the Mitch McConnell was angry as all get out. "How could he!" he shouted. "The Swamp is my home, and you can't just take it away from me!" His fellow Congressmen wholeheartedly agreed.

And so the Mitch McConnell hatched a plan. A brilliant plan. A plan that he was the best at.

Do nothing.

Just like he'd been doing with Obama for years. The Mitch McConnell cackled a evil cackle, and scuttled away to tell his plan to the Congressmen of the Swamp.

You see, the Mitch McConnell was a smart creature. He knew that the president had no way to directly impose congressional term limits, as a Supreme Court decision had ruled term limits must be in the form of a amendment.

This meant that Congress voted on the matter, as well as the states.

Not only that, the Mitch McConnell was the Senate majority leader, which meant HE could decide when the vote could be carried out.

In order for president Trump to succeed, he'd need 2/3 of both the House and Senate, as well as 3/4 of the states to agree with him.

And no Congressman in his right mind would let the Swamp be drained!

And even if Congress and the states passed the amendment, the Mitch McConnell had another weapon:

The Supreme Court.

After all, he could just sue the amendment away! This meant Trump had almost no chance of getting any amendments passed.

But remember, Donald Trump is a crafty man. And he had a crafty idea.

Free Trump masks for all congressmen that vote for term limits!

Except for the Mitch McConnell, of course.

No one could resist Trump's amazing offer. the Mitch McConnell was deposed. The 28th Amendment was drafted, voted on, and passed. Even the honorable Supreme Court judges couldn't reject the Trump masks. The Mitch McConnell had no chance.

And so the swamp was drained. Some Congressmen, happily wearing their Trump masks, simply moved into residential suburbs, while PACs lost influence in Congress had to spend their money on building houses for more needy Congressmen instead. New people and new ideas began flowing to Capitol Hill, some good, others not so much. Corruption, both perceived and real, dropped. The term "career politician" slowly faded out of memory, and everyone just found something else to argue about.

As for the Mitch McConnell?

He ran away to the mountains, and became the one, the only: The Grinch.

Footnotes

As a satirical story, some ideas present were not exactly based on fact. This footnote is meant to clarify any confusion.

  1. Mitch McConnell is a person, and not a mythical being.
  2. Trump would not be able to bribe congressmen with face masks.
  3. Congress would most likely never pass a term limit amendment, due to the difficult process. The passed amendment in this story was meant to show what would happen if such an amendment was passed.

Sources

Conway, Madeline, Ben Schreckinger, Mark Perry, Brian Latell, Michael Grunwald, and Philip Gordon. "Trump Calls for Congressional Term Limits." POLITICO. N.p., n.d. Web. 04 Dec. 2016.

"The Return of Term Limits." National Review. N.p., 21 Sept. 2015. Web. 04 Dec. 2016.

"SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR DONALD TRUMP." Donald J Trump for President. N.p., n.d. Web. 04 Dec. 2016.

"Term Limits." Our Generation. N.p., n.d. Web. 04 Dec. 2016.

Tomboulides, Nick. "The President Can Help Term Limit Congress." TheHill. N.p., 19 Oct. 2016. Web. 04 Dec. 2016.

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