...with my phone, from a vending machine, which alerted my phone to what I had just done. It all feels so unnecessary compared to using coins.
Some photos of planes. Back in the queue. Back at the window. By now it's 3pm, my 2:45pm flight says Flight Closed everywhere but boarding hasn't even started and there's been no announcements at all.
And then, at about 3:15pm I guess? We board. I'm row 13, centre of the plane boarding from the rear. I have an aisle seat. The plane is full. There's no legroom at all.
The plane fills up, and the captain tells us why we're late. When preparing, they'd seen fluid in a pool on the ground and he was worried there was a leak so go it checked out. It proved to be leftover hydraulic fluid from a refill of a previous plane; our bird is healthy and ready to go.
We taxi. We pause. EasyJet seats are so close together there's no room for me to see where we are, but the mystery is solved when the captain comes back on the tannoy to tell us we're going back to the stand.
We're going back to the stand. Already over half an hour late, some piece of computing equipment is broken. Having already told us he's a wimp and safety mad - which is probably a good thing - he's worried we shouldn't fly with one of 7 computing units broken, even though we could make do with 2.
I'm quite worried now. I kinda need to be in Luxembourg. I mean, I'm sure everyone on the plane does, but I've got a deadline. No one seems to acknowledge this. An engineer boards, goes into the cockpit, there are loud grinding noises for 5 minutes, he leaves.
So apparently this plane is going nowhere. There are 18 kids onboard - anyone want to get a photo in the cockpit, "pressing the buttons that do work"? So a queue forms. I don't join it.
Instead, I send a series of ever more panicky Facebook messages to Helen. See, normally I think I'm pretty good at going; crisis? What crisis? It'll be fine. But then, normally I'm on a plane to somewhere in Europe and I'm going to return on the same one. So delays to the outbound are fine, because they'll roll forwards.
But this time, I'm flying easyJet to Luxembourg for the lols in order to catch BA back. There's four hours grace in my timetable, and it's seriously being eaten into. I think we won't go. I totally want to Leave, but easyJet are making me Remain.
I feel sick, even like I want to cry. If I miss my BA flight I'm fucked. It's the first leg of a much bigger journey, paid for with miles and cash, no insurance covers this afaik. If we do go, very late, there's no alternate way back to London tonight. And with planes, if you miss leg one the rest are automatically cancelled. I'm looking at losing all my miles and cash, not going to Australia, and forking out for a hotel and flight home. This is really bad!
My conviction that we're going nowhere multiplies when the captain says they've asked to borrow a spare plane but no one has any. You ain't asking for a new plane if you expect to go, right?
Engineer comes back. He has an idea: turn everything off then on again. Brilliant. My phone tells me my next flight is in 3 hours, and Helen manages to convince me to ask BA for help so I tweet at them.
Oh, yeah, I'm on Twitter now, in my capacity as ludicrous drunken travel blogger. @darrenfRTW, yo.
I finish tweeting and captain says, right, rebooting didn't work..so they replaced it. Things work, so we're going to refuel and the dispatcher will let us go. Really? By now it's 1800 in Luxembourg, just over 3 hours until my flight. We should have landed an hour ago but are still on stand. And the loud pro-Leave guy a few seats up is annoying. Like, really annoying.