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Communication in Close Relationships

Announcements

  • Keep up with the journals!

Agenda

  • Communication in Close Relationship- Friendships and Family

Check In

  • Think of one friend you have (any friend - closeness doesn't matter)
  • How long have you known this person for? Have you maintained friends the whole time?
  • Do you do specific activities when together OR do you just hangout to catch up or share feelings/update on life?
  • Do you share very personal things with this person or you keep it general?
  • Does it really matter what you do with this person when deciding to hangout? OR do you usually only meet this person in certain situations/environments?
  • How often do you keep in touch with them?

5min

Types of Friendships

Short vs. long-term

Task vs. maintenance-oriented

Low vs. high disclosure

Low vs. high obligation

Infrequent vs. frequent contact

Why might it be important to know these differences in types of friendships?

Gender and Friendships

Do you have a tendency to have more same-sex friendships or cross-sex friendships?

Do you think it is possible to be friends w/ someone of the sex that you are attracted to?

SPAR DEBATE

Think of one or two reasons why it is and why it is not possible to be friends with someone of the sex that you are attracted to (3min)

Debate Format

  • Pro (1min)
  • Questioning (1min)
  • Con (1min)
  • Questioning (1min)
  • Pro (1min)
  • Con (1min)

family

what makes a family?

system with two or more interdependent people who have a common history and a present reality and who expect to influence each other in the future

what are some examples of non-traditional families?

Families have unique set of rules & patterns

think-pair-share

  • Write down and answer:
  • does your family converse with each other frequently and freely? do you feel like you can talk to them about anything?
  • does your family let you do your own thing or do a lot of your decisions need their approval?

conversation & conformity

COnversation orientation

Degree to which families favor an open climate of discussion of a wide array of topics

  • High: interact freely, frequently, and spontaneously
  • Low: interact less; less exchange of private thoughts

Conformity orientation

Degree to which family communication stresses uniformity of attitudes, values, and beliefs

  • High: seek harmony, interdependence, obedience
  • Low: individuality, independence, equality

Family communication patterns

  • Consensual- High conversation/High conformity = discussion, but parents ultimately decide
  • Pluralistic- High conversation/Low conformity = open discussion from all parties, decision emerges from discussion
  • Protective- Low conversation/High conformity = no real discussion, parent's decision
  • Laissez-faire- Low conversation/Low conformity orientation = doesn't matter what you want to do

which one is it?

Which pattern is your family comm pattern?

boomerang generation

  • Using the guidelines in “Effective Communication in Families” what's the top 3 advice you would give to a family experiencing this boomerang effect?

effective communication in families

  • Manage the Connection-Autonomy dialectic
  • Strive for closeness while respecting boundaries.
  • Enmeshed families suffer from too much consensus, too little independence, and a very high demand of loyalty.
  • Disengaged families occur when members of families have too little cohesion.
  • Boundaries are needed to set limits on family members’ actions. Social networking provides challenges for privacy management
  • Encourage confirming messages.

quiz

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