The Places I've Been

As you know I was at Troy for 10 years fighting the crazy Trojan war. As soon as this war ended all I could think about was getting home, but along the way I ran into many bumps in the road. My first stop was the Cicones, here we fought an army, many of our men were killed. I thought after this I was going to make it home safely but the current took me out to sea.
My next stop was with the Lotus Eaters. Our plan was to stop and get some water, but then we got offered lotus flowers in which took away our memory that we needed to continue on our voyage. While my men longed to stay forever I drove them to the ship and got them aboard and got out.
The land of the Laestrygonians was a very short stop, but full of gigantic cannibals. Every ship but mine did not make it out.
The Cyclops was the next stop and during this stop if it wasn't for me all my men would be dead and never would've escaped. The Cyclops ate 2 of my men then after we gave him wine to make him drunk and hopefully become sleepy. As he drank he asked for my name in which I told him was "Nohbdy", moments after he fell asleep. While he was asleep my men and I got a large stick and sharpened the end and stabbed his eye out, after we did he got up and said "Nohbdy's tricked me, Nohbdy's ruined me" so no one came to help. When he let his sheep out my men and I attached ourselves to the bottom of the sheep and escaped.
My next stop at The Island of Aeolia should've been my last stop. Here I meant the wind king who took all the rough wind in the air that was disturbing my voyage and put it into a bag, then he blew a strong wind that would've taken me straight to Ithaca. I told my men to not touch the bag because it holds the wind but they did not believe me so when I was sleeping they cut open the bag and let the wind out and totally turned our ship around.
With Circe was one I got stuck at. All my men turned into animals! I was told to eat something to make her spell not work on me. When I walked in and she attempted to cast her spell on me she was astonished to see that her spell didn't work. After her spell didn't work she asked me to take her to bed in which I did to only get home to you, my loves. Oddly here years felt like days and I got trapped there for a several seasons but managed to realize I needed to leave so I gathered my men and left.
At the stop of the Sirens I plugged my men's ears with wax to distract them from the women's beautiful voices so when wouldn't get stuck and moved right through.
Charybdis was able to suck in water and create a gigantic whorl pool and get us caught.
Scylla was a big 6 head monster that ate a few of my men. We gave up one of our sheep, and got out as quickly as possible
I went Thrinakia to pray for a safe trip home to Ithaca. I try and warn my men to not eat Helios's cattle but they did not listen for starvation blinded them and they were all killed by Zeus
Calypso was the one I got stuck at for a long time. Here Calypso feel in love with me, she made me stay there for 7 years. At first I did as Calypso wished, but all I strived for was to return home. Calypso eventually told me I could leave, she didn't want me to and she even promised eternity to me. Even though she was beautiful and I could've lived forever I wanted to be a husband, father, and king of Ithaca so I started back home.
My last stop at Phaeacia I told the Phaeacians my story and then I was guided home.

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